bathtub-row Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 You've been hitting him, and now you've cheated on him. I agree with this. Man, woman, or child -- you don't get to hit others. And when you do, don't be surprised when you get hit back. 2
sorano Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 He shouldn't have hit you. But what you did was stupid.
jen1447 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 He said he would tell my parents I do drugs or have tried them. He said now that he can't protect me anymore, he wants to move everything he knows onto my parents so that they can deal with me. I'm also assuming he will threaten to release nude pics/videos and who knows what else he has against me. Also, due to my past experiences, my parents will believe everything he say and nothing I say, so I can't say "he's lying" if he actually does do something about it. The thing I'm trying to do is to get him to calm down so he can leave peacefully. Looking at this post, it looks like first and foremost you have a credibility problem. It really has nothing to do with your ex tho. But still, you should make some effort to rebuild or establish your credibility with your parents. No offense but I have a feeling that's gonna involve growing up more than anything else. Adults don't obsess over what they're parents might think of sth bc ultimately it won't affect them in any fundamental way. They're independent, both emotionally and practically (financially, etc.). As to the actual threats, meh. Usually this stuff is just big talk and it never happens, but let's say it does. - Tells your parents you've tried drugs or do drugs - oh well. What's the worst that can happen, your parents will yell at you? (Do you actually do drugs btw?) - Releases nude videos/pictures of you - you'll just have to own that, if you were reckless enough to make videos or take pictures with a loose canon type guy like this. It's not such a big deal - there are only like millions of ppl with that kinda stuff loose on the internet now anyway, and no one really cares anymore beyond an idle curiosity. It's not like Larry Flint's gonna run your video 24/7 on his home page. The bigger point is you never negotiate with terrorists. You let them do their worst and don't flinch, and then naturally all their power goes away when they see that their petty little maneuvers didn't rattle you or the world. 1
Chi townD Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 Wow....you have a really hard time seeing how toxic this relationship really is. I mean, you are totally abhorred that he hit you. And you would be right. He shouldn't have! But heat of the moment of your betrayal and he did something completely out of character. But, before that incident, you tend to gloss over the fact that YOU beat on HIM several times! Pot, kettle, black mean anything to you? And now you're not worried about the pain you caused him, you just want him to calm down so he doesn't expose your past behaviors. This is just too toxic. Just walk away and leave this guy alone. The more you're in his face the more angry he's going to get and then he WILL expose you. So, just think, out of sight, out of mind. THAT'S how he's going to calm down. 1
jasmineb Posted April 11, 2016 Posted April 11, 2016 He has already shunned me. He told me there is no way we will ever work, however he began threatening me saying I won't be able to do anything in my life after he reveals everything...? Don't know what he has in mind but this is troublesome. I guess my question now is, how do I make him stop threatening me? How can I turn the situation so that he is less bitter? And so we can have a clean breakup with no hard feelings.... Let me first say that hitting and choking you was not right. Period. However, there are no good answers to the questions you pose. The second you chose to cheat with your old boyfriend, all of the "what ifs" surrounding your BF finding out got taken out of your hands. Every time you sent a naked picture, you were risking someone besides him seeing it. There is no clean breakup....the cheating and violence and threats have made it a mess. The best you can do is stop lying, own you behavior, walk away, and get good legal advice on revenge porn and cyber harassment and such.
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