triple-s Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 No it's not a good plan at all. He dumped you which basically means he doesn't want you in his life anymore. He has been clear that he no longer wants to be with you. He doesn't want to be committed to you. There is a limited number of reasons why he would want to be friends with you immediately after breaking up with you. 1. He wants to alleviate any guilt he may feel from hurting you. 2. He wants to keep you around for sex. He knows you have feelings for him still because you've agreed (against your better judgement) to remain friends with him therefore he knows he can tap you up as a friend for some no strings attached sex should nothing else come along. 3. He is keeping you around as a back up in case he doesn't get any other options. If he loved you he would be with you. If he wanted to be committed to you he would be. This guy has made it clear he doesn't want you as his girlfriend anymore you've been demoted. You deserve better. Never let someone demote you. If they don't want to be with you walk away. Don't stick around hoping him wanting to be your friend means he will change his mind. It doesn't. In fact it means he wants to string you along until he replaces you with someone else. When he finds a new girlfriend do you think he'll still want to be friends with you? What new girlfriend would put up with her boyfriends ex hanging around? Especially one that still has feelings for him. When he find someone else your 'friendship' will cease to exist and the only one who will get hurt is you because he has already moved on from you which is why he dumped you. You are making a desperate attempt to keep him in your life by accepting less from him than what you want or deserve. He won't respect you for this. You should tell him that you cannot be friends with him as you need to move on. Your relationship is over and any further friendship with him isn't in your best interest. Then go NC. Staying friends is only hurting you. Staying friends is only delaying you moving on. This friendship will only benefit him. Don't be a doormat. Walk away! EXACTLY my thoughts . My ex broke up with me and said " i still wanna be friends " ... right away i said no .... WHY ? read all above post . THIS IS SPOT ON ... Translated in short form : " Well, Im not really into you but stick around cuz I know youre a sucker and will do anything for me and also so i dont feel bad " .... are you a doormat ?
alwayshopeful1 Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 I will say NC and BLOCK him everywhere. That IF he ever reaches out might never happen. Trust me erase that IF from your head and think of this as forever. Someone who is checked out and only telling you these things, just doesn't want to give you real reasons. I know what it is to have that hope, but the faster you let go of it the faster you will feel better and move on. I have found this to be a form of salvation. Delete and block. Helps eliminate the temptation. And just because I've been really anxious to share this song with those moving on... It's not a sappy one. It's upbeat and empowering 1
Blanco Posted April 24, 2016 Posted April 24, 2016 Thanks for the reply guys. We were meeting up because we have financial issues to deal with. If I could've had it my way I would have started NC from day one. And I know I am never going to talk to him again because that's my choice, but not because he dumped me because he doesn't deserve my respect anymore. I know damn well that he can do whatever he wants and pleases him, were not together anymore. But it still hurts to see and hear, no matter what the situation. Im not looking to get him back, I know I deserve better than someone that disrespected our past relationship like that. I know hes having GIGS, because he started drinking, smoking and now this. Watching someone you cared about and loved move on, whether it's in a new relationship or sleeping around, is not enjoyable. In time, though, hopefully you can let these powerful angry emotions go and realize that him sleeping with someone after you broke up wasn't disrespectful to your relationship. He didn't sleep with someone to hurt you or to marginalize your former relationship. Again, I know from experience this sort of situation feels awful when you still had hopes of reconciliation. You aren't a victim here, necessarily, because this was not an act directed toward you, even if it feels that way right now.
Author Miss.A Posted April 25, 2016 Author Posted April 25, 2016 Watching someone you cared about and loved move on, whether it's in a new relationship or sleeping around, is not enjoyable. In time, though, hopefully you can let these powerful angry emotions go and realize that him sleeping with someone after you broke up wasn't disrespectful to your relationship. He didn't sleep with someone to hurt you or to marginalize your former relationship. Again, I know from experience this sort of situation feels awful when you still had hopes of reconciliation. You aren't a victim here, necessarily, because this was not an act directed toward you, even if it feels that way right now. I hope too with time that I can feel like I wasn't disrespected. But its going to take time for me to realize and get over all the emotions right now.
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