Dating in your late 20's

[Mjm1014]

So how does everyone do it? How do you/did you meet your significant other at this age? I feel like I have very few options and have been single for quite awhile now and am getting kind of fed up. I'm going on 29 and feel like I'm running out of time especially when I haven't been on a single date in 6 months and have been trying hard to meet someone.

 

I work in a male dominated industry that causes me to travel a lot-so my time in town is somewhat limited, I don't have any friends to go out with (no-wingmen) since I just moved. Its tough meeting male coworkers to go out with in my job also because I never see the same face more than once. I feel like if I had a wingman, things would be easier, but even meeting a guy friend is difficult when you never see them more than once.

 

Online dating-tried it. Major waste of time. Been on a few site for awhile now and have tons of matches, but things never go anywhere. I feel like I'm always on my phone wasting time on people that never actually want to meet up (yet string me along)..

 

Gym- I usually go everyday I'm home because I'm into fitness and keeping in shape (and also because I'm hoping somehow I can meet someone there on the side), but haven't had any luck there.

 

Bars-I guess I could go alone...but I feel like it looks lame, and most women are there with either a group or other men. Plus, I hate drinking..doesn't mix with the gym.

 

Volunteering- I'm looking to get into something very soon-its something I'm honestly interested in, and maybe I can meet someone while I'm at it..

 

Overall, I just feel like everyone at this age is in a serious relationship or married..even when I'm out, its rare I see someone I'm attracted to that isn't with another man. I'm talking about grocery stores, mall, etc...

 

Again, I don't mean for this to be a vent post, or look for pity, I'm simply wondering if anyone else is having the same problems at this age, or if you have any other ideas for me. My life right now consists of work, gym, and spending time with my parents. I have one other buddy in the same field I work in (except he lives in another city), and he's constantly texting me saying he is having horrible luck too-idk I guess it could be the job?

[Ami1uwant]

Do you live in a large city or a small town?

 

At your age it starts to change snd meeting/dating the way you sde to is changed.

 

It's generally much harder to meet people..especially if you say no on coworkers.

 

The benefit of online dating is that you know who is looking to date. It be great if people wore svailable badges then you knew echo was available to focus your time on them.

[spriggan2]

I'm 30, male. I'd say I get somewhere around regular dates.

 

The vast majority come from OLD. I dunno, don't waste time chatting. When I first started I used to text for a week before asking for a date. These days it seems like asking for a date within a day or two works, or you at least get an answer and can move forward.

 

Weddings also seem to work, and it's wedding season soon?! I don't have many friends, but my parents have friends whose kids are getting married, my siblings' friends are getting married, cousins' friends etc...opportunity to tag along.

 

Club scene. The bar scene is tougher I think, but just going out to clubs you meet people. The times I usually get numbers actually come from waiting in line to enter the club and chatting to people, waiting for ubers when the club shuts down and talking to people, playing with my phone and getting approached by girls, the interstitial moments. I usually rarely get anywhere when I approach a girl or ask for a dance or offer to buy them a drink. And I don't drink either, I just hang out.

 

You could try meetup.com if you live in a big city and look for activities you are interested in. Then maybe you can meet people who share those interests. The "New In Town" meetup groups are pretty decent.

 

I should be volunteering soon. I'll have to see how that goes.

[Dis]

I'm in a similar situtation. I know, it sucks! I'm 29 and dont drink so I wont be at a bar or club. I dont have a really active social life either. I'm in school so I spend alot of time studying. All my friends are married and dont know anyone to fix me up with.

So....that leaves....online dating...Ahhhh! Yes I know its horrible. It drains me sometimes and it is so very frustrating! Guy send me perverted messages alllll the time but its par for the course. I have been online dating for about 6 months. I had a brief 6 week relationship during that time...I deleted my account once he did. But now I'm back at it.

 

Ok so pls hear me out, I know how annoying and awful online dating can be but honestly it DOES work for alot of people...with that said....it takes TIME! But I really think the waiting game is worth it once you find the right one. To maintain my sanity, I do not stay on the online dating websites for long periods of time, after about one hour of being online, I log off, otherwise I'd loose my mind. Be patient with it if you do try it. It does work, its just a waiting game. Best of luck to you!

[ZA Dater]

I am 32 and experience much the same problem as the OP does, in fact it seems every poster in this thread has the same problem.

