LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Me and my ex broke up a few months ago. We kept each other on Facebook and comment and like each other's stuff occasionally. 5 weeks ago we got into a pretty nasty argument, we both said some things in anger and I deleted him off Facebook. I never thought to block him. Last night, I had a little nosey at this Facebook, even though I can't really see anything. I was a bit fed up, and feeling reflectful about the good times we shared in our relationship. I went on Facebook this morning and see that he's blocked me. I haven't contacted him at all in the 5 weeks, so it's not as if I've been bothering him, and as neither of us can see much on each other's profiles when we aren't friends, I don't understand why he's got up this morning, searched for me, and then blocked me so randomly?? I understand the whole him wanting to move on, maybe nothing to do with me anymore, but wouldn't you block someone when they defriended you at the time? Why so randomly, 5 weeks later, when there hasn't been any contact??
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I think he's put a cap on it. You deleted him, then found him again, him then went nosying. It's over. Just move on. Why let it bother you? You should never have kept in contact after the break. That just prolongs the agony, gives a false sense of affection and all too often (as amply demonstrated) leads to squabbles. Block him, delete, deny, move on. As you so rightly stated, he's your EX. Keep it that way. In all ways.
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I can't block him cause he's blocked me:rolleyes:
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 But what I'm saying is... Why would he block me, so randomly, after weeks of no contact? Why not just leave well alone, what's the need in blocking me when I haven't contacted him and I'm not going too. A power statement??
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Look. The big problem is, you can't get into someone's head to work out the mess in there.... We could come up with all kinds of replies but (one) they'd all be hypothesis, and (two) you dated him - you know him better than any of us. The big question is - now that he's an ex (and has been, for a while) why let his histrionics bother you? It's over. Frankly, reminiscing by checking up on them is a bad idea, because it sets you back, and makes you ask questions nobody can answer. It's an imponderable. Move on. Even if you found out the answer - what difference would it make? I mean, does it really, really matter? You're expending and wasting more mental energy cogitating this, than he probably did, blocking you. In the immortal "frozen" words of advice: Let it go. 1
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I know, it just... Sucks. I had hoped we could have at least been friendly towards one another. Truthfully, I actually really miss him, and I miss talking to him
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 He finished with me, but then when I started going on dates, he got the hump. I thought we would get back together, so kept in touch, but he just completely changed and started being cruel towards me.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 He finished with me, but then when I started going on dates, he got the hump. Never assume responsibility for someone else's immaturity. I thought we would get back together, so kept in touch, I guess you know now, that was a bad idea, huh? If someone breaks up with you, don't give them the opportunity to crap on you from a high horse. but he just completely changed and started being cruel towards me. So? THis would be the perfect reason to go total No Contact, for good. But playing these silly games just prolongs your agony, and stokes HOS ego. So, now you know what to do.... right?
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I just always tried to remain civil. It doesn't sit well with me falling out with people, whether it's an ex or a friend. I just have a big heart, and being blocked, truthfully, has hurt me.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Let me try to explain something to you. He doesn't care. If he cared, he wouldn't have blocked you. "The person who cares the least, controls the most." It's sadly irrelevant how big-hearted you are. Sometimes, you have to do what's best, and it may not necessarily be what your big heart wants. But it could be what your big heart NEEDS. And you've been hurt because you have more invested than he did. If he had invested as much as you, you wouldn't be broken up now. No Contact means repair. It means damage limitation. It means moving on and healing more quickly. It means NO contact. Much as it may hurt, it's what is best for YOU - that counts.
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I understand what you are saying. I think the thing I struggle the most with getting my head around is someone who did once care, now not caring at all, with the click of a finger.
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I'll tell you why and how this happens. Because the centres in the brain of like/dislike, love/hate are right next door to one another. Once somebody decides you're history, the emotion simply makes a light and short step sideways from one state to the other. If that's your intention, the mission is accomplished, and it's easily done. Like a light switch. Have you any idea of the complexity of getting power into your home just so's you can turn a light on/off? That's how it works. 1
sorano Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 tara nailed it. nothing else to say. The reason why its bothering you, and I could be wrong, is that you still had hope of getting back together. Because you were still friends on facebook, you thought it will all be ok and one day reunite. The facebook thing kept that alive. Now that he blocked you, its reality and now you know its over. No contact. Thts it. My ex who dumped me, she is ghost, no contact. No idea if she hit the lotto, dead, alive, fine, sick, I just dont care. In my world, she does not exist anymore and isn't even a real person anymore. she literally is a ghost
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 I deleted him off Facebook 5 weeks ago. We haven't had contact since. I just found it strange to then one random day, 5 weeks later decide to block me. And it's strung a little
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 He blocked you because he knew - or maybe suspected - you were lurking, peeking or whatever. so it's not so much a move to exclude you - more a retaliation because he knows you'll know. Like I said, he couldn't care less.
Author LuckyxGuapa Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 What do you mean by retaliation? He did it to stop me looking or did it to provoke a reaction?
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Both. But he doesn't care what reaction you have. Just that you have one. And he knows you care more about him than he does about you. He broke up with you, remember? So there are bound to be differences in your feelings. Naturally, you felt more. But he doesn't care. He just wants you to know that.
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