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Boyfriend asked for space - how long should I give?!


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Posted
Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. My brain needed that extra push because it has been taking a backseat to my emotions.

 

I have ended it with him.

 

I know that I will be okay and that it was the best decision, without a doubt. But I am still heartbroken. :(

Meh. You spent a year and 3 months with him - and those last 3 months were spent with you grimly hanging onto him while he told you he needed 'space' and was REALLY doing God knows what.

 

I'm thinking he was keeping you around as Plan B in case whatever he was doing didn't work out of him.

 

You live and learn. Next time, don't let anyone disrespect you like that. Least of all, yourself.

Posted

He wanted "Space" sounds like he wanted to go exploring. Give him all the "Space" he needs and dump him.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

You all were right. He was cheating with multiple women. Not only that, but he has an ex wife and child that I never knew existed.

 

I feel like a f****** idiot.

Posted
You all were right. He was cheating with multiple women. Not only that, but he has an ex wife and child that I never knew existed.

 

I feel like a f****** idiot.

 

Oh dear.

 

I'm so sorry, OP. How did you discover all of this?

Posted
You all were right. He was cheating with multiple women. Not only that, but he has an ex wife and child that I never knew existed.

 

I feel like a f****** idiot.

 

Oh hun I'm so sorry! :(

 

Pls dont feel like an idiot hun...this whole mess is a reflection of his character...not yours!

 

Guys like this prey on open, honest, trustworthy women. He took advantage of your kind heart...again, thats on him

 

I know this probably hurts so much...take time to process things and be kind to yourself

 

But whatever you do...dont blame yourself...this is not your fault

 

Best of luck to you hun...this too shall pass! :D

Posted
You all were right. He was cheating with multiple women. Not only that, but he has an ex wife and child that I never knew existed.

 

I feel like a f****** idiot.

Not surprised. I knew it was more than 'stress and working too hard.'

 

Thankfully, you only wasted a year and 3 months on this POS.

  • Author
Posted
Oh dear.

 

I'm so sorry, OP. How did you discover all of this?

 

Thank you.

 

His brother is visiting and he told me. I am thankful for it. But pretty numb.

  • Author
Posted
Not surprised. I knew it was more than 'stress and working too hard.'

 

Thankfully, you only wasted a year and 3 months on this POS.

 

 

POS indeed. It takes a special kind of coward to act like this

  • Like 1
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Posted
Oh hun I'm so sorry! :(

 

Pls dont feel like an idiot hun...this whole mess is a reflection of his character...not yours!

 

Guys like this prey on open, honest, trustworthy women. He took advantage of your kind heart...again, thats on him

 

I know this probably hurts so much...take time to process things and be kind to yourself

 

But whatever you do...dont blame yourself...this is not your fault

 

Best of luck to you hun...this too shall pass! :D

 

Thank you for your kind words. It is hard not to blame myself right now... just blinded by hurt

  • Author
Posted

And I am sooooo angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

so sorry to hear this but it rings true.

 

My Ex started the too stressed out and need space...its not you its me. But we would still talk each day...I understood her stress and helped her. I should have seen a red flag, but didnt know her as well nor her pattern. We continued for a month....then she went colder and asked for space again..I went on a vacation, came back and we talked some, but then wanted more space...I texted the next night asking if her day was better etc..she snapped at me. Come to find out she had other issues with me and would never say them and still hasnt. I had to hear thru a mutual friend. It shocked me as she 'broke up' by asking for space but she had asked for space over a month ago...so it shook me to think she had lost interest so long ago and maybe was trying or was a stringing me along...makes me feel sooooo stupid and I sympathize with you.

 

Learn and move on is all we can do.

 

The space deal is a deal breaker for me now. Either pull me in and help with your stress or goodbye.

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