wanting2getitright Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I am a female in a same sex relationship and recently got engaged to this amazing girl who I cannot imagine being without. She is perfect for me, kind, beautiful, we rarely argue, things are wonderful. There is just one issue that i cannot seem to overcome. She used to have a casual sexual relationship with her female best friend and the girl's husband. They had threesomes, and this went on for a while (and obviously ended before we got together). However, they are all still very close friends, and when we first started dating, even before she told me about their past, the way that she used to talk about the girl and show adoration/affection toward her made me very uncomfortable. She does not do those things now that she knows it bothers me, but the damage has already been done. I know that in order to move forward with our relationship, I have to overcome this problem, but I become so consumed with jealousy just at the mention of her name. It doesn't help that my partner becomes incredibly angry and shuts down any time I mention it and how it bothers me, so I have tended to let things build up until I lose it and then we have a huge argument. I need to address and resolve this before getting married, so that it does not do any damage to our relationship because it is eating me up inside. I fear that she still wants to be with them in some way. I know that it is my own insecurities, but the way she handles it does not support or pacify the situation so it hasn't gotten better. Any advice?
mikeylo Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 You are not insecure or jealous.You are normal human being with normal reaction to something like this. She needs to cut off from those people otherwise it will always be a cause of distress and spill into your relationship and scar it forever.
caringsister Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I totally get here you are coming from, but realistically if she wanted to be with her friend she didn't have to get into a relatiionship with you to do it. She got into a relationship with you to be with you. Are you not the one that she lays next to at night? Don't under estimate her love for you. What she had with her friend obviously didn't end on bad terms, but rather I assume because she needed something more, something greater, something deeper, a love all her own and that is what you bring to the table. Don't let anything taint that. Shine girl shine
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