 

Often I think about this, one can go to coffee shops and pretend to be there to eat and drink coffee but with the intention of looking around. Problem here is ascertaining who is single and the additional problem is people generally don't go to coffee shops alone so you need to try and break into a conversation which is not only awkward but can also make you look weird.

 

Everyone I know married, no single left at all. Its difficult to find empathy for this sort of problem because unless you experience it you cannot relate to it.

 

I did gym for a while and again found its not really a place where people to go socialise.

 

Perhaps volunteering is your best option, try that and see what comes of it but I suspect you may not meet people you actually want to spent time with, especially if you come from a heavily corporate back ground.

 

People say one should try strike up random conversations but in what context and about what?

 

Someone once told me HS and college are your golden years to meet people and build up friends and nothing I have personally seen disproves this assertion.

[Leigh 87]

I am 30.

 

 

I went on LOADS of online dates with some great results; I met some decent men who were into me, sometimes I was into guy who were not into me and vice versa. But good quality of people just like us - who wanted to find the love of their lives. With a few after sex.

 

 

The biggest issue with online - is that there are a lot of bitter and jaded men who are butt hurt from all their rejection and take it out on you. I have been seriously verbally abused once or twice and was reduced to tears.

 

 

I met the love of my life when I was just walking home. He was working on the water pipes in his last job, out the front of my flat.

 

 

I was focusing on being the best version of myself and had quit online dating.

 

 

The thing about me is - I was very friendly and open to meeting someone - while I was not actively searching for a mate - I DID acknowledge that it was something I wanted one day - and was open and receptive to male glances and men who I felt I may click with.

 

 

I can easily smile and say hello to men if I am feeling confident and attractive that way - I let them approach and but I make it VERY easy for them!

 

 

I guess the thing that got me a lot of male attention was eye contact, being aware of my surroundings and the possibility of meeting men who looked my way and making it clear and apparent I was looking at them and that I was friendly and engaging and OPEN to being approached....

[PegNosePete]

My life right now consists of work, gym, and spending time with my parents.

Well, there's your problem. Work, not good to date co-workers (ever heard the phrase don't poop where you eat). Gym, worst place ever to meet women, in 4 years of going I have never seen anyone speak to anyone else except their pre-existing friends.

 

How about meetup groups or taking up a hobby? The under 40's hiking group that I joined is literally bursting with single people of both genders. It's really easy to talk to people because you instantly have a shared interest and hundreds of basic questions you can start a conversation with (have you been in this group for long, do you walk much, etc).

 

Online dating-tried it. Major waste of time. Been on a few site for awhile now and have tons of matches, but things never go anywhere. I feel like I'm always on my phone wasting time on people that never actually want to meet up (yet string me along).

Seems you have no problem getting to the "phone" stage so you've solved most of the usual OLD problems (bad profile, bad photos, not getting any response etc). I would suggest getting better at filtering. There's no need to spend so much time on messages or on the phone before meeting. 5-10 messages (quality messages to assess compatibility and goals, not useless stuff like how's your day), then a 5 minute phone call to set up a real life meeting (date, time, location). Keep it simple, meet sooner rather than later, and if they don't seem interested in meeting then don't be afraid to cut them loose.

[Emilia]

I keep going on about Meetup groups because they are full of singles. Also a good way to pass the time. I met someone within 3 weeks of going to various meets and I wasn't even trying. Everyone talks to everyone.

[Mjm1014]

Thanks for the replays everyone. Yeah it's a difficult spot to be in. I'll have to look into that meet up site though. I had someone a few years ago tell me about that site, and it seemed interesting. Maybe that's exactly what I need. Thanks again.

[ZA Dater]

Thanks for the replays everyone. Yeah it's a difficult spot to be in. I'll have to look into that meet up site though. I had someone a few years ago tell me about that site, and it seemed interesting. Maybe that's exactly what I need. Thanks again.

 

Its definitely worth a try, who knows you may meet someone fantastic. I for one will hope you do meet someone nice.

[d0nnivain]

I met my husband at a business card exchange.

 

While I don't encourage intra-office dating finding somebody through work is a good idea. Who else works in your building? Can you go to industry events or trade shows? Chamber of Commerce events etc? Also who's around when you eat lunch or get your morning coffee?