Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 So I'm not sure how I should feel.. My BF called me today and told me that his EXW asked about me.. she asked how I am and then told him that thier Daughter (Whom I'm crazy about) really likes me, that she told her Mom she thinks I'm cool and fun to be with and told her Mom "She's so pretty" My BF was taken back that his EXW asked how I was, and gave him this 411 about what their Daughter had said.. then his EXW told him she would like to meet me sometime... He (My BF) Told her that he was sure I would love to meet her as well (which I would.. I'm all okay with that) He said he was happy she had asked about me, and that it gave him good feelings about where we (he and I) are at in our relationship.. Our relationship has NOT been an easy one.. we've been together for almost 7 months now and it's been a struggle at times... I have nothing but respect for his EXW as thier Wee Peeps Mom and would never want or try to take her place.. I'm a single Mom myself and while I want any girl my kiddo's Dad ends up with to be cool with my little folks, no one will ever be thier Mom but me.. so I feel his EXW on that and give her that respect... BUT I guess I wonder what was the deal with her giving my BF this 411 today? He said he felt this was a "growing moment" and he was happy she had asked about me.. and honestly I'm happy his daughter feels that way about me, because yeah I am crazy about both of his kids... So just seeing what anyone's take is on this...
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Hey honeybunny!! First off, gotta say...I must have my head up my ass or something cuz I didn't know you two were back together! So, congrats on that - Stay and be happy! OK, why is he so concerned what his exwife thinks? Seems she has had some sort of hold over him and yes, they have children together so this could be part of it - But really, until he really includes his kids and your kids together, meaning sleepovers, maybe going away for weekends, right now isn't the time for her to be "meeting" you. Two of you are back together and really it's not her business. I don't know! Just seems weird that he's taking her curiosity for you as something he's relating to her. Hope everything else is good in your life!!!!
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Hey honeybunny!! First off, gotta say...I must have my head up my ass or something cuz I didn't know you two were back together! So, congrats on that - Stay and be happy! OK, why is he so concerned what his exwife thinks? Seems she has had some sort of hold over him and yes, they have children together so this could be part of it - But really, until he really includes his kids and your kids together, meaning sleepovers, maybe going away for weekends, right now isn't the time for her to be "meeting" you. Two of you are back together and really it's not her business. I don't know! Just seems weird that he's taking her curiosity for you as something he's relating to her. Hope everything else is good in your life!!!! Thanks babe.. we're working on it.. I'll PM you the long ass details ha! I believe a big part of it is because she IMO had been disturbed about how close her little peeps and I were becoming.. I think it's just an instinct you have when your a divorced parent.. you want your kids to be good to, but you don't want anyone to take your place so to speak.. so I relate to that. I wanted to meet my EX's new girl only because they (my EX and his girl) were becoming serious and I knew she would be around my kids a lot so I wanted to at least meet her... I guess more than anything I wondered if her curiousity about me was a good thing or not? For me I wouldn't care if my ex was with someone casual so to speak but if it was a girl he was going to be with who would be around my kids, then yeah.. I would want to meet her.
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Thanks babe.. we're working on it.. I'll PM you the long ass details ha! Sure, go for it...I don't mind. Well just let things play out. She isn't interested in him or anything right? I can understand her wanting to meet you because of the kids, ofcourse. Hehehe, you could have fun with it too! My evil mind is spinning... Nah, I'm sure part of it IS her curiosity, to see who he is with etc., what you look like, sound like and generally who you are. Just charm the s*** outta her!
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Sure, go for it...I don't mind. Well just let things play out. She isn't interested in him or anything right? I can understand her wanting to meet you because of the kids, ofcourse. Hehehe, you could have fun with it too! My evil mind is spinning... Nah, I'm sure part of it IS her curiosity, to see who he is with etc., what you look like, sound like and generally who you are. Just charm the s*** outta her! LOL I loves ya girl! She has actually seen me once.. We took his daughter to her game (soccer) and I had his son with me playing while he walked his daughter over.. She (his EXW) said to him "Wow.. she's very pretty" So she does know what I look like.. but yeah I think she just wonders more about me because her kiddo's talk about me... I guess it's normal curiosity.. My EXH was the same way about my BF..
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Oh yeah, I do remember you talking about that before, her saying how pretty you she thought you were. Bet that made ya smile huh?! Are his parents around? Have you met them yet? Right back at ya...
