Wanting relationship

[Naveen2016]

I'm a lonely guy who has never dated a girl in my life. I don't have any friends im 31. I live wit my parents and now they are asking me to get married to an Indian girl. They are putting a lot of pressure on me along wit my colleagues in the work place. I don't like Indian girls. I never have. I always fantasized about white girls from the age of 12 and I can't imagine sleeping with any other race except maybe middle eastern women. I got a PR to Australia recently. So is it possible for me to go there and start a new life and try to date white girls? or am i too old and too messed up to start over? am I wasting my time because I'm Indian and I have heard people say that Indians don't get any respect in the west and they are treated like garbage by white girls.

[Fruitee]

Well start by not marrying someone who you dont love. Then travel first and see if the rumours are true. Move to Australia if thats your dream. Dont let friends and family dictate your life. If things dont work out you can always go back home. Or live in Australia with Indian woman. Take a chance.

[contel3]

You are in no way too old to start over. Go for it.

 

In regards to dating there are several things to consider. It IS true that Indian guys can have a hard time with white girls. You can improve your chances significantly though if you try to act and look more "western".

 

I know several Indian guys who have had long term relationships with white women.

[Naveen2016]

You are in no way too old to start over. Go for it.

 

In regards to dating there are several things to consider. It IS true that Indian guys can have a hard time with white girls. You can improve your chances significantly though if you try to act and look more "western".

 

I know several Indian guys who have had long term relationships with white women.

 

 

thanks guys for your advice...any specific tips in terms of how i can meet more white women...like be a dj or something?

[ses]

First, don't fetishize white women. It's okay to have a preference and be attracted to a certain type but remember to treat everyone as an individual. Interracial relationships are common throughout the West, and I know of several couples who are white and Indian. You're never too old to have a relationship so don't feel like you have to settle right now. Don't marry to please your parents because you'll end up miserable and unhappy. This woman doesn't deserve that heartache.

[MachineGunFunk]

Nope, not too old. I can't really answer why you haven't dated a girl, maybe its probably because you have a thing for white girls.

[Naveen2016]

First, don't fetishize white women. It's okay to have a preference and be attracted to a certain type but remember to treat everyone as an individual. Interracial relationships are common throughout the West, and I know of several couples who are white and Indian. You're never too old to have a relationship so don't feel like you have to settle right now. Don't marry to please your parents because you'll end up miserable and unhappy. This woman doesn't deserve that heartache.

 

Thanks man..this is a great forum. no negativity and hate based on my race.

[Gaeta]

Have you ever been out of your country?

 

Have you traveled abroad to western world?

 

Have you been friends or colleagues to white women before?

 

You have a fetish for white women but it doesn't mean you'd like them at all. Western women are nothing like the women you are used to in your country.

 

Then you have to think of the consequences of marrying out of your culture. Will you have negative consequences from your family? will your family recognize your wife? will your family recognize your children or they will disown them?

 

If you are 31 and have never had a girlfriend, how do you know you don't like Indian women if you have never dated one? If you have never had sex with one how do you know they don't turn you on.

 

The truth is yes it's harder for Indian men to date in western world. We have threads on here often from Indian men venting on how difficult it is.

 

You know, I like rock stars, I find them sexy and exciting, doesn't mean I should marry one.

[Naveen2016]

Have you ever been out of your country?

 

Have you traveled abroad to western world?

 

Have you been friends or colleagues to white women before?

 

You have a fetish for white women but it doesn't mean you'd like them at all. Western women are nothing like the women you are used to in your country.

 

Then you have to think of the consequences of marrying out of your culture. Will you have negative consequences from your family? will your family recognize your wife? will your family recognize your children or they will disown them?

 

If you are 31 and have never had a girlfriend, how do you know you don't like Indian women if you have never dated one? If you have never had sex with one how do you know they don't turn you on.

 

The truth is yes it's harder for Indian men to date in western world. We have threads on here often from Indian men venting on how difficult it is.

 

You know, I like rock stars, I find them sexy and exciting, doesn't mean I should marry one.

 

 

I know where you are goin with this. Its something many white people advice me to do. Stay with your own group while they don't stay with their own group and go around dating philipinos and thai and whatever else.

My family is not caught up with a superficial show of religion like many of the western families. We don't have the concept of hating on the infidels or heathens or pagans or anything like that. We see people as people and are willing to accept anyone if they are decent and don't come around to our living room to challenge or question our beliefs. We don't walk around acting like our religion or race is superior to others even though it probably is many ways which is why yoga and meditation is spreading like wildfire in the west. We don't unnecessary show other people that we are extremely religious even though we are. We accept the different races of people and are not bigoted. We don't have this western concept that the world is only made for me or my race...let everyone else go to hell. We are taught to accept (not just tolerate and hate) that there are other races of people in this world with different beliefs. So yes my family would be willing to accept and I also understand why Indians have dating issues in the western world. Its because of the reasons I mentioned in this post.

[Fruitee]

All relationships have problems and difficulties. Interracial relationships are no different from that. Also some people are racist. So you need to be ready to face that. Other wise your plan is doomed beforw it starts.

