Daking123 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 I've already talked to her and I get the same answer, just want some honest advice. I've been dating this girl for 3 months she's out of a 3 year relationship. 1st 2 weeks together she decided she wants to move in so I let her... we do get along but lately we've been arguing but we've talked it out. - this morning I saw her on her ex's twitter account. Before I accused her of anything I checked his the checked hers she was sharing stuff off his page, but she has him blocked (this isn't the first time I've caught her doing this) - she texts him behind my back, I've witness with my own eyes. When I check her phone all the messages are deleted and she blocked his number to hide evidence. -she always said he was abusive, ungratful of her but 3 months later she is still obsessed with him lowkey. I've already talked to her, she says I'm the one and only, and her soul mate. if I don't believe that then I wouldn't want to move in. 1
Gaeta Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Let me start by being rude: well, that's what you get for moving in with a stranger 2 weeks after you met her. Ok, now that I said exactly what I think. Hon, She is not over her ex. There is nothing you can do to fix it for her. You were the band-aid she needed on her wound and you offered yourself on a platter to be used as one, no questions asked. You don't get involved with people recently broken up. They need time alone to mourn their ex and relationship and they need time alone to reassess themselves, their goal, their needs. Give her 2 weeks to find a new place to live. 11
tillwemeetagain Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 well your girlfriend is actually making you a rebound so she can cope up with the lost that she have.. but then again since she keeps the contact with her ex she is not yet ready to move on clearly. maybe she like you but not same way she do with her ex.. 2
elaine567 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Never a good idea to get into the middle of two people who have unfinished business. Your gf is still hung up on her ex and he may be still hung up on her or or not as the case may be, but your concern is your gf. Texting him behind your back and deleting evidence is not the behaviour you should expect from a gf. Guess who is going to get hurt here? Sorry to say, YOU. 1
Satu Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 She's not over her ex. That much is obvious. It might take quite a while for her to get there. Don't expect her to suddenly get him out of her system. It takes time.
Jethro Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 2 weeks and you are living together? RUN FOR THE EFFING HILLS Second thought, sounds like you two are perfect for each other! 1
kendahke Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 I've already talked to her and I get the same answer, just want some honest advice. I've been dating this girl for 3 months she's out of a 3 year relationship. 1st 2 weeks together she decided she wants to move in so I let her... we do get along but lately we've been arguing but we've talked it out. - this morning I saw her on her ex's twitter account. Before I accused her of anything I checked his the checked hers she was sharing stuff off his page, but she has him blocked (this isn't the first time I've caught her doing this) - she texts him behind my back, I've witness with my own eyes. When I check her phone all the messages are deleted and she blocked his number to hide evidence. -she always said he was abusive, ungratful of her but 3 months later she is still obsessed with him lowkey. I've already talked to her, she says I'm the one and only, and her soul mate. if I don't believe that then I wouldn't want to move in. Why did you let someone you don't even know move in? Rule #1: Don't let strangers move in with you. She didn't move in because she loved you--she moved in because she needed a sap to help her make her ex mad, which is why she's still talking to him. I mean, what kind of future can you have with someone as deceitful as she is? You're the "one and only"? If you were her "soul mate", which do not exist, she'd have absolutely no need for her ex in any way, shape or form. I hope you didn't swallow that line. Fact is, you didn't know her from a can of paint when you let her move in and now, it's going to take going to court to evict her because it's her residence now, too. IF she doesn't want to move, she doesn't have to and she can squat there for as long as she can get continuances from the court--and not pay a dime of rent. You really need to consult a lawyer about legally getting her out of your place. 2
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Honey she's a user & a liar & you are her current mark. She is using you for shelter & comfort. She's lying to you because she is still in love with her EX. The only Q here is how much longer are you going to allow her to take advantage of you? 2
joseb Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 I'm going to quote from your other post here as I think it gives some insight into how much she is manipulating you and how much you have fallen for it. You will have a hard job getting rid of her but you need to do it asap. If she didn't love me, she wouldn't spend 24 hours with me a day, she wouldn't confess her love for me daily, she wouldn't talk about us having a kid together, she wouldn't say we are soulmates if she didn't love me. Girls wouldn't say that if they didn't love you
gonetildecember Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Actions speak louder than words. After three months, she's telling you you're her soulmate, but her actions are saying she's still not over her ex. If the two of you have trust issues now, that will only continue to negatively impact both of you the longer you're together. If she's going to continue to hide things and deceive you, and your 'investigative' behaviour continues, it can only lead to bad things.
