Roesie Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 He basically said he's done texting when out he's partying to save himself the embarassment of seeing who he texted and what he texted the next morning. And that of 'anyone' me reads a text from him to not reply bc they missed out and he doesn't fee the same anymore. We've been hooking up for almost two years, we r each other's go to for hooking up. It's been 2 wks since we've been together. When I saw his status I'm not gonna lie it stung. Why even post that? I know I'm the person he does it with. There's more to story but this is a summed up version of the situation at hand. Should I confront him or n0t? I feel like I need to block delete and move on, bc he made me look and feel pretty cheap by saying what he said on FB for all my friends as well as his to see. 1
Emilia Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Translation to English would be helpful. The original post makes no sense. 8
Author Roesie Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 He basically said he's done texting his FWB (me) when out he's partying to save himself the embarassment if anyone(me) recieves a late night wknd text from him in the morning. He asked to please disregard it bc they missed out and he the next day he wont feel the same as he did in the moment.0 We've been hooking up for almost two years, we are each other's go to for hooking up. It's been 2 wks since we've been together. When I saw his status I'm not gonna lie, it stung. Definitely know his msg was directed to me. Why even post something that? I know I'm the person he's hooking up. There's more to story but this is a summed up version of the situation at hand. Should I confront him or n0t? I feel like I need to block delete and move on, bc he made me look and feel pretty cheap by saying what he said on FB for all my friends as well as his to see. 1
elaine567 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 He basically said he's done texting his FWB (me) when out he's partying to save himself the embarassment if anyone(me) recieves a late night wknd text from him in the morning. He asked to please disregard it bc they missed out and he the next day he wont feel the same as he did in the moment.0 OK so what is he texting late at night to you, that he would be embarrassed about in the morning? Of course his FB post may be a message to some other girl he texts late at night have you considered that? 7
spriggan2 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Well I'll tell ya, I only have a shred of an idea as to what you're on about here, but yes block delete and move on sounds right, if only for the fact that he's using FB status updates to communicate issues with you. Sounds like you already know what you've got to do. Sorry you got hurt. 3
Author Roesie Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 OK so what is he texting late at night to you, that he would be embarrassed about in the morning? Of course his FB post may be a message to some other girl he texts late at night have you considered that? Usually asking me if i want to go meet up with him wherever he's at, then go back home with him. Thing is, a couple weeks ago, he called to see what my plans were for the night and told him I was out of town. I fell asleep around midnight and randomly woke up 4am. My phone was on silent, but i saw his name on caller ID so I answered. He asked me when I was coming back and what city I was in. When we hung up, I saw he had called me 4 times before that and i had 5 short text msgs from him as well. He called me the next day around noon saying he was embarrassed he called me so many times and he was sorry. I kind of laughed it off and teasingly said I wasn't surprised. We ended the convo with plans to see each the coming up week. 1
Timshel Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 (edited) Soooo no problem then. You are having sex with a guy with no relationship and no love. O.k., you two sure do like each other bunches. He can call you whenever he wants, post whatever he wants to FB and I hope that you can do the same. When one or both of you fall in love with someone else and want to have a 'real' relationship, case closed. What is the problem? Edited April 9, 2016 by Timshel 5
Author Roesie Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 Soooo no problem then. You are having sex with a guy with no relationship and no love. O.k., you two sure do like each other bunches. He can call you whenever he wants, post whatever he wants to FB and I hope that you can do the same. When one or both of you fall in love with someone else and want to have a 'real' relationship, case closed. What is the problem? I feel like he basically told everyone that knows of our situation, ohh you know, that he unlimately regrets most of our hooks over the last 2 years. It was a low blow towards me & came out of left field. 1
Satu Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 This might be a good time to end this loveless 'arrangement,' and move onto something better. 7
Timshel Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I feel like he basically told everyone that knows of our situation, ohh you know, that he unlimately regrets most of our hooks over the last 2 years. It was a low blow towards me & came out of left field. It did not come out of left field. It is what you signed up for....no loyalty, no respect...nothing. I am sorry that you are hurt. Be straightforward and lose the games. If you want love....give it and expect it in return. If you want a F**k buddy, then be a F**k buddy and don't whine about it. Two years. You are right, that is a low blow. 3
