Jabron1 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 ...what would it be? I thought it would be interesting to have a thread full of good advice. Mine would be: focus on peoples actions, not words. Think that applies to all areas of life. 8
WaitingForBardot Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Don't waste your time worrying about people that aren't interested in you. 6
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Don't give out too much too soon. And do nothing you don't want to do, just because you think it might get you some place. 3
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Take things slow. By that I mean you should not expect the new person you are just starting to date to act like somebody you have known for years. Don't reveal all your secrets up front. Don't immediately expect that person to make you their #1 priority nor should you make them yours. Get to know each other & let things build over time 6
salparadise Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Make sure it's reciprocal. If not, take the first exit. 6
Kamille Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Get comfortable receiving and handing out rejection. 6
JustGettingBy Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Don't take rejection personally, it happens to everyone for arbitrary reasons. 5
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 ^^Great advice!^^ I would say "Text only when it's absolutely necessary, wholly unavoidable and your only option"...! 4
Author Jabron1 Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I'll add another. Don't date co-workers. 5
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Follow your instincts and stand up for yourself - do not brush over or compromise on something that's really important to you, however much you think you're attracted now. Dating is as much about spotting potential incompatibilities as marveling at the fact that you almost have the same taste in music. 2
Mr. Lucky Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Avoid putting anyone on a pedestal Or pretending, especially early in a relationship, to be something you're not... Mr. Lucky 2
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I'll add another. Don't date co-workers. Totally agree. There's a couple of threads on that subject currently, and I'm with you on this one. 1
Author Jabron1 Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 Totally agree. There's a couple of threads on that subject currently, and I'm with you on this one. I don't think anyone listens. That's one lesson we all have to learn the hard way.
Shanex Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Totally agree. There's a couple of threads on that subject currently, and I'm with you on this one. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. And never crap where you eat. Agreed. My advice aside from what said before : just BE yourself, don't change for someone. If she/he doesn't like you, someone else will. 1
Gloria25 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Take things slow. By that I mean you should not expect the new person you are just starting to date to act like somebody you have known for years. Don't reveal all your secrets up front. Don't immediately expect that person to make you their #1 priority nor should you make them yours. Get to know each other & let things build over time That's ^^ what I pretty much was about to say. Take your time...get to know that person before having sex, putting all your eggs into that basket, marrying, and/or having kids. Preferably 1 1/2 to 2 years of "dating" (not shacking up, co-workers, friends, LDR). 1
losangelena Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 If you match on OLD, meet each other as soon as you can. No text relationships. 3
sid3 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Over analyzing is the kiss of death in building attraction IMO 5
elaine567 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Don't keep writing a Hollywood love story in your head, keep it real. If he/she is a cheating rat who treats you bad, recognise that and get out quick. Do not be swayed by "I love yous", anyone can say "ILY" and not mean a word, and they frequently do. If he/she is being horrible to you, they obviously DO NOT love you no matter what they say. 1
oldshirt Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 My tip will be controversial at best and I realize some will be truly offended by it, but as a 52 year old that seen and done a lot of things, if I could go back to my youth and could only change one thing it would be this - - I would not let the fact that someone I was interested in was seeing someone stop me from asking them out. (I am not talking about married people with kids and mortgages and shared properties and accounts etc) If I could go back and change one thing, it would be that if someone caught my eye and made my heart skip a beat, I would ask them out then and there and not sit on the sidelines waiting for them to stop seeing someone and waiting for them to be completely free and clear. I would make my offer and leave it up to them if they wanted to take the chance and go out with me or not. If they accepted the offer, then I would make it worth their risk. If they declined then I would give them the open offer with a smile on my face and give them my contact info in case they change their mind down the road (.....and many of them eventually did) I've learned a few things the hard way over the years. -One is the best candidates are never completely free and single, they are always seeing someone or involved with someone to one degree or another. - another is most dating relationships are not as serious or as committed as what you may think they are and many will jump to a bigger and better deal. It's on you to be that bigger and better deal. - desirable people rarely have any kind of extended period of being completely single. Most have their next suitor warming up on deck and ready to go before they dump their current and then they monkey swing to the next. - if you haven't put yourself in their batting line up, you won't be the one that is next at bat. - And the biggest thing I learned the hard way is you are either on the playing field getting bumps and bruises and sweaty and dirty, or you are sitting in the bleachers on the sidelines watching other people play. If you want to be the one going home with the cheerleader or the quarterback, you need to put your game face on, roll up your sleeves and walk out on the field ready to sweat, bleed and get some dirt on you. There are forty year old virgins that don't want to do that and I understand and it's ok. But for many others, the pain of sitting on the bleachers watching eventually gets worse than the bumps and bruises of playing and the first step is to stop waiting for Sexy Suzy to be completely free and single before you make your move. Because Sexy Suzy's next boyfriend is going to be the one that makes his move before she is done with her current one and if you sit and wait for her to be completely free, you are just going to spend your life waiting. Best tip anyone can ever give is to simply make your move. Don't wait for a perfect, uncomplicated moment because that moment will never happen. The only things that will happen in life are the things you make happen. 3
LydiaLong Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 These are all really good pieces of advice. Another one is not to appear needy. Don't always respond to texts right away. Make the other person understand that you have an active, full life (even if you don't). Don't be too available. And postpone sex until you are absolutely sure that you want to wake up next to this person forever. In my experience, once you have sex, the relationship changes dramatically....mostly for the worst.
SwordofFlame Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Your own wants/needs are every bit as important as his/hers. 5
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