Author Daking123 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 Me and this girl have been in a relationship for 5 months, before me she was in a 3 year relationship. They was only broken up 3 weeks before she told me she wanted me. We moved in together 2 months into the relationship. She always talks about how abusive he was towards her etc. She said she never wants anything to do with him. well last night I got on the computer and seen she made a new Twitter account just to talk to her ex. This is isn't the first time she's went behind my back to talk to him I caught her a couple months back texting and even a phone call. but making a entire new page just to speak to him, should I be concerned about this
Author Daking123 Posted May 30, 2016 Author Posted May 30, 2016 She said she doesn't know why she did it
kittyxo Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Saying she didn't know why she did it is not an excuse. She made the account to talk to him, or find out what he's up to. She may not necessarily want him back, but it definently is disrespectful towards you. She needs a reality check for sure, because it looks like she's not over him.. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 You should be more concerned about why you made the ill-advised decision to move in 60 days after you met somebody. What on earth were you thinking? Now on to the specifics of her. She wasn't over him. You are a rebound. She has poor boundaries. She had a lose relationship with the truth (making a fake profile -- a lie -- to talk to her EX) There is absolutely nothing healthy or good about this situation. 4
smackie9 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 She is still in love with her ex and all you are is a rebound/an emotional escape from the breakup. Yup you got duped. Dump her now. 2
Gaeta Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 That's what you get when you date a woman barely out of a 3 year relationship and move her in with you 8 weeks down the road. Give her 7 days to move out. Don't worry, the ex will be more than happy to offer her a shelter.
Marc878 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Yep, you are a rebound. Extricate Her immediately. No future here. 1
contel3 Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Ruuuun forrest ruuuuuun. No seriously now, making a fake account to talk to anybody (doesnt have to be an ex) is pretty deranged. Dump her quick and don't accept any friend requests from strangers! 1
RoseHeart Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Yes you should be very worried. She's still in love with her ex. It's not normal to be in a new relationship and still be obsessed with a ex. And yes, she seems obsessed.
Space Ritual Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Me and this girl have been in a relationship for 5 months, before me she was in a 3 year relationship. They was only broken up 3 weeks before she told me she wanted me. We moved in together 2 months into the relationship. She always talks about how abusive he was towards her etc. She said she never wants anything to do with him. well last night I got on the computer and seen she made a new Twitter account just to talk to her ex. This is isn't the first time she's went behind my back to talk to him I caught her a couple months back texting and even a phone call. but making a entire new page just to speak to him, should I be concerned about this No need to be concerned, because you are going to take decisive action this very day and give her about 10 seconds to make her decision or you are going to make her decision for her. Right? Right? Right? Young man, women do not respect indecisiveness. In fact nobody does. Your best course of action is to take action. You understand she will keep doing this for as long as you ALLOW her to keep doing this. I hope you did not sign a long term lease, because you need to kick her out. 1
Space Ritual Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 She said she doesn't know why she did it She knows EXACTLY why she did it. Kick Her Out Today
HansonGirl Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 Me and this girl have been in a relationship for 5 months, before me she was in a 3 year relationship. They was only broken up 3 weeks before she told me she wanted me. We moved in together 2 months into the relationship. She always talks about how abusive he was towards her etc. She said she never wants anything to do with him. well last night I got on the computer and seen she made a new Twitter account just to talk to her ex. This is isn't the first time she's went behind my back to talk to him I caught her a couple months back texting and even a phone call. but making a entire new page just to speak to him, should I be concerned about this This is a red flag for more than one reason: first, based on the circumstances of the relationship (long term relationship that ended only 3 weeks before you got together) and the fact that she's in contact with him - uh oh and second, her DECEIT in your relationship. She is LYING to you - you said she did it behind your back. uh oh again I can speak from personal experience- this sounds almost exactly like what happened to me in a relationship. I was with my boyfriend who had been in a relationship with some girl who moved away- however it was a shorter relationship than 3 years, and it had been 1-2 months since they ended things. Well he'd go out of his way to tell me how she cheated on him and he has no respect for her and doesn't speak to her. However I later found out that they were in contact the whole time - he wrote comments on her blog photos complimenting how hot she looked. I felt like such a fool. We broke up obviously, and I learned that they ended up meeting up for a vacation together. I also know a girl who went out with this guy and she had a lot of nasty things to say about him - she trashed talked him at every opportunity. Said all these awful things about him. However she still hung out with him and hookedup with him when the opportunity arose. Never believe a person's words at face value- it's their actions that reveal their heart.
OnlyHonesty Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 You should be more concerned about why you made the ill-advised decision to move in 60 days after you met somebody. What on earth were you thinking? He was thinking with his hormones....
Emilia Posted May 30, 2016 Posted May 30, 2016 You should really only date someone with abusive relationship experience if that had finished years ago.
Buddhist Posted May 31, 2016 Posted May 31, 2016 1st 2 weeks together she decided she wants to move in so I let her... She wanted to move in to extinguish her feelings of loneliness and having to sit with the discomfort of her breakup. Moving in with someone else allows you to bypass any potential grieving and sorting out your own feelings. It's monkey-gripping onto someone else and using them to hide your own discomfort. - this morning I saw her on her ex's twitter account. - she texts him behind my back, - but 3 months later she is still obsessed with him lowkey. - she says I'm the one and only, and her soul mate. if I don't believe that then I wouldn't want to move in. She's lying. I've already elucidated why she really moved in. She is still obsessed with her ex because she has feelings for him. Whether or not she wants to get back with him isn't necessarily true. But her spying and texting tells you she definitely has unfinished business there and while that's true, you don't really have a relationship with her at all. If I were I'd suggest she move out, in order to give you space and to contact you in about 6 months time when she has properly dealt with her breakup. In the meantime go date someone who isn't preoccupied with their ex.
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