 

I would suggest dating and travelling. Date all kinds of women to collect experiences and to find out what you like and what you dont like.

[elaine567]

I know where you are goin with this. Its something many white people advice me to do. Stay with your own group while they don't stay with their own group and go around dating philipinos and thai and whatever else.

 

I do not think you should "stay with your own group", but you have to be realistic in your perception of "white" women, who they are, what they think, what their expectations are. They are not just one big homogeneous group either.

You will actually have meet some of these "white" women and get to know them and decide whether or not you do actually like some of them as real people and whether they will like you in return. Until then all your "dreams" are pie in the sky.

There is a lot more to a relationship than just sleeping with a woman and immediate physical attraction, as some men have found out to their cost.

I do not think you should marry this Indian girl especially if your parents will not force you to do so and you will not cause WW111 in your family if you don't marry her.

Going to Australia will broaden your horizons and get you closer to the "white" women you seek.

[Fruitee]

^ What she said. Even myself and my best friends are all totally different from each other. Yes we are all white women but have our own ideas and personalities, likes and dislikes. We like totally different type of guys too.

[Omes1]

I think the notion that Indian guys can't get white girls to go out with them is a little bit outdated. I saw that a while back maybe in the early 00s where it was just assumed that white western girls preferred white and black guys. However, I live in a VERY multicultural city and I see Indian guys of all ages with white women. Some even have kids/a family together. Most of them are or have been in long term relationships too.

 

Like the post said above though these Indian guys you see with white girls are the VERY westernized ones who are into maybe things like the alternative rock scene or some type of geeky hobby/interest. Mainly the other type of Indian guys I see with white girls are the ones who are into rap/hip hop/street culture. Although like I said I even know of older Indian guys in their 40s and 50s who are married to white women.

[Emilia]

I know where you are goin with this. Its something many white people advice me to do. Stay with your own group while they don't stay with their own group and go around dating philipinos and thai and whatever else.

My family is not caught up with a superficial show of religion like many of the western families. We don't have the concept of hating on the infidels or heathens or pagans or anything like that. We see people as people and are willing to accept anyone if they are decent and don't come around to our living room to challenge or question our beliefs. We don't walk around acting like our religion or race is superior to others even though it probably is many ways which is why yoga and meditation is spreading like wildfire in the west. We don't unnecessary show other people that we are extremely religious even though we are. We accept the different races of people and are not bigoted. We don't have this western concept that the world is only made for me or my race...let everyone else go to hell. We are taught to accept (not just tolerate and hate) that there are other races of people in this world with different beliefs. So yes my family would be willing to accept and I also understand why Indians have dating issues in the western world. Its because of the reasons I mentioned in this post.

 

That's the thing, you DON'T know where Gaeta was going with this because you have fantasy about white women. We aren't like the blonde porn chicks you see in the movies, you would struggle to have a conversation with one. Not because you are inferior but because your culture is different

 

I travelled some in South Asia and dated Indian men that live in the UK - though they weren't born here. There are exceptions but their view of women is quite patronising compared to how most Western men see us. Western women are more direct, we still aren't as direct as men but we don't rely on scheming and manipulation like Asian or African women do because they have no real power.

 

Indian/Asian men often struggle with this. They aren't prepared dealing with less submissive women. They think white woman means blow jobs, they don't realise that a white woman will also dump you after she had sex with you if she didn't like it.

 

We are harder to please than your women. Our expectations are higher because we have more options.

[Emilia]

I would also add that your life experience romantically at the age of 31 equals that of a 15 year-old Western girl's.

[Jabron1]

I'm Indian and I have heard people say that Indians don't get any respect in the west and they are treated like garbage by white girls.

 

This is complete nonsense. One of my oldest friends is Indian, and he's always been good with women.

 

You have a serious chip on your shoulder regarding race that you need to get over.

[Naveen2016]

That's the thing, you DON'T know where Gaeta was going with this because you have fantasy about white women. We aren't like the blonde porn chicks you see in the movies, you would struggle to have a conversation with one. Not because you are inferior but because your culture is different

 

I travelled some in South Asia and dated Indian men that live in the UK - though they weren't born here. There are exceptions but their view of women is quite patronising compared to how most Western men see us. Western women are more direct, we still aren't as direct as men but we don't rely on scheming and manipulation like Asian or African women do because they have no real power.

 

Indian/Asian men often struggle with this. They aren't prepared dealing with less submissive women. They think white woman means blow jobs, they don't realise that a white woman will also dump you after she had sex with you if she didn't like it.

 

We are harder to please than your women. Our expectations are higher because we have more options.

 

 

Thanks elaine and fruitee for your responses. As for Emilia...your attitudes are exactly what i talked bout in my earlier post. You cannot accuse Asian men of having patronizing views towards women without you having patronizing views yourself towards Asian men.

White women are direct ...asian and african women are manipulative....please lol. We are not living in 17th century medieval England.

