4givrnt4gtr Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 So, this isn't really all that serious and Im sure Ill talk to my husband about it but in the two years we've been married we haven't ran into this before and now I dont know what to do. First off, I dont necessarily have many friends. Actually, before these two girls I met at my current job, I only really had one and a few aquaintances. My husband always kept telling me to go out with my girlfriends or rather bring them over to our place to hang out. I never did because the girls I was hanging out with then were more aquaintances/coworkers than friends, plus I hate to entertain at home (Ill go to a restaurant or anywhere else before worrying about making sure everyone is having fun at home!). Anyway, so now I met these two girls at work who are really awesome. I go out with them every once in a while after work when my husband is working. Now, ever since I started dating my husband I tend to choose spending time with him over anyone else when we are both free. So that means that if they want to do something and my husband is home, I either decline or invite him along (one of the girls is married as well and we both bring our husbands who get along but aren't really friends). So this morning one of my girlfriends told me she, her husband, my other friend and my friend's daughter are going to this really awesome tourist attraction that is about 2 hours away from our city tomorrow morning. THey asked if my husband and I would like to come. Now, my husband works in the evening and initially I thought we could make it work, but then thinking more about it, it would mean he would have to drive 3 hours to work. My girlfriend asked if he could take the day off (the place is THAT fun and worth it!) but when I asked he said he probably couldnt. Now....this is the dylema. We usually spend Saturday mornings at home together (the only morning we really have together in general). I am debating whether I want to go with my girlfriend and leave him home alone or skip it and stay home with him. This feels so silly, but I really would hate for him to think I prefer them over him....I just hardly ever get to do anything fun (I work crazy hours) and this little day trip sounds so awesome. Also, like I said I dont really have many friends and I really would like to continue building my friendship with these girls. We are about to leave in a couple of months and I know I probably won't be seeing them again for the forseable future. Yet I feel so bad leaving him behind..... What do most married couples do in a situation like this? Do you leave your spouse alone at home to go off and have a good time with your friends or do you stay home and skip the event?
purplesorrow Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Have you discussed your feelings with your husband? That would be the first step. If you are not making it a habit to always forgo your time with your husband, I don't think once is being neglectful. Talk to your husband.
Trishern Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Personally, I wouldn't go. I'd wait until he was on a day off and go to that place with him. Mrs T
mikeylo Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 Every relationship is unique.What works for one may be completely off for another and vice vers.
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I agree with whoever said every couple has to find their own path. For me, I probably wouldn't go on such short notice but if I had been able to give DH a heads up, I may have gone. This year DH & I will be taking separate trips for the 1st time. All my sorority sisters decided to do something just the girls for the decade changing birthday. A reunion I usually attend with DH got moved to the week before my trip instead of 2 months earlier when it usually is & I can't take two weeks off in a row So separate trips here we come. As much as I'll miss him with both realize those trips are more about reconnecting with our old friends then getting into trouble so it should be OK. 1
Poutrew Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 The problem isn't this one time. It is what happens if this comes up again and again. Say your hubby has no problem with you going alone. You have a real blast. You liked going, and really don't mind leaving hubby home alone. Then it happens again a few months later and now it is easier to go, and you feel less guilty. Then it happens again... and now you not only don't mind leaving hubby alone, but you look forward to being your own women and in charge, because after all, you deserve to have a little fun... eventually you leave for overnighters... then, say in 5 years, it evolves into leaving for regular girls night outs with your many pals, and you start hanging at bars, after all it does feel good to have strange men hitting on you again, ...then you decide to go on a 10 day Caribbean cruise with your wilder GFs. You no longer give a damn what hubby says or feels... several years later, you are divorced from hubs #1, working on supporting your 3 illegitimate children from the many one night stands you are having, and also managing your drug addiction problem... Sounds farfetched? Remember , the journey of a thousand miles begins with one, tiny, innocent, baby step... 1
preraph Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 If you give him advance notice and he's not the neurotically jealous type, he will probably be glad to have this time to do something with himself or friends. Break the monotony. But tell him and see what he says.
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