Chris516 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I have known a woman online for several years. I asked her last year, if I would be able to come for a visit. She said, yes. She told me that a male friend of hers, was there. Then I asked her several months ago, if she would like me to stay in a local motel if I were to visit. She said I could sleep on her couch. I told her, I didn't want to force the male friend off the couch. That is when she told me is sleeping with the male friend. But she also told me, that she has not had sex since 2003. So, I am thinking FWB w/o sex. I had initially been saving $ for a camera. That my parents' ended up giving me for my birthday. So, I told her about my parents' giving me the camera for my birthday. She asked if I could put the $ towards coming out there to visit. I told her, I was already thinking about that. Communication has been spotty. She says she likes hearing from me, even though she doesn't know what to talk about. When I call, she will also talk to the male friend who is there in her apartment. Sometimes I will chat with her on Facebook, and sometimes on Yahoo Messenger. My original understanding, was that he was staying there because of trouble with his own mother. Since she rents an apartment. For him to be there, as long as he has. He would have had to sign lease with her. Otherwise, She is risking eviction. She told me at one point. That she n' the male friend get along great. There have been times, when she would contact me, after not hearing from me. Sometimes she will call me early in the morning when I haven't called her. This male friend obviously isn't offended by her n' I talking. I guess, when I am finally able to travel out there, I will get all the answers. Until that time, I would like some feedback. Thank in advance Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Feedback on what? How could anyone here have a f'ing clue as to what was going on? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Get the camera. For sure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Get the camera. For sure. Since, I have an old(I think it is old) digital camera that runs' on AA batteries. I might take that. Instead of my new camera. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Feedback on what? How could anyone here have a f'ing clue as to what was going on? You obviously, could care less. Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 You say communication has been spotty. OP what do you actually want from a woman who lives with her fwb? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 You say communication has been spotty. OP what do you actually want from a woman who lives with her fwb? I say spotty because she has contacted me infrequently. Sometimes when I least expect it. As for 'fwb', that is all I can think of to describe the situation with her male friend. Since she said, even though she is sleeping with her friend, there is no sex. She said she hasn't had sex since 2003. I am guessing, apart from her male friend being there. That she may possibly be bashful, or introverted. Regardless of that. If she hasn't had sex since 2003. It does make me wonder about what is actually their true status. She told me last week, they are planning to go to Las Vegas. My guess would be, to gamble. Since they go at least once a week to the casino near her apartment in Los Angeles. She did ask me yesterday if I had ever seen her picture before. I reminded her that I had seen it on her FB page. What I didn't remind her about was. Her FB page is how I found the father of her adult son and told him about not being able to get a hold of her a couple months ago. She was having trouble with her phone at that time. Because, it kept losing a signal. She was very appreciative that I did that for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Guitarisgood Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I am not going to hold back on you buddy because I think you need to hear it to shock this ridiculous notion out of your head. Save that money and spend it on what you want. Don't visit this chick because nothing good will come of it. She has a male friend around whom 'sleeps on the couch'. She 'has not had sex since 2003'. You SERIOUSLY believe that!? Most likely they ARE sleeping together. If you think rocking up their is going to change how she sees you or you're gonna get lucky, you better think again bud. Spotty communication? THAT is a sign she is not interested. A girl who likes you will NOT confuse you. Add talking about another guy? Even if you only see her as just friends, I wouldn't bother. Is it really that hard for you just drop her? This at it's least sounds to me like a one sided friendship. So YOU'RE going hand and foot to see her and tell me what you get out of it? Nothing. And as you drive back home your blue balls are going to be even worse when you catch feelings and she goes back to 'sleeping' with her friend. Mate, even if you're the more quiet nerdy type, get off the computer. Online dating does not work. People only love it so they can hide behind a keyboard too afraid to take a punt on life. Find a hobby and join a local club, meet and make new friends. Get out their in life. Don't waste your money and your time on a dead end. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 You need to flat-out ask her what the deal is. So she and the guy are just friends. But ask her, "Any particular reason why you haven't been dating and having sex?" I mean, you are potential suitor. You have a right to know. She could have physical problems for all you know. She could be in love with a gay guy, too.. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 This entire situation sounds nuts. I think you'd be foolish to spend money to go and visit a woman who has told you she sleeps in the same bed as another man every night. She's never directly sent you a photo of herself, she communicates only sporadically and in conjunction with her male friend...sorry, but she really doesn't even sound interested in you. I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to set you up to scam you out of money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 You need to flat-out ask her what the deal is. So she and the guy are just friends. But ask her, "Any particular reason why you haven't been dating and having sex?" I mean, you are potential suitor. You have a right to know. She could have physical problems for all you know. She could be in love with a gay guy, too.. I wouldn't be abrasively and tactlessly blunt like that. She did tell me her entire med. list the other night. In one way, I wish I hadn't. Because, It is a personal issue for her(not one of great problems, just personal). I am only had one comment about one her meds. Because I had been on it years ago for sleep, and got off of it because of what it could cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Tiger Lily Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I can say pretzel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 This entire situation sounds nuts. I think you'd be foolish to spend money to go and visit a woman who has told you she sleeps in the same bed as another man every night. She's never directly sent you a photo of herself, she communicates only sporadically and in conjunction with her male friend...sorry, but she really doesn't even sound interested in you. I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to set you up to scam you out of money. Ditto. OP, I'm not even sure why you want to meet this woman. Please Google the TV show Catfish and watch some episodes before wasting your money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Ditto. OP, I'm not even sure why you want to meet this woman. Please Google the TV show Catfish and watch some episodes before wasting your money. I stopped watching it. Because, While I understand the premise of the show. About whether someone is genuine or not. It seems like that show feeds on misery for viewership. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I stopped watching it. Because, While I understand the premise of the show. About whether someone is genuine or not. It seems like that show feeds on misery for viewership. Fine. But my point was...after watching it, do you not see any similarities between your situation and theirs? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 I am planning to go visit a woman I met online. She shares a two-bedroom apartment with a guy. They have known each other for thirty years, since they were both 16yrs.-old. She told me that she once asked the guy about 'going steady'. He rebuffed her. I don't know why, but I haven't tried to find that detail out. Recently, When she n' I(she is in CA, I am in MD) were on the phone, she called him a "jack***" to me on the phone. I don't know why she said that, unless it is sort of her response to being rejected. Anyway, The guy has told her several times, that she should have sex with me. I told her, when he recently said that to her again. That I wouldn't force her to have sex with me. She recently had asked me if having sex with was an expectation. Yet, She started taking birth control. That makes me wonder if she wants it, and if it has to do with being rebuffed by the guy. All I want is feedback, TIA Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted October 26, 2015 Author Share Posted October 26, 2015 A woman I have known online for several years. Lives on West Coast of the U.S.. I live on the East Coast. I am saving up $ to fly out there, and for food for the week. She platonically lives with a guy in a two-bedroom apartment. She has known him, since they were in high school. The guy has no romantic interest in her. Because, There was at least once on the phone, where he chewed her out for thinking about hanging up. Just to go somewhere with him. She doesn't like being alone. She did say I could stay at their apartment. She isn't much of a phone talker. The only part that bothers me about that. Is how can she get to know me, in the one week that I would be there? I end up doing most of the talking. When we do talk on the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Spend time together. Ask her Qs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 I think I started a previous thread with this title. Sorry if I did. Well, The woman I am 'interested' in, is nice(we are already friends and she knows I am 'interested' in her). 1. I have asked her, if I have done anything wrong. To which she replies that I haven't. 2. I asked her if she was shy(she doesn't say much on the phone). She said she is not shy. 3. She will call back, if she misses my call. 4. She doesn't say much on the phone. Because she says she doesn't know what to talk about. 5. I even once asked her point blank. Does she have a problem with long-distance relationships. Not presuming we are in one already. But just wondering how she felt about LDRs'. Her response was, that she didn't. I know should could 'just be nice'. So as not to hurt my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 How much distance are we talking about & have you ever met in person? If you never met, and the phone conversations aren't going well, what do you have? Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Moderator note: we have merged a few older threads together for context on the latest post. ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Having read this merged thread, I wonder why you are investing so much in something that is clearly a mess. Did you ever go meet this woman? Her sharing a bed with another guy but trying to date you long distance makes no sense. You being willing to go stay with her makes even less sense. Something is clearly not right about all this. Find somebody local & give up on this woman who seems to only be toying with you when it's convenient for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chris516 Posted April 11, 2016 Author Share Posted April 11, 2016 How much distance are we talking about & have you ever met in person? If you never met, and the phone conversations aren't going well, what do you have? 2,600+mi., the phone conversations are going much better. Moderator note: we have merged a few older threads together for context on the latest post. ~6 Thank you. Sorry for the duplicate thread. Having read this merged thread, I wonder why you are investing so much in something that is clearly a mess. Did you ever go meet this woman? Her sharing a bed with another guy but trying to date you long distance makes no sense. You being willing to go stay with her makes even less sense. Something is clearly not right about all this. Find somebody local & give up on this woman who seems to only be toying with you when it's convenient for her. I haven't met her, yet. My (ex)wife was 'local'. She is my (ex)wife for a reason!! I have found out. She is not sleeping with the guy. Staying with her(sleeping on the couch), saves me the cost of a hotel/motel room. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 I think you'd better start watching "Catfish" again, if for no other reason than to catch the episode that stars you. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 I have found out. She is not sleeping with the guy. Staying with her(sleeping on the couch), saves me the cost of a hotel/motel room. How have you found this out? She was the one who told you it was a 1 BR apartment & he was on the couch. Then they were in the same bed. Now it's a 2 BR apartment. Anything she tells you can't be trusted. Saving the costs of a motel room is penny wise & pound foolish. You would be better off on Hotwire, Priceline (the bidding site) or even airbnb. Link to post Share on other sites
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