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Oh yeah, I do remember you talking about that before, her saying how pretty you she thought you were. Bet that made ya smile huh?! Are his parents around? Have you met them yet? Right back at ya... Yes I've met his Dad.. I really don't mind meeting his EX.. again I understand why she wants to meet me.. LOL I dunno Girl, you know how I am.. I can analyze my own sh*t to death! AND YES it made me smile that his EX had said that about me
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Me too! I'm a worrywart...probably why I got an anxiety problem!
tiki Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Forward with caution. This is when mine (H's ex-wife) became psycho. Niiiiiice. They try to get ya where they want ya...they want all the 411. Just remember, it could be a front, especially if she's nutz...which I hope she's not!!! A good indication of that is your BF himself. If he thinks she's nutz, trust HIS instincts. Kinda sad ya gotta be like this, but....once bitten twice shy.
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Forward with caution. This is when mine (H's ex-wife) became psycho. Niiiiiice. They try to get ya where they want ya...they want all the 411. Just remember, it could be a front, especially if she's nutz...which I hope she's not!!! A good indication of that is your BF himself. If he thinks she's nutz, trust HIS instincts. Kinda sad ya gotta be like this, but....once bitten twice shy. Thanks Girl LOL I am most def going to be careful here.. I don't want her to freak out or anything. I know thier Daughter talked to her Mom about me, and I guess the thing I want his EX to know is I am in no way wanting to take her place as her Kiddo's Mom..
whichwayisup Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 Try not to think of her right now in a way that will shed bad light. Until she gives you something to worry about, don't even put any energy into it. I mean, if you come home and there's a bunny boiling in a pot on the stove, well then...That's a different story! I guess ya just have to trust that your BF didn't have a psycho wife while they were together! If she hasn't done anything yet, I highly doubt you'll experience the bunny!
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by whichwayisup Try not to think of her right now in a way that will shed bad light. Until she gives you something to worry about, don't even put any energy into it. I mean, if you come home and there's a bunny boiling in a pot on the stove, well then...That's a different story! I guess ya just have to trust that your BF didn't have a psycho wife while they were together! If she hasn't done anything yet, I highly doubt you'll experience the bunny! LMAO! I'm trying not to over think this too much... Thankfully I don't have a LOL that is something I sooooooo don't want to experience!
tiki Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 My H kept warning me...."She's very manipulative....she'll try to pull you in....don't let her do it". I wish I would've listened, but nooooooo, I just HAD to learn for myself. And oh have I learned. If she's normal, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'd try to keep some distance, or next thing you know, you'll be sharing every intimate detail with an ex sex partner, which is kinda weird. I'd keep it civil, and not intend to make a friendship out of it. There's a reason they divorced. That's my fifty million pesos (two cents ).
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by tiki My H kept warning me...."She's very manipulative....she'll try to pull you in....don't let her do it". I wish I would've listened, but nooooooo, I just HAD to learn for myself. And oh have I learned. If she's normal, I wouldn't worry too much about it. I'd try to keep some distance, or next thing you know, you'll be sharing every intimate detail with an ex sex partner, which is kinda weird. I'd keep it civil, and not intend to make a friendship out of it. There's a reason they divorced. That's my fifty million pesos (two cents ). It was funny because my BF told her "Well I'm sure Merin would love to meet you" I was like "Okay, sure good to go, I'll meet her" THEN he says "Yeah Merin, all good to go, she wants to meet you and I know you don't mind BUT I'm not exactly rushing and all excited for the 2 of you to meet and hang out or anything." I cannot imagine the 2 of us being all "Lets hang out" LOL but yeah I do see what you're saying and I will keep it Friendly, again I have nothing but respect for her as her Little peoples Mom... BUT her EX is now my BF.. so some distance and not trying to be "Friends" is good advice, thanks Tiki This is the only Guy I've dated that has had Kiddo's and although I don't cause any Mama drama in my Ex's life I guess I sometimes wonder if I'm the exception there and not the rule...
tiki Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 I'm sure you'll be fine, as long as she doesn't grow psycho on ya (sounds like she might be NORMAL - lucky you). So where will this meeting take place? Mine wasn't planned. I met my H's ex at the ballpark. She was pissed because he didn't tell her. He laughed in her face. She likes trying to make him feel as if he has to report to her....as a matter of fact....she still tries! Don't be nervous! As far as the little kiddos go, yeah, I'd wanna meet you too! No doubt! She's lucky to have someone like you in the picture. Your BF's lucky too.
