drered1 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 I posted on here before about my break-up. My gf of six years left me almost 2 months ago with no warning. I came home from work and she was gone. She late said that she does not love me anymore and that her future was not going where she wanted. We had one text conversation and then she completely ignored me. I have not tried to contact her in a few weeks now. I still love her and want to be with her. However I have been wondering if there is a way to start over? Can/Should I try to rekindle the relationship or should I just accept that there is no more us? If anyone has any experience with this or advise to give that would be great.
LD1990 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 It's pretty clear she's done, so no, there's no way to start over. Why would you even want to start over with her? I get that you're sad and you miss her, but after a 6 year relationship she broke up with you by moving out while you were at work and leaving a note. That's pathetic. The way she handled this situation and her concerns about your future show that she's immature and definitely not someone you should want as a girlfriend again. 1
BC1980 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 It seems like it's over to me. She left and hasn't spoken to you since the text. I don't think she would be responsive if you called her.
len51 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 The best relationship advice I got from a professional is to leave the first time you partner says they do not love you. Love is a chemical reaction in our brains. We cannot think love into and out of existence. Your girlfriend cannot make herself love you again by force of will. The best way to get over a girl is to get under another. That is what I did, and aside from calling out my exes name during sex once, it worked and I was able to move on. Here is something to think about. Your future life is going to be the result of everything that happened to you in the past, both good and bad. If it were not for two bad breakups, I would not have met my wife, whom I fell in love with instantly as did she. We were engaged in 3 weeks after meeting on a train and married 9 months later. My two exes had bad lives. One has mental issues and is married to a woman. The second one got hooked on crack and was a prostitute for a while. Then she kicked crack and became a stripper. She married a customer 22 years older than her so he could support her in return for sex. Those were two breakups that crushed me but now I know that they were the best things that ever happened in my life. Someday you will be sitting with your wife and kids and tell yourself how happy you are. When you do that, try to remember why you are where you are. One of the benefits of getting old is to view the past and understand that we are the sum total of everything we did or was done to us. Every decision, such as running to catch a train when I never have before, led me to the wonderful life I have. At the time the bad things happened, I thought my life was over. Companies I worked for went out of business and I was unemployed but if they had not gone under, I would never have found the higher paying jobs I did. Move on and eventually you will get to where you are meant to be. 1
swang Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 It's pathetic that after 6 years, she left you with a note and text conversations. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I also understand that you have hopes, and you have many questions you might want to ask her. Normally we all have questions we want to ask the dumper, even if it's just for closure sake. However, you can't really talk your way into changing her mind. Best thing is to think on the positive side. She left you cleanly, not stringing you along, so you can begin healing faster. If she comes back to talk, don't fall back into right away. See if she actually wants to apologize, get back together, or just in need of attention. 1
mightycpa Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Look at it this way. She plotted and planned and schemed to disappear. Then she did. Take the hint, it's easy to find. 2
Arieswoman Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 drered1, I am sorry that this has happened to you. It may be a bolt out of the blue for you, but, as mightycpa says, it wasn't a sudden decision to her. She was living with you, all the while scheming and plotting behind your back. She did you a big favour by leaving. You need her back like you need a broken leg. Just be thankful that you weren't married or had kids. You dodged a bullet. All things happen for a reason, we just don't always see it at the time. If I hadn't relocated to be with my first husband, I would never have met my second husband years after I got divorced. Now you need to concentrate on you, and healing. There is plenty of good advice on these pages. Good luck x
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 If your EX had any reservations about leaving you it would not have been such a clean dramatic break. She's long gone & was probably checked out of your relationships months before she actually left but you didn't notice so no there is nothing you can do or say to lure her back at this point.
Rachel39 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 That's terrible, calculated and I really would find all you strength to move on and show her she just walked out on the best thing that was ever going to happen to her. And you were willing to let her do that and not fight for her, I honestly believe she will wonder why you haven't in a while . That's not someone who you want in your life...that's evil in my eyes. Hold your head up high
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