Why from work and not home?

[p.wiggin]

So I'm in my 20's and working my way through school and live with my parents. There's a girl who occasionally gets transferred to my store who is in a similar situation; also working through school and lives with her aunt.

 

She seemed to like me so I asked for her number and eventually asked her out. She seemed reluctant at first and told me she had an erratic schedule but asked me for a day and time. So I threw out a day and a time of 8pm which she pushed back to 6pm instead. Is that push back indicative of anything?

 

She doesn't have a car so I offered to drive her home one day. Again, she seemed reluctant and tells me she usually gets a ride with our manager (female).

 

As our date approaches I text her and ask where I should pick her up from, assuming a home address. She replies that picking her up from work would be better. I find this a little strange as I assume I would still need to drop her off at home AFTER the date. Why does she not want me to pick her up from her house?

 

She's South American and I'm from the US if that helps at all.

 

Thanks in advance to anyone who takes the time to throw some advice and experience my way.

Edited April 7, 2016 by p.wiggin

[strawberryshortstack]

She doesn't know you well enough to be comfortable with you picking her up from home yet, would be my guess.

 

As for the time, maybe that time just works better for her?

[spriggan2]

Assuming you like her and want to keep seeing her, just be patient for a few more dates and feel her out a bit more without worrying too much. I dont think there's a definitive answer to those questions yet.

[p.wiggin]

Thanks for the replies guys. I guess I am being a little over analytical, especially this early, but I don't have a lot of dating experience. I'll actually be picking her up this evening so I guess Ill just try and relax and feel things out.

[PegNosePete]

Is that push back indicative of anything?

It is indicative of someone who has to go to work early the next morning, or goes to the gym early, or something of that nature. Basically she has to get up early so wants the date to start sooner.

 

Why does she not want me to pick her up from her house?

Because she doesn't want you to know her home address, in case you turn into a psycho stalker.

 

What's wrong with public transport, anyway? First date, nothing wrong with meeting at the date location, and each of you sort your own transport arrangements. You are both grown adults after all.

[tillwemeetagain]

one thing that you have not see is she is living with her aunt.. maybe she is not yet comfortable that you will pick her up to her AUNTS house. which maybe a little inappropriate for her aunt. 2nd she still doesn't know you well..

[p.wiggin]

Ok guys I kinda got stood up

 

We had a date time of 6pm and she said she would text when she got off of work so I could pick her up. So I waited, and waited, and waited.

 

7:30pm rolls I around and I text her "hey what happened?" She tells me that she's stuck with her aunt. All I could think to say was "oh ok no problem". She then replied that she's really sorry and wants to reschedule.

 

I don't think shes really interested at this point. If she were genuine why wouldn't SHE text ME? Why wait until 7:30 and for me to send her a text?

 

Edited April 8, 2016 by p.wiggin

[d0nnivain]

Sorry you got stood up. If there was a crisis she may have forgotten. I'd text back something like "No worries. Hope everything is OK. Ball is in your court. Let me know when you'd like to get together"

 

The write her off. If she reached out you will be pleasantly surprised but if she never takes action, at least you were prepared for her to flake.

[p.wiggin]

At work this morning she apologized again and went into more detail about her excuse. No mention of another date even though she asked for a reschedule in her last text but now she wants me to drop her off at home after work. Thoughts?

[PegNosePete]

There is no excuse for not sending a text.

 

My thoughts are that she wants you to be a taxi service not a boyfriend.

 

I would write her off at this point. If she is serious about rescheduling then she will show that with action. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

 

And if she does reschedule, chances are high that she will flake again.

Edited April 8, 2016 by PegNosePete

[Satu]

It sounds like she's not very interested.

 

Some interest, but not much

[d0nnivain]

At work this morning she apologized again and went into more detail about her excuse. No mention of another date even though she asked for a reschedule in her last text but now she wants me to drop her off at home after work. Thoughts?

 

 

If you are still interested, drive her home. See where things go from there.

 

 

While her response is not ideal, on balance it's positive but I am an optimist.

[adarna]

If you are still interested, drive her home. See where things go from there.

 

 

While her response is not ideal, on balance it's positive but I am an optimist.

 

Agreed. I'd add that you should also give her another chance if you really like her. She did say she wants to reschedule, so give her credit for that.

 

I don't necessarily believe that if a woman cancels but is really interested then she'll take the initiative to set up another date. Relationships aren't textbook like that and a lot of women will wait to be asked out again.

 

Really sorry you got stood up, but it sounds like she has a valid reason. Do you know why she was stuck with her aunt? Sounds like there were extenuating circumstances to me. Ask her out one last time, then that's it.

 

As for the 6pm date time and not picking her up from her house, don't overthink that stuff. You can't start off dating someone already having doubts about them. Just enjoy, talk and you'll find out if anything is amiss eventually.