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colorinyour

By colorinyour
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colorinyour Member

colorinyour

Posted
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I got out of a four year relationship in January. Met this guy on Match in February, I was on the rebound so clingy and texting him a lot. We had some issues so I stopped contact with him (he kept "inviting me over" which I took issue with since it seemed like her just wanted to hook up). Anyway, I went from texting him everyday to not texting at all, to be clear he would call and text me too, but he stopped when I kept declining invites to come over. Anyway, in a moment of weakness I went back to my ex (we were discussing couples therapy and marriage).

 

I hung out with my ex last weekend, knowing it was wrong. At that time I texted the guy from the dating site, to see if he would reply and I didn't think it was that bad since I was with my ex. Anyway I told him I was back w/ my ex and we were going to get engaged. He was like "lol good luck"

 

That was last Saturday. I did not text him all week. Then Friday I saw he looked at my profile on the dating website. I'm not sure if he just looked because I said I was with my ex or what. Anyway I thought not contacting him is working at getting his interest, so in that theme I did not look at his profile. But, was this the right thing, I'm thinking maybe I should have clicked on his profile to show I'm still interested? I still am interested in him and I stopped talking to my ex. I guess if he is really interested he will text me or something and I killed it last time by coming on too strong so maybe its best just to keep his profile as a no fly zone haha.

katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)

Why would he contact you even if he were interested?

 

You told him you were back together with your ex and getting engaged.

 

Then you don't contact him for a week hoping *that* would spark his interest?

 

Did you forget you told him you were back with your ex and getting engaged?

 

Why do you insist on playing so many head games?

 

I don't mean to sound harsh, but not sure what you are thinking.

 

Who knows why he checked yiur profile, people check profiles all the time it doesn't mean anything.

Edited by katiegrl
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colorinyour Member

colorinyour

Posted
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Posted (edited)

I was only with my ex because I was lonely. I don't have a lot of friends. Me and my ex did go to couples therapy, it only made me realize how unacceptable a lot of my ex's behavior was so it helped motivate me to get away from him.

 

I think him clicking my profile indicates he's interested, at the very least curious.

 

I told him I was with my ex to make him like me more, since I came on so strong....

 

Also I am assuming since he saw me on the dating website he will assume I am single. I suppose that doesn't necessarily mean that. My gut tells me to just leave him alone and he is trouble. But, I am a writer as a hobby and he inspired me a lot in my stories, he reminds me of the guys I would date in college, even if he is a cad.

Edited by colorinyour
katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
I was only with my ex because I was lonely. I don't have a lot of friends. Me and my ex did go to couples therapy, it only made me realize how unacceptable a lot of my ex's behavior was so it helped motivate me to get away from him.

 

I think him clicking my profile indicates he's interested, at the very least curious.

 

I told him I was with my ex to make him like me more, since I came on so strong....

 

I understand why you told him you were back with your ex, again why so many games?

 

Games don't work hun, they usually backfire on those who play them as I suspect it did here.

 

I highly doubt he is going to contact you since he thinks you are back with your ex and getting engaged.

 

He is on line dating, probably multi dating, and he has probably moved on already.

 

Again him looking at your profile means nothing, don't read more into it than what it is. Nothing.

 

You are just out of a four year relationship, spend some time on your own before jumping back into another.

 

I made that mistake, and am paying the price now as I realized I had not fully processed my feelings re the ending of my long term relationship.

 

Best of luck.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted

I'm not sure where your head is at. You told the guy you were back with your ex....any smart guy with a good head on his shoulders would run for the hills. I think you need to work on yourself. Be on your own for awhile, not to sound rude but it doesnt seem like you know what you want anyway, first it was this guy, then its your ex, then its this guy again. Dont play with people. Its not a good look.

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Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
Posted

I'm going to be honest with you from a guy's perspective.

 

So, I meet this girl on a dating site. We go out for months, but she doesn't want to have sex with me. Already I would be moving on.

 

Then she sends me some bizarre text about being engaged to her ex, or something. So now I'm thinking she's a bit unhinged, and unstable - not girlfriend material, and not to be taken seriously.

 

I check her profile, because I still fancy her, and we never did have sex. Ah well, sh*t happens. Maybe she'll send me another weird text sometime asking me to come over to hers... that would be cool.

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Dis Established Member

Dis

Posted
Posted
I'm going to be honest with you from a guy's perspective.

 

So, I meet this girl on a dating site. We go out for months, but she doesn't want to have sex with me. Already I would be moving on.

 

Then she sends me some bizarre text about being engaged to her ex, or something. So now I'm thinking she's a bit unhinged, and unstable - not girlfriend material, and not to be taken seriously.

 

I check her profile, because I still fancy her, and we never did have sex. Ah well, sh*t happens. Maybe she'll send me another weird text sometime asking me to come over to hers... that would be cool.

 

I laughed out loud at this. Jabron1 youre a funny guy and do speak the truth. I like your posts.

 

And ya, hes probably thinking youve got some issues. And guys check profiles all the time, it doesnt mean he misses you. He was probably bored.

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katiegrl Established Member

katiegrl

Posted
Posted (edited)
I'm going to be honest with you from a guy's perspective.

 

So, I meet this girl on a dating site. We go out for months, but she doesn't want to have sex with me. Already I would be moving on.

 

Then she sends me some bizarre text about being engaged to her ex, or something. So now I'm thinking she's a bit unhinged, and unstable - not girlfriend material, and not to be taken seriously.

 

I check her profile, because I still fancy her, and we never did have sex. Ah well, sh*t happens. Maybe she'll send me another weird text sometime asking me to come over to hers... that would be cool.

 

I agree with everything you wrote except him checking her profile meaning he still fancies her.

 

I still check all my ex's Facebook, LinkedIn accounts and profiles ... even guys I dated once or twice many years ago!

 

It is curiosity at most. And like Dis said, boredom. Lol

 

I mean I am sure in some cases, it means the guy still fancies the girl, but I highly doubt it here.

 

The guy was only after booty anyway and when she continued declining his booty call invites, he gave up and stopped contacting her.

Edited by katiegrl
Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
Posted
I laughed out loud at this. Jabron1 youre a funny guy and do speak the truth. I like your posts.

 

And ya, hes probably thinking youve got some issues. And guys check profiles all the time, it doesnt mean he misses you. He was probably bored.

 

I agree with everything you wrote except him checking her profile meaning he still fancies her.

 

I still check all my ex's Facebook, LinkedIn accounts and profiles ... even guys I dated once or twice many years ago!

 

It is curiosity at most. And like Dis said, boredom. Lol

 

I mean I am sure in some cases, it means the guy still fancies the girl, but I highly doubt it here.

 

The guy was only after booty anyway and when she continued declining his booty call invites, he gave up and stopped contacting her.

 

I think that he still wants to get laid. But, any chance of a relationship or him taking this seriously is long gone. Maybe there wasn't a chance to begin with though.

 

OP should move on, if she's looking for something serious.

 

Guarantee he would be around there in a flash, if she sent him a message inviting him around to her place though :D. However, I do not encourage the OP to do this.

 

If there was any chance of a serious relationship, there definitely isn't now.

Robert Established Member

Robert

Posted
Posted (edited)

Temporarily closed for review........sheesh! ~ V

 

Reviewed.............permanently closed ~ V

Edited by Robert
Update ~ V
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