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I'm sure you'll be fine, as long as she doesn't grow psycho on ya (sounds like she might be NORMAL - lucky you). So where will this meeting take place? Mine wasn't planned. I met my H's ex at the ballpark. She was pissed because he didn't tell her. He laughed in her face. She likes trying to make him feel as if he has to report to her....as a matter of fact....she still tries! Don't be nervous! As far as the little kiddos go, yeah, I'd wanna meet you too! No doubt! She's lucky to have someone like you in the picture. Your BF's lucky too. LOL I think she probably is normal.. so yeah it's a good thing Somehow I don't think our meeting will be planned either.. just being in the same place at the same time deal.. Thanks for the Kudo's girl.. I really am crazy about his Kid's, they're good Kids.. and in so many ways because I know how my EX's Girl feels about my Kids (she's NOT crazy about the idea that he *my Ex* has little people with someone other than her) I do feel like My BF's EX is lucky in the way that he (my BF) was careful in selecting someone who would be good to go with thier Little People and understanding of the fact he's got Kid's to begin with... My EX's Girl is Lucky IMO that I'm not one of those Girls who causes Mama Drama and I'm hoping Karma is coming around on the good side for me in that respect as well and My BF's EX won't be all about the Mama Drama either. Maybe it's just in letting her know or feel that I have respect for her as her Kids Mom and would not cross that line?
tiki Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 You'll be fine! The only thing that has come of the mama drama from my end, is that in hopes of one day my ex-H finding a wonderful woman to share his and my son's life with....that I'll be so much more understanding, as I've seen it from a different perspective. I haven't had to deal with that yet, but I'm sure the day will come!
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by tiki You'll be fine! The only thing that has come of the mama drama from my end, is that in hopes of one day my ex-H finding a wonderful woman to share his and my son's life with....that I'll be so much more understanding, as I've seen it from a different perspective. I haven't had to deal with that yet, but I'm sure the day will come! Thats so cool that you feel that way about your EX Tiki I am the same way about my EX.. as long as he's good to go with our little people, I'm happy for him in having found someone to put up with him I do think it makes you more aware of things when you've been put in a situation of having to deal with Ex's that will always be around due to shared Children...
Mz. Pixie Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 My exh is dating someone that I used to be good friends with- so actually, I'm good with it. I think that he thought I would be upset about it, but nah- better her than me A couple of weeks ago I was at my fiance's house and his exwife came by to pick up something that we were leaving in the driveway. He'd already left for work. I had my kiddos over there and I ran out to turn the sprinkler on. She was out there with her new husband (the guy she left my fiance' for) and the neighbor. I went out and stood there a minute and she didn't acknowledge me. I thought to myself, this is going to be my home and you can't ignore me in my driveway! I stuck my hand out and introduced myself. She had no choice but to speak to me! Yet, she never looked me in the eyes at all!! Of course, I was looking fabulous and she's six months PG with another kiddo. She used to be a really cute girl (i've seen pictures) but two babies in two years has killed her figure. I said, "Baby, you're trading up" So, its cool if you and the exwife can get along- not too good but just enough for the kiddos!
Author Merin Posted June 17, 2005 Author Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by Mz. Pixie My exh is dating someone that I used to be good friends with- so actually, I'm good with it. I think that he thought I would be upset about it, but nah- better her than me A couple of weeks ago I was at my fiance's house and his exwife came by to pick up something that we were leaving in the driveway. He'd already left for work. I had my kiddos over there and I ran out to turn the sprinkler on. She was out there with her new husband (the guy she left my fiance' for) and the neighbor. I went out and stood there a minute and she didn't acknowledge me. I thought to myself, this is going to be my home and you can't ignore me in my driveway! I stuck my hand out and introduced myself. She had no choice but to speak to me! Yet, she never looked me in the eyes at all!! Of course, I was looking fabulous and she's six months PG with another kiddo. She used to be a really cute girl (i've seen pictures) but two babies in two years has killed her figure. I said, "Baby, you're trading up" So, its cool if you and the exwife can get along- not too good but just enough for the kiddos! LMAO When I met my EXH girlfriend she was about 8 months pregnant and ready to burst! I have no bad feelings towards my BF's EXW at all... they couldn't make things work (my BF and her) and yeah it happens ya know? Yay for me! LOL I do want to meet her as well.. so I'm sure it will be fine Thanks Girl
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