Januarysdove Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Hi All, I'm hoping to get some insight and advice regarding the current situation I am in with my ex. It has been 6 months since my ex of one year broke up with me. I was told that the reasons for the breakup were that he was unhappy and didn't feel like he wanted to be in a relationship due to needing his own space and independence. I know that these reasons were true however I also know that he was bored and felt miserable even though he thought I was the perfect guy (I found this out by a mutual friend). I also believe that he got GIG syndrome. The breakup was not nasty even though I was devastated. He quickly started going out more, meeting new people and having a great time. At no stage did he show any regret about the breakup. He wanted to remain friends and I went along with it as I thought that at some point he would want to get back together. We hung out as friends and spoke regularly. I began dating other people casually however I quickly lost interest in the dating game. We don't discuss our dating lives (although I know he has slept with other people since) and hang out together mostly with mutual friends. Recently however I have been struggling with being his friend. I realise I still love him and want him back but that the chances of him wanting to get back together is pretty much non existent (he doesn't discuss his feelings but I get the impression that he doesn't regret the break up at all). I know it's only a matter of time before he starts seriously dating someone else and I know that will be too hard for me to watch. I need to get over him completely and move on with my life. How do I do this when he believes I am ok with being just friends? How do I tell him (or do I just disappear) and risk loosing him from my life altogether? Has anyone been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it? Any advice would be much appreciated
LD1990 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 You do need to stop being friends with him and go NC, because you're never gonna heal this way. As far as how to go into NC, you could just disappear, block him on everything so he can't contact you. If you want to give him an explanation (maybe not a bad idea since you've gone along with the friends thing for awhile), just tell him you're not comfortable with being friends anymore and you think it's best if you both go your separate ways.
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 How do I tell him "Look James, I'm having some difficulty with our friendship. I still have feelings for you and it's hurting me to be just friends. Maybe one day we can be friends again, when I've got over the pain, but for now I'm going to have to cut contact. Please don't contact me any more. When I am ready to resume friendship, I'll contact you." Then DO NOT REPLY to anything.
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