cookiemonster26 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I recently went on two tinder dates with two tinder guys. Before the dates I asked what everyone's intention was, Noth said relationships. Went on two dates where they took me out, paid, told me they liked me and wanted to continue seeing me yet ghosted me after the second date ? WTF? Is it me or is it cuz I didn't sleep with them ? Also why would they lie and take me out for dinner only to ghost me
HillValley Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I recently went on two tinder dates with two tinder guys. Before the dates I asked what everyone's intention was, Noth said relationships. Went on two dates where they took me out, paid, told me they liked me and wanted to continue seeing me yet ghosted me after the second date ? WTF? Is it me or is it cuz I didn't sleep with them ? Also why would they lie and take me out for dinner only to ghost me I wouldn't take it too hard. Just take it as a learning experience. People say is not what they do.
spriggan2 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 (edited) Why are you pinning this on guys? Logic should tell you this goes for both genders. Some girls do the exact same thing. I've had three girls I met on Tinder behave in similar fashion, except I paid for the meal. While I don't condone it and would never ghost on someone, after one date I don't take it personally if someone does it to me. It's less of a hassle if they just disappear rather than drag things out, then I can quickly move on to my next prospect. Just don't get too attached after one date, let actions speak louder than words or commitments, have options and backup plans, hold up your end of the bargain but don't prioritize your dates. Edited April 7, 2016 by spriggan2
HillValley Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Serious question, Would people prefer someone not interested just come out and say it? "Hey, I wasn't really feeling it. Good luck out there, lady." "Eh, date was fine I guess, but I don't see a third. Bye."
basil67 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I'd say that they didn't lie about looking for a relationship and they didn't lie about wanting to see you again (you did get a second date). It was just that the vibes weren't sufficient to keep dating you. The fact they want a relationship doesn't mean that they should continue seeing a girl who doesn't work for them. You ask why tinder guys *always* do this. Just how often has it happened to you? 3
Ami1uwant Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 You realize this dint unique to tinder but with all dating sites. Why did they not follow up on a second date... 1. They found someone they dated they liked more. 2. They didn't feel it with you in person 3. Some look for something more in a date than just talking. They may want yo feel a connection or they found something they didn't like about you that they couldn't get past And there is 4....... With online dating sites there is the grass is greener isdue. You find the same thing in shoppers. Dome are maximizers and feel they need to look at everything out there before they decide and then there are satisfiers who just pick what satisfies them snd doesn't shop around. Some look for the unrealistic perfect person.
katiegrl Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I recently went on two tinder dates with two tinder guys. Before the dates I asked what everyone's intention was, Noth said relationships. Went on two dates where they took me out, paid, told me they liked me and wanted to continue seeing me yet ghosted me after the second date ? WTF? Is it me or is it cuz I didn't sleep with them ? Also why would they lie and take me out for dinner only to ghost me First, when they said their intention was a relationship, they met in general, not necessary *with you.* It takes dating a person for awhile to know if you want a relationship with that person. Re ghosting after the second date, they simply didn't feel enough chemistry with you to continue dating you. Going out on a couple dinner dates does not obligate them to continue dating. They simply weren't feeling it. I suppose they could have texted you telling you that. Is that what is bothering you? That they didn't contact you letting you know they weren't feeling it? A bit confused about that cuz IMO they did nothing wrong. You can feel disappointed sure. But you can't be mad at a guy just cuz he realized after two dates he wasn't interested. He gave it his best shot, it wasn't there for him. Again, if you are bugged cuz they didn't let you know they weren't interested, or didn't feel enough chemistry, fair enough. But IMO, their silence speaks volumes. It was only two dates after all. 3
Buddhist Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I recently went on two tinder dates with two tinder guys. Before the dates I asked what everyone's intention was, Noth said relationships. Went on two dates where they took me out, paid, told me they liked me and wanted to continue seeing me yet ghosted me after the second date ? WTF? Is it me or is it cuz I didn't sleep with them ? Also why would they lie and take me out for dinner only to ghost me It's Tinder, a hookup app, what is it about this you don't understand? People are on there to get sex not relationships. :roll eyes: No-one is outright going to tell you they expect sex but expect it, they do. Have you been living under a rock by any chance? 3
katiegrl Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 OP, I am curious... did these guys try to have sex with you and you said no? If so, then it is possible they stopped contacting you cuz of that. If they did not try for sex, then as I said earlier, they simply weren't feeling it. JMO.
