ClausVon Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I met this girl (21), we got to know each other for a little while and decided to keep a casual relationship or a friend with benefit by mutual agreement for two months. We had sex a few times and we messed up when we both started doing relationship stuff. She got too much close (I could handle it on my side), feelings were a lot involved on her side and lost control of the situtation. Then I didn't make the move, so she pulled away in order to get over. We didn't contact each other for two months until she did. We kept all the conversations very casual. In one of our conversations she said she would keep my number on her phone for whatever reason. Now we text once a week or every two weeks, sometimes I start, sometimes she does. But the weird thing is we chat for a little while back and forth, and then when I reply she ignores the conversation for a whole week and replies back as if nothing happened. This has been going on for a couple of months. I reply when I can because I can. Why contacting and then ignoring for a whole week? If she wanna be friends, fine. If she wanna go back to casual, fine. But why contacting and then ignoring? 1
hugsandkisses Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 whatever it is she is doing, clearly she finally got your attention. 3
preraph Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 She's probably promised herself she won't focus on you.
MachineGunFunk Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Maybe you're too much for her? I think you two just need to talk it out maybe.
mortensorchid Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Sounds like she's yanking your chain a bit to be sure. She has no contact for a bit, then decides to send you a text to see if you are still interested.
smudge21 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Keeping you sweet, sadly. She contacts, you respond, her ego is fed, she's happy you're still there, still jumping when she claps her hands, so she can go back to living her life. Eventually it will fade off and that will be that, but for now, she's content knowing she has this option. It's like when dumpers want to remain friends with the person they've just destroyed - it's not because they're nice caring people, it's because they want to feel better about themselves and also have that ego boost from knowing someone still wants them. Just slow down your responses, more hours, maybe a few days. Basically react in kind... or not at all and move on. Either way, a change from you will at least show you whether she's bothered or not. Think of her like a stray cat; why does the stray cat keep coming around? Because you keep feeding it.
elaine567 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Why contacting and then ignoring for a whole week? If she wanna be friends, fine. If she wanna go back to casual, fine. But why contacting and then ignoring? I guess because you are no longer that important to her, she catches up, gets bored stops the contact, then in a little while wonders what you are up to again. I guess it was hardly the love affair of the century for her, FWB of 2 months, catches feelings non reciprocated so she moves on. People can be madly in love one minute and feel nothing the next. I think that maybe you are reading too much into this. 1
Zippy2000 Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Why contacting and then ignoring for a whole week? If she wanna be friends, fine. If she wanna go back to casual, fine. But why contacting and then ignoring? I think you answered your own question earlier in your post: " I reply when I can because I can." Its like for me too. If Im busy and the text message doesn't need to be replied to. I ll leave it until Im free to do so. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 I have to agree with Zippy200 in that you kinda answered your own question. Why wouldn't she be doing the same? Besides, why do you care? You don't seem to want anything more than something casual anyway so stop analyzing it. If I had to guess, I think you miss her showering you with attention and now that she's being aloof, you can't handle. Kinda typical. 1
Author ClausVon Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 Yes, I think the problem is I miss her showering me with attention. So I've decided to calm down, play it cool and try not to analyze because I won't get an answer anyway. Thanks you all for your answers, they helped me a lot.
preraph Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Well, you enjoying the showering you with attention is more than a friends with benefits situation promises. Friends with benefits are just sex partners and come second after any real dating relationships they may be pursuing and no one is under any obligation to keep contacting the other for any reason. Sounds to me like you want her for more than just sex. If so, you better let her know and see if she is at all interested in being your girlfriend. Sounds like she stays pretty busy to me.
Author ClausVon Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 Well, you enjoying the showering you with attention is more than a friends with benefits situation promises. Friends with benefits are just sex partners and come second after any real dating relationships they may be pursuing and no one is under any obligation to keep contacting the other for any reason. Sounds to me like you want her for more than just sex. If so, you better let her know and see if she is at all interested in being your girlfriend. Sounds like she stays pretty busy to me. I liked the attention since we got too close, but not in a level to want her to be my girlfriend because I know her, I know she is still immature and for other reasons it would be hell breaking loose. So she may be an option, but I don't expect nothing until she has "grown up" a lot more. Now I've got priorities and this situation is a bump in the road, I just lost my job and I need to put in order a lot of things in my life.
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