loveiswar101 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 (edited) I'm at a total loss with my life and who I care for! First marriage 10yrs - Wife Cheated 2nd relationship 3 arrears - realize were not compatible Met a woman before xmas who after a while I got way to invested and chased her away. I read understand what I must do but chase like a total loser. What the **** is wrong with me. Im warm loving kind affectionate. At time to much and I know. At 45 is it really worth chasing the dream you will meet some one you connect with. This woman I met for a short time has done a number on me, I know she not great for me but it VERY rare I meet someone I like. Got well to invested and needy and have totally messed chance for connection. I would give ANYTHING or another chance with this woman, Why bother from here in, could take months or years before I meet another girl I like. someone please tell me a reason for all off this. Life is so draining yet I still try, gym, eat well, work hard, average looking but what does that matter, I just want A CHANCE IN THIS WORLD, but when it comes to it, i feel Im useless and messed it up again, not once twice and more.. Just ranting. Not COPING. Edited April 9, 2016 by loveiswar101 2
Frank13 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I found it is not worth chasing the dream. Relationships and people are complicated. One day someone wakes up and suddenly they don't love the other person anymore. You either have to leave and hurt someone or they leave and you get hurt. This doesn't happen if you never get involved. As an older person I can tell you this stuff about finding the right one eventually or that there is someone out there for you is not true. More than likely most people will never find the one. I have given up on it. It isn't worth all the hassle. 2
TimmyC Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 As someone very wise on here once told me, there is no such thing as the one. Don't be discouraged. Your main issue may be expectation and codependency. These are the two things I currently struggle with. I promise you will find someone else, and I know you hate to hear this and you may have heard it hundreds of times but it's the truth: you have to work on yourself. You can't be afraid to be alone for a bit. When you do find the one remember not to have high expectations. From my experience this is what chases people away, because the one thing we as humans don't want to feel in a relationship is that we are a burdon. Keep working on yourself, and don't loose hope. I know it may seem silly taking advice from a 23 year old like myself but trust me there's plenty of fish in the sea. I looked down the barrel of a .45 two weeks ago because I felt this same way. But when I started focusing on myself and getting positive influence I started feeling better. I even started saving up for my dream car. Do what makes you happy, and then THAT is what will attract the right person. A smile is more attractive than a frown remember that! 2
Heatemyheart89 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I think you should bother for yourself. Make you happy and you don't know who you will meet. Could be anywhere anytime. 2
Author loveiswar101 Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 As someone very wise on here once told me, there is no such thing as the one. I know this! I'm just at the point of really slipping back to a dark place again. I really messed up getting to invested in this woman. I just want it all to stop, early she showed so much interest and I thought YES ive met someone I actually like. Then no more because I shown to much interest my end, I just get way to involved and cant stop. Guess desperation comes across', fed up of messing everything up, Im just fed up of being alone. All my friends say one day. I'm running out of years.. Thanks for replies 1
Hoosfoos Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Throw in the towel, that's what I say. I'm 45 and pretty much done also. 1
Frank13 Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 Throw in the towel, that's what I say. I'm 45 and pretty much done also. Yeah people in their 20s and 30s think they will find the one. If they break up people tell them it wasn't meant to be and that they will meet the right one. The fact of the matter is the most likely won't. There are no guarantees. Everything ends. Not with it.
JuanDelToro Posted April 13, 2016 Posted April 13, 2016 I wouldn`t advise to `throw in the towel` but you should change your intentions and aim to find happiness for yourself. Focus in achieving personal goals, finding your purpose in life whatever that might be, spiritual, financial, physical etc. doing the things that fulfill you. That approach will grant you with clarity, the ability to make better decisions in romantic relationships as well and it`ll attract the right people to you that fit well within your path. These individuals inevitably will appear in your life, have faith. I`m not sure of your age, i`m guessing you`re in your late 30s early 40s? But anyways, you should consider the fact that men are late bloomers. Life gets much better for men after 40 and wont slow down for at least another 25 years, as long as they are true to their mission. 1
neowulf Posted April 14, 2016 Posted April 14, 2016 In the end, when things get hard, I like to remind myself of this. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. If you give up, you're done. There's no longer hope. So long sa you're alive and striving for what you want, there's a chance you can find what you want. Only you can decide if being happy is worth the struggle. Only you can decide if it's time to "throw in the towel". But love is worth it. Connection is worth it. It's hard to find, even harder to keep. But I wouldn't trade a day of those experiences. Don't give up. 1
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