basil67 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 It's Tinder, a hookup app, what is it about this you don't understand? People are on there to get sex not relationships. :roll eyes: No-one is outright going to tell you they expect sex but expect it, they do. Have you been living under a rock by any chance? That Tinder is a hookup app crossed my mind too. But I figured that as the OP was looking for a relationship that perhaps Tinder had morphed into something more.
katiegrl Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 That Tinder is a hookup app crossed my mind too. But I figured that as the OP was looking for a relationship that perhaps Tinder had morphed into something more. I know a few couples in committed relationships who met on Tinder. Tinder, like any dating app or site, is whatever you want to to be. Plenty of people looking for just sex on other sites too. I think Tinder started out as a hookup site, but has evolved into more, depending on the two people meeting and what they want to make of it. 3
Mrin Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 OP's post in food: So the other day I go down to Chinatown and eat at Uncle Cho's. I ask if they can make duck confit. You know, where they sear the skin so it is all crunchy in the French provincial style? They say yes, they can. I order it but I swear, it was Peking Duck! A few days later I am craving some chicken cordon blue. So I go back down to Chinatown and this time go to Long Dragon. I ask if they can make chicken cordon blue and they said yes. But I swear it was General Tso's chicken. WTF? 3
Protec Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Girls do it too. I met my current gf from tinder. We sis not have sex until5th date? And she said that was the reason why she fell for me.
Zippy2000 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I recently went on two tinder dates with two tinder guys. Before the dates I asked what everyone's intention was, Noth said relationships. Went on two dates where they took me out, paid, told me they liked me and wanted to continue seeing me yet ghosted me after the second date ? WTF? Is it me or is it cuz I didn't sleep with them ? Also why would they lie and take me out for dinner only to ghost me I answer your question for you. Yes, these guys want a relationship, just NOT with you. People on Tinder dont know you and they dont have to give you an explanantion why they dont feel it. I ve done countless dates and there were one who were nto me MORE than me into them. Now, imagine this. The other guy REALLY liked you and you dont feel the same. Try and put together a rejection. Its bloody hard and do you know what? Its easier, its quicker to fire and forget. hats why peopleghost. They dont know how to put together a rejection. Its bad manners to ghost and it maks the other person feel bad. Dont worry about these guys and why invest in someone who doesnt feel the same. 1
Buddhist Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 OP's post in food: So the other day I go down to Chinatown and eat at Uncle Cho's. I ask if they can make duck confit. You know, where they sear the skin so it is all crunchy in the French provincial style? They say yes, they can. I order it but I swear, it was Peking Duck! A few days later I am craving some chicken cordon blue. So I go back down to Chinatown and this time go to Long Dragon. I ask if they can make chicken cordon blue and they said yes. But I swear it was General Tso's chicken. WTF? Did you make that up? OP do you often dine at McDonald's and expect caviar?
