LookAtThisPOst Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Saw this article by a woman that is a radio personality. She is talking about although she's flattered by some of the questions she gets as a single woman, but usually winds up frustrated...where people who are shocked and surprised that a PRETTY woman is unattached. What NOT To Say To Someone Single- Marissa | Johnny's House Live Blog | XL1067 She gets this a lot, and said she's been without a boyfriend for 3 years and if you're pretty, it is rather shocking to find out she's unattached. She does attribute how other people she knows that are single always have a stand-by person on the back burner as soon as their current relationship bombs. One after the other. It does make sense, but ladies, do you always get the, "You're so pretty? There's no WAY you can be single!"?
basil67 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 People say thoughtless stuff all the time, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if this is said to pretty women frequently. 2
hasaquestion Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Saw this article by a woman that is a radio personality. She is talking about although she's flattered by some of the questions she gets as a single woman, but usually winds up frustrated...where people who are shocked and surprised that a PRETTY woman is unattached. What NOT To Say To Someone Single- Marissa | Johnny's House Live Blog | XL1067 She gets this a lot, and said she's been without a boyfriend for 3 years and if you're pretty, it is rather shocking to find out she's unattached. She does attribute how other people she knows that are single always have a stand-by person on the back burner as soon as their current relationship bombs. One after the other. It does make sense, but ladies, do you always get the, "You're so pretty? There's no WAY you can be single!"? I think you got the italicized part backwards. She's saying that people who are "not single" often jump from relationship to relationship and is asking why being single means there must be a problem with her that all the coupled ladies don't have. Anyway, people say thoughtless stuff 24/7. Nothing new. Its like the poster who was talking about awkward questions she fields about her corset-making hobby. People imply others are weird to their face inadvertently all the time. You just gotta be chill like a polar bear and be better. 3
Eighty_nine Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 It's a rude question, to me the implication is that because a pretty girl probably gets male attention, she should have a boyfriend. Nope. Maybe she doesn't want one; maybe she has standards and hasn't met anyone who meets them yet. 3
Miss Peach Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 People say thoughtless stuff all the time, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if this is said to pretty women frequently. Exactly. I have noticed a lot of it (but not all) comes from people raised in culture where marriage is a big deal. But even beyond that people have their own perceptions and often verbalize them poorly. I've had coworkers look at me strange for being single and even make comments like they are trying to figure out why. One coworker even said you me 'you aren't difficult' when trying to figure out why I'm not married.
GemmaUK Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 but ladies, do you always get the, "You're so pretty? There's no WAY you can be single!"? Yes, this happens a lot to me. I was asked by a female colleague this week about my dating life and her view was that I should not be single because se thinks I am pretty. I recall a guy in a supermarket queue who questioned my lack of wedding ring, I told him I was single and he said that some man should have locked me down by now due to my looks. Happened to me today when I picked up a heavy parcel from the Post Office. I took a small wheelie case with me so I could get the parcel home and the guy at the PO asked why my fella hadn't come to collect it. I said I was single and he said 'But you're pretty and slim, you're lovey and I have known you for years, you should have a man.' (he has indeed known me for years and we always have a chat when I see him) I used to have lodgers but quit that about 4 years ago. The two straight male lodgers I had I kicked out - one saying he thought he was having a breakdown as he had fallen for me in the four weeks we shared my house. The other had a gf whom I knew and her and I were friends. He made a pass at me. One time me and him went to see a band together and a guy we met thought we were 'together'. I said he was my lodger but the guy turned to my lodger and asked 'Why are you not together? She is pretty!' So yep, it happens.
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 Yes, this happens a lot to me. I was asked by a female colleague this week about my dating life and her view was that I should not be single because se thinks I am pretty. I recall a guy in a supermarket queue who questioned my lack of wedding ring, I told him I was single and he said that some man should have locked me down by now due to my looks. Happened to me today when I picked up a heavy parcel from the Post Office. I took a small wheelie case with me so I could get the parcel home and the guy at the PO asked why my fella hadn't come to collect it. I said I was single and he said 'But you're pretty and slim, you're lovey and I have known you for years, you should have a man.' (he has indeed known me for years and we always have a chat when I see him) I used to have lodgers but quit that about 4 years ago. The two straight male lodgers I had I kicked out - one saying he thought he was having a breakdown as he had fallen for me in the four weeks we shared my house. The other had a gf whom I knew and her and I were friends. He made a pass at me. One time me and him went to see a band together and a guy we met thought we were 'together'. I said he was my lodger but the guy turned to my lodger and asked 'Why are you not together? She is pretty!' So yep, it happens. LOL...yeah where I live, kind of a smaller, suburban area, any woman who is pretty usually IS spoken for by at least a boyfriend (usually living together). The ones that are actually unattached where I live are on these dating sites. Usually because they just moved here to be closer to their parents/relatives.
