Arman1987 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Hi all! Here is my break up story in the shortest way i can share it. Friends and my father helps a lot, but would be great to read some helpfully advice and/or personal experiences about a situation like this. I think i may be in a shock... 2years ago i met this girl randomly by a friend. i was still healing from my first long therm relationship (4,5years, ended 6 months before this meeting) The girl was my opposit side. 3-4party weekly, sleep with random guys, even with one that beat her up at "bed times"... Still don't know why i stayes with her with this informations, but i tought she maybe need a secured true relationship where all of us can feel good, trusted, ect... ANd i really wanted to love and take care of someone, so we started. The first half year wasnt so good. I spent all my time with her (take friends away sadly), but she was a bit cold to me. Ok, tons of wild sex, but no romance, no small gifts from her or anything that shows love... She told me she sleeps at her friends, i knew them, i was there once. After the third time, i felt a bit weird, she was different after that. I read in her letters, she went from friends to one of his classmate, slept together... she wrote to him that "you know i love exactly you!" I immediately broke up with her at 5am... jelling, crying... it was horrible. We changed a very long letter a week later, where i told i so sad for her, i tried to give all i got, and she kept cold, and do this to me. She sad se was affraid to trust and be loved, all of his earlier boyfriends cheated her. And she ask for a chance from me, to do things in the good way. (the guy left the school, and lived in the other side of the country) So We restarted... The wound was in my heart for very long time, but she done all she could to be good to me, became a very good girlfriend, cooking baking love me, small presents ect. except one thing, extremely jealous... a bit more then a year went like this. i started to feel the trust and feel good again. I was finally able to make a picture together (yes, i couldn't do that because the bad memories) We went a million places together where she never was before. Btw she cried a lot on very small things, like every week, that i could not controll sometimes and got tired of it. And now, at february, she did it again. Went to a girlfriend that i know to sleep over. She was weird again, not texting, going bed early, weaking up extremely late... I got suspicious. I checked her instagram i never checked before. There was a picture, hastagged with that she is traveling to the city the same guy live, she cheated me first time. Also a blog, 2 months old, she wrote she dream with the guy kissing, and phoning him sometimes... I could find this anytime from januray if i got simply interested on her insta... cant understand. I immediately called her girlfriend to ask that is she was there? Answer is No. Was she at the guy? Yes... thank you for your honesty. I meet in 20minutes to my girlfriend, told her i know where she was. Asked that they had sex? yes... great. i just got broken inside. cried like never before in front of everybody on the street. Asked why? our relationship did not evolved... she wasnt happy i was working, saving money, do 1 sport, and be with her. Taking absolutely care of her the best i can. Cooking, moving with car... Never cheated her, but yes i tought after the first attemt to a giveback helps me, but it did not happened thank god. Time and being together helped, and in this year after christams i was like ok, this can work, i feel good now. And she done it again, now she admitted it. We broke up. It was 5 weeks ago. I kept reading her blog for 2 weeks. our anniversary would be at marc15. she wrote at 14, that her biggest mistake was to lose me, she still cry all day, cant throw thing away, and hoping i feel better. At marc 17: she wish time stopped forever at that night she cheated, she felt so good, the kisses ect... Like its 2 different person. Its been 5 weeks. and im not a perfect person, i felt on somedays i dont want to see her because some idiotic drama, i did other mistakes too, but not like this. I believed what she became, but that was hard to her, she did not feel good with me. The best word is im still shocked that the girl who was crying every week that she dont want to loose me, and scared in life without me, the only thing is keeping her alive is me (bad schoolmates, family in pieces, no money) do this, to directly loose me. So opposit Im on NC for 3 weeks now, but still looking people on the street maybe i see her. I missing her, and still love, but i know thats over for a lifetime. Any words could be helpfull to me! Thank you if you read it 1
Alamo657 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 When she said that she didn't want to loose "you", she meant "anyone who loves me". It's only when she get the same thing with someone else, that you understand that "you" as a person didn't count, it's only what you gave.
Author Arman1987 Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 Maybe, but she gets nothing from the other. He lives far away, no chance to get together. Can't understand she throw away all we got for 1,5 day with him
Marco Valerio Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 One thing I can tell you, never never never forgive a cheater. Why they did it never matters. Someone who cheats on a partner are to be forgotten immediately. Believing they can change or it was just a one time thing is fooling yourself. Someone who's gone that far is someone who doesn't value or respect their partner. I'm so sorry for what she did to you, but I'm hundred percent sure that this is a lesson you'll never forget. You deserve a much better person, you know it. 3
AlexDream Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 (edited) Man, you should be glad you escaped. Your main mistake is that at the beginning you needed her, needed someone to take care of and there you found her. And now you love not her but a ghost GF inside your head. You imagined ideal GF but she doesn't match the real one. It's tough, I know, but you should find another girl. Edited April 8, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed derogatory language
Author Arman1987 Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 i'm affraid you are right. at the first time i felt like i need to be with someone, and the first one came closer to me, i jumped in with no thinking (she also asked it at the beginning, why i take so much care of her, is it from my last realtionship? i sad no ofcourse...) . After that i got stucked, even after the first affair, felt so damaged inside, i gave us another try. And the story repeated after 15months (or it was in the background all time) Still dont know, if a person is so scared of loosing me, and was about to cry every weekend i went home saturday night to start working next day, and havent seen each other for 2 days, how can she plan out a 1,5day tour to another man. How was she able to text me at night, "sleep well, love you, nice dreams ect..." when she was in another mans bed. Confused... I know if someone cheats, hase to lie something about it at that time, yet its extremely shocking. Many of my friends say the same, i should be glad i got out of this afte "only" 2 years... hopefully that time will come once
Chi townD Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 What you need to do is stop reading her blog. That's not NC. If you're reading her blog, then you get an insight into her life and what she's doing. And she probably knows you read it. Therefore, she wrote what she wrote to hurt you. Saying how good she felt because she knows you'll read it and get upset. Best bet is to plug entirely from her life.
Author Arman1987 Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 Yes, after the really hurting part, 3 weeks ago i stopped to read it... it killed something inside me. could not believe that she is the same person i loved for 2 years (and still feeling it)
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