Buddhist Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I know a few couples in committed relationships who met on Tinder. Tinder, like any dating app or site, is whatever you want to to be. I think Tinder started out as a hookup site, but has evolved into more, depending on the two people meeting and what they want to make of it. I have to disagree here, two people making something more of meeting on a hookup site doesn't change the purpose of the site. It's still a hookup site, that's what it was designed for, that's what the majority of people on there will be using it for.
katiegrl Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I have to disagree here, two people making something more of meeting on a hookup site doesn't change the purpose of the site. It's still a hookup site, that's what it was designed for, that's what the majority of people on there will be using it for. I guess I'm wondering ... if it is strictly a hookup site, for the majority of people (which still isn't everyone) then why bother spending money on expensive dinner dates at all... why not just go for the straight "hey, my place or yours"? And OP didn't say these guys even tried for sex, she said they spent money on expensive dinner dates and then ghosted. Perhaps she could come back and clarify if they did try for sex. I will buy it was originally set up as a hookup site, but not everyone will use it for that obviously, since I know couples in committed relationships who met that way, the OP doesn't use it that way, many people on this board don't use it that way. I dunno, I never used it and never would .... it just seems strange that if it were strictly for hookups ...and everyone knows that and uses it for that purpose, again why even bother with dinner dates at all. So a bit confused about that, tis all. 1
joseb Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I have to disagree here, two people making something more of meeting on a hookup site doesn't change the purpose of the site. It's still a hookup site, that's what it was designed for, that's what the majority of people on there will be using it for. Hi Buddhist, as a tinder user looking for hookups I can tell you it's far from just a hookup site now. Id say that the majority of profiles I read are not looking for hookups, and are pretty clear about that. 5
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 That Tinder is a hookup app crossed my mind too. But I figured that as the OP was looking for a relationship that perhaps Tinder had morphed into something more. It has. Some are still using it for hook ups but not all. 60% of US women stated on their bio they were NOT looking for hook ups on Tinder.
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 In a society which seems to find it difficult to interact socially and conflict avoidance is becoming "the norm" and empathy is way down the list, ghosting is thus par for the course.
salparadise Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 why bother spending money on expensive dinner dates at all... why not just go for the straight "hey, my place or yours"? And OP didn't say these guys even tried for sex, she said they spent money on expensive dinner dates and then ghosted. it just seems strange that if it were strictly for hookups ...and everyone knows that and uses it for that purpose, again why even bother with dinner dates at all. So a bit confused about that, tis all. Maybe I'm naive... does hookup mean you walk in the door, phukk like rabbits, pull your pants up and leave? Somehow I've always had the notion that some socialization would be involved even if sex was a sure thing. If sixty percent of Tinder users say they not there for a hookup, my guess is that one-hundred percent of them are women feigning demure. 1
elaine567 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 If sixty percent of Tinder users say they not there for a hookup, my guess is that one-hundred percent of them are women feigning demure. Do you really have such a dim view of women?? Tinder has now evolved into a dating app.
LydiaLong Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 They do it because it's really awkward to tell someone, "I'm not really attracted to you."
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 7, 2016 Author Posted April 7, 2016 OP's post in food: So the other day I go down to Chinatown and eat at Uncle Cho's. I ask if they can make duck confit. You know, where they sear the skin so it is all crunchy in the French provincial style? They say yes, they can. I order it but I swear, it was Peking Duck! A few days later I am craving some chicken cordon blue. So I go back down to Chinatown and this time go to Long Dragon. I ask if they can make chicken cordon blue and they said yes. But I swear it was General Tso's chicken. WTF? Lol wtf I never posted this haahahah
Author cookiemonster26 Posted April 7, 2016 Author Posted April 7, 2016 I guess I'm wondering ... if it is strictly a hookup site, for the majority of people (which still isn't everyone) then why bother spending money on expensive dinner dates at all... why not just go for the straight "hey, my place or yours"? And OP didn't say these guys even tried for sex, she said they spent money on expensive dinner dates and then ghosted. Perhaps she could come back and clarify if they did try for sex. I will buy it was originally set up as a hookup site, but not everyone will use it for that obviously, since I know couples in committed relationships who met that way, the OP doesn't use it that way, many people on this board don't use it that way. I dunno, I never used it and never would .... it just seems strange that if it were strictly for hookups ...and everyone knows that and uses it for that purpose, again why even bother with dinner dates at all. So a bit confused about that, tis all. Yeah one of them did try for sex and one of them didn't
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