HillValley Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I'll play devils advocate and say I don't think everyone is being insensitive. Everyone says dating is a "numbers game". It's assumed that attractive people have higher numbers of people attracted to them so yeah. It probably would seem odd.
GemmaUK Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 LOL...yeah where I live, kind of a smaller, suburban area, any woman who is pretty usually IS spoken for by at least a boyfriend (usually living together). The ones that are actually unattached where I live are on these dating sites. Usually because they just moved here to be closer to their parents/relatives. I don't live in a small suburban area and I'm not on any dating sites. I just tend to think these kind of comments come from folk who aren't the brightest sparks. There can be all kinds of reasons a person is single. Personally I choose to be right now. If someone great came along that could change but I haven't met him yet!
sandylee1 Posted April 9, 2016 Posted April 9, 2016 I don't believe it's said to offend, but rather as a complement, or as a chat up line by guys. It may well cause offence to those who are single, but it's best not to analyse everything people say ... especially random strangers. I actually have that view about single good looking guys of a certain age. Kind of wonder why they haven't found someone (if they aren't single by choice)
GravityMan Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 People say thoughtless stuff all the time, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if this is said to pretty women frequently. This. And much more often than not, the person means no harm. It's best to just roll with it and not let it get to you...perhaps a humorous response would be good. Many people, especially those that aren't great at self-control, tend to react in sudden ways (e.g. exclamations, etc.) when they encounter something or someone they're not accustomed to. Nobody has a perfect track record on courtesy or social awareness. Plus, some people tend to mistakenly project their own worldview and cultural beliefs onto the world as a whole. Single women and single men will occasionally receive these kinds of comments from others if they have qualities that are generally considered to be desirable (decent-to-good looks, humor, self-confidence, charisma, emotional stability, successes in life, intelligence, educated, etc). Moreso in more rural and/or socially conservative areas of the world, where it's the norm to get into serious relationships and marry young.
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted April 10, 2016 Author Posted April 10, 2016 (edited) I don't believe it's said to offend, but rather as a complement, or as a chat up line by guys. It may well cause offence to those who are single, but it's best not to analyse everything people say ... especially random strangers. I actually have that view about single good looking guys of a certain age. Kind of wonder why they haven't found someone (if they aren't single by choice) Yeah, if you think about it, it's not really all that offensive, but MORE of a compliment than an offense. I commend a who doesn't leap frog from relationship to relationship. So MANY times I've seen women break up with boyfriends and then bring on board a male orbiter into a relationship a few weeks later. Most women I've known couldn't go even 6 months without getting involved with someone new. Plus, it means I may still have a chance. LOL Moreso in more rural and/or socially conservative areas of the world, where it's the norm to get into serious relationships and marry young. Kind of like where I live. I had a religious guy get all up in arms about me being single at my age, going on and on with, "God didn't mean for man to be single!! You need to get out there and get yourself a wife!" And I'm thinking (What do you think I've been doing?! lol) It's kind of a thing to marry the person you went to prom with right out of high school. I recall being in my early 20s, going to college, and there was this high school couple that were friends of my friends...and apparently they had a wedding date already set just 2 months after they graduate high school. I was like, "What the world are they thinking?" Of course, they were Christian...so it's not uncommon in rural America. Edited April 10, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst
elaine567 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 I have heard it said to some who were not in the least bit pretty or handsome. (There is the guy equivalent too.) I think some people say it as an attempt to boost the single person's spirits(single people are obviously depressed over their single status) and to cover up their own embarrassment over inadvertently bringing up the singleness of the partner-less person. "OMG they could be offended here, better dole out a compliment quick."
Jabron1 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 Happens to men too. If I had a £ for every time women asked me why I'm not married/settled... So MANY times I've seen women break up with boyfriends and then bring on board a male orbiter into a relationship a few weeks later. Women are far better than men at cultivating their options. Lots of my 'game' I picked up from women
Revolver Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 When someone is wondering or(is shocked when they find out) why you are single, take it as a compliment. Nobody gives a damn or is speculating why the ugly person doesn't have someone in their life
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 It's just as thoughtless and nonesensical as asking an overweight person how they landed a relationship - which happens a mad amount of times on this forum alone... 1
sandylee1 Posted April 10, 2016 Posted April 10, 2016 It's just as thoughtless and nonesensical as asking an overweight person how they landed a relationship - which happens a mad amount of times on this forum alone... Wow. I've never seen it on this Forum at all. I've heard talk on some forums from betrayed spouses, asking or wondering how/why their spouse could have an affair with a fat baldy man or an obese woman. Could just be the hurt talking though.
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