Fruitee Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 So how does everyone in fb know about your hook ups? If youre having fwb with someone then others shouldnt even be aware of it. 4
ExpatInItaly Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 It sounds like this arrangement isn't a good idea anymore. And I agree with another poster that his status update could have been directed at someone else. It might not be about you at all. 1
ASG Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 It did not come out of left field. It is what you signed up for....no loyalty, no respect...nothing. I am sorry that you are hurt. Be straightforward and lose the games. If you want love....give it and expect it in return. If you want a F**k buddy, then be a F**k buddy and don't whine about it. Two years. You are right, that is a low blow. FWB doesn't mean no respect!!! Just because things aren't serious doesn't mean you don't respect the other person. You should!!! In FWB there is no exclusivity, and no romantic feelings, but everything else should be there. It is an interpersonal relationship. Those imply at least some respect. The fact that there's sex without string attached does not maen there isn't! 3
iphone_user1 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Two years of FWB relationship? How do you achieve it that long? 2
Timshel Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 FWB doesn't mean no respect!!! Just because things aren't serious doesn't mean you don't respect the other person. You should!!! In FWB there is no exclusivity, and no romantic feelings, but everything else should be there. It is an interpersonal relationship. Those imply at least some respect. The fact that there's sex without string attached does not maen there isn't! K ASG, I just don't get the fwb, fb, casual thing. It works for you. 1
Emilia Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Two years of FWB relationship? How do you achieve it that long? Denial __________ 1
Fruitee Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 ^ Or low self esteem. Not thinking the person deserves something better. Lack of boundaries. Unrealistic expectations. 2
Buddhist Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Two years of FWB relationship? How do you achieve it that long? Maybe she was hoping for it to evolve into something more. Being pissed about his Fb update is kind of an indicator that would be a possibility. Bottom line though, it sounds like this arrangement of hers has been stopping her from finding a real relationship. It's less a gap filler and more a time waster by the sounds of things. 3
kendahke Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 FWB doesn't mean no respect!!! Just because things aren't serious doesn't mean you don't respect the other person. You should!!! shoulda woulda coulda... in the end, FWB doesn't equate loyalty. If you get into FWB's expecting the same considerations a SO would get, then you're in the wrong set up. Any relationship due to its definition remains hidden, respect isn't going to be high on the list of things you should expect.
ASG Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 shoulda woulda coulda... in the end, FWB doesn't equate loyalty. If you get into FWB's expecting the same considerations a SO would get, then you're in the wrong set up. Any relationship due to its definition remains hidden, respect isn't going to be high on the list of things you should expect. No, not the same considerations an SO would get. But the same consideration as friend, or even acquaintance would! Which in my world means there is some respect. Why do people think that, if it involves sex, but with no commitment, treating the other person like **** is fair game? It's not. I respect my friends and acquaintances. Why shouldn't I expect the same from someone else?
Yookie Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 He basically said he's done texting when out he's partying to save himself the embarassment of seeing who he texted and what he texted the next morning. And that of 'anyone' me reads a text from him to not reply bc they missed out and he doesn't fee the same anymore. We've been hooking up for almost two years, we r each other's go to for hooking up. It's been 2 wks since we've been together. When I saw his status I'm not gonna lie it stung. Why even post that? I know I'm the person he does it with. There's more to story but this is a summed up version of the situation at hand. Should I confront him or n0t? I feel like I need to block delete and move on, bc he made me look and feel pretty cheap by saying what he said on FB for all my friends as well as his to see. I feel like you need to block delete and move on because: 1. He made himself look like an idiot who sends out a lot of drunken texts and then regrets it the next day. Maybe he needs to stop drinking so much? This message wasn't for you specifically... it was for ALL of his F-buddies on rotation. 2. You are way too invested in this FWB situation because you care too much about how he feels and about how your friends view your relationship with him. 3. You've wasted two years on this guy when you could have been focusing your time and energy on more fruitful endeavors (romantic or otherwise).
Robert Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Folks, this isn't a FWB debate. Please post to the threadstarter's specific situation. Thank you. ~6 1
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