 

And I'm not buying your cultural similarity arguments either. I don't see a cultural similarity between white men and asian women and yet you see this particular combination all the time. i have travelled to many places and i have noticed this trend. Or is it because they both watch a lot of porno and asian women are lookin for a big white monster and white men are looking for a young submissive asian lolita?

And trying to belittle me for my lack of dating experience is not going to make your life better in anyway. At least i don't have a lot of STD's like many people in the west who have gone for a hundred dates.

[Fruitee]

Imho it is better not to make any type of generalisations or assumptions of any type of people. Whether they are women or men or black or white or asian or latin or whatever. I believe in individuality. I have met lot of people around the world. With some I get along just fine with some not at all. It all depends on the person. Of course cultural back group affects on how we see things and react to things. For example I am not as chatty as my African friend or have as good manners as my Vietnamese friend or have as good small talk skills as my British friend. But we get a long just fine.

[Emilia]

A lot of Western men date women from the third world because their own women won't give them the time of the day. Notice how I am talking about cultural differences, not racial. There is very often a big difference in power to the men's favour.

 

The fact is that I have lived on 3 different continents, have dated different ethnicities and live in one of the most diverse cities in the world. You have none of these experiences and you are the one that fetishises certain women here, not me.

 

As for mocking your sexual inexperience: it's how it is I'm afraid. Australian society is egalitarian, the women do men's jobs. They don't respect the fact that your mother is still trying to tell you what to do or that you don't know where the clitoris is. You would be competing with men who understand these women.

 

The people telling you how these things don't matter are men. They are not the ones you are looking to date. A Western woman will think straight away that you are after her passport and that you just want sexual experience because you come from a repressed culture.

 

Sorry but you wanted views.

[Fruitee]

^ I have to disagree bit. Not ALL women will think thay foreigner is after passport or sexual experiences.

[elaine567]

A lot of Western men date women from the third world because their own women won't give them the time of the day. Notice how I am talking about cultural differences, not racial. There is very often a big difference in power to the men's favour.

Agreed and because of the big difference in attitudes to extended family.

One poor Asian girl, I know of in the UK, got married to this guy in his 50s. I guess some sort of mail order arrangement but I am not sure.

After they had kids, he moved his elderly mother and aunt into their house so she had to look after young kids and two very demanding and sick elderly relatives too... she was exhausted. It was just an abuse of her kind and fairly submissive nature. He was not particularly pleasant to her either. Horrible.

He would never have found a normal Western woman to put up with that for any length of time.

[Fruitee]

To be fair there are also western women using 3rd world guys in same manner as well...

[Jabron1]

A lot of Western men date women from the third world because their own women won't give them the time of the day.

 

Not as simple as that.

 

I know two people that have married women from different cultures - for the specific reason that they thought these women would make better wives, and make for a better marriage. It's not my thing (marriage doesn't interest me), but they have both been proven right at 12 years, and 4 years respectively. Both these guys are high value men (very high value in one case), with plenty of options, who chose something other than what they were being offered here - as is their prerogative.

 

Just lazy to write it off as 'can't get laid in their own country', or whatever.

[Fruitee]

^ Also bit of racist to say that "cannot get laid within own race".

 

But truth is also that in same cases people may be able to get for example younger or better looking partner outside their own country. If something like that is the most important factor for a person. It is kind of like buying a furniture. Still there are people who are not very lucky and are willing to do anything to survive.

 

But people also genuinly fall in love out side their country or culture or race. And people have different types of preferences. I could get quite easily guy from any culture or country or race or whatever. I seem to be liking to many different guys. But I do have my own preferences. And some people think it is because I cant get anyone else. Well not true. Also dont matter what others think.

 

But making assumptions is always bad even sometimes they are true.

[Naveen2016]

A lot of Western men date women from the third world because their own women won't give them the time of the day. Notice how I am talking about cultural differences, not racial. There is very often a big difference in power to the men's favour.

 

The fact is that I have lived on 3 different continents, have dated different ethnicities and live in one of the most diverse cities in the world. You have none of these experiences and you are the one that fetishises certain women here, not me.

 

As for mocking your sexual inexperience: it's how it is I'm afraid. Australian society is egalitarian, the women do men's jobs. They don't respect the fact that your mother is still trying to tell you what to do or that you don't know where the clitoris is. You would be competing with men who understand these women.

 

The people telling you how these things don't matter are men. They are not the ones you are looking to date. A Western woman will think straight away that you are after her passport and that you just want sexual experience because you come from a repressed culture.

 

Sorry but you wanted views.

 

 

firstly just because you have traveled a lot more doesn't mean your bigotry is going to change or you will be less judgemental. Secondly you don't need to think for all white women. That might be the way you see things but you don't need to speak for every western woman on this planet. I will make sure to keep a safe distance from your types and I will normally figure that out from the first few minutes of interaction. thirdly i'm not revealing all my potential interests about my whole life story because I will be there all by myself without my family...i don't need to explain to women what i was doing for all these years and who i have dated and who i havent,what i have done in bed etc. I also wouldn't respect women like you who might have been through a thousand different men and call it women's liberation or feminism or whatever. So yea respect is a two way street.