smudge21 Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Nope. Only truly felt it about four times in my life. It's not something you can make happen, it either does or it doesn't. Sometimes I wished it had happened for me to someone I was with, whereas others I wished it hadn't. Damn crazy love thing has a mind all of it's own! 1
basil67 Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I'm a woman so I don't know if you want my answer.... We date someone to see if there is potential to fall in love. It's not the other way around 1
Emilia Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 What I've learned on LS is that people don't even like the person they are dating half the time, let alone love. 5
SammySammy Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 No. I've had relationships with women I didn't love. Sometimes companionship with somebody we like is enough. 1
scooby-philly Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 OP, I think the answer depends on a follow-up question "how long were you together"? Meaning what feels like love often turns out to be infatuation/lust. And what starts slow and only seem casual or friendly may turn into love. So to answer your question - I was in love once - in my book - meaning I couldn't wait to see her, spend time with her. One was a strong infatuation that fizzled and I've dated (meaning more than 5-10 dates) women I wasn't in love with or even infatuated with.
carhill Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 guys, were you in love with every girl you dated? Okay. So the question says it all. Dating, for myself, was getting to know people I felt an inkling of attraction for and whom agreed to socialize with me as 'dates'. Nothing more or less. 'In love' was always way down the road, if at all and, historically, pretty rare, count them on one hand. 1
kztar Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Dating, for myself, was getting to know people I felt an inkling of attraction for and whom agreed to socialize with me as 'dates'. Nothing more or less. 'In love' was always way down the road, if at all and, historically, pretty rare, count them on one hand. Im there as well. I think alot of people confuse love with infatuation and this is one of the reasons that many of us are out here getting hurt. I am a female but I don't take the word love lightly because its a big deal, therefore I do not use it very often. It takes quite some time to fall in love with someone. The beginning stages of a relationship are infatuation in where most people think they "fell in love" then this wares out and they "fall out of love".
Leigh 87 Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 My bf said he was never in love prior to me. He is 30. In the past, I thought I was in love and in my own way I was, but it was not with somone that I clicked with on all levels and hence the "love" was greately diminished compared to what I have now. I think some people love all their partners but in varying degrees; I know people who felt more passionate love for prior partners who they did not like as people as much as their current partners, who they are not as head over heels for but who the actual relationship is better with due to them being better people and partners.... I suppose I was in love with my exes at the time, but it was never really two peopel coming together due to the natural chemistry AND because we just "clicked". Yes I was in love 2 other times, but it was not a complete love.... it was always lacking in too many ways for the love to reign and grow into something workable for more than a year or two.... I am in love again. I have that " deep love" aquired through time together and genuinely caring deeply for him, but we also started off with the chemistry through the roof... I have found that the love feels more " real" and like "true love" when you get the initial cheical rush and chemistry in addition to someone you just click well with on all levels.
carhill Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Im there as well. I think alot of people confuse love with infatuation and this is one of the reasons that many of us are out here getting hurt. I am a female but I don't take the word love lightly because its a big deal, therefore I do not use it very often. It takes quite some time to fall in love with someone. The beginning stages of a relationship are infatuation in where most people think they "fell in love" then this wares out and they "fall out of love". In fairness, we each define our emotional states uniquely and personally and my 'getting to know' could be another person's 'in love' or any permutation thereof. I tend to define 'in love' using a phrase from an old Willie Nelson song, that being 'she's always on my mind', where I both feel sexual desire when thinking of her and her well-being and health are important to me on a consistent basis. Perhaps that's hard to focus on in the moment but, looking back over a lifetime of 'in love', I can clearly see the patterns for myself. For another man, it could be completely different. On the rare occasion that minds meet, we were complete. 1
sunking101 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I have fallen in love with someone within a fortnight. It was her personality that hooked me and then I met her in the flesh and was massively attracted to her. Infatuation? I don't think so. It usually takes me months to fall in love and even then it doesn't always happen. What about those people who believe in love at first sight and stay together for decades? It all depends on the level of connection you have with someone, how deeply attracted you are to them and of course whether they feel the same way. I don't think there are any hard and fast rules.
Mr. Lucky Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 guys, were you in love with every girl you dated? Okay. So the question says it all. I'd have to question the sanity, or at least the emotional health, of someone who claimed to be in love with every person they dated. Makes no sense... Mr. Lucky 2
2.50 a gallon Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 The world was full of beautiful woman, and set out to kiss as many as I could
smudge21 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I know that when I fall for someone, how I view them totally changes. There's been not so long ago that, although cute looking, wasn't my 'type' in any way and I was not attracted to her. Liked her, liked talking to her, but that was it. Over the course of a few months of just being casual friends she clearly got under my skin and then after one night out I realised that I'd developed feelings for her. They grew and suddenly she became someone I was heavily attracted to - she became the most beautiful girl ever, no question about it. Once again though, I had no control over the fact I fell for her... looking back, I wish I had have as I wouldn't have pressed that switch. 1
kztar Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 I know that when I fall for someone, how I view them totally changes. There's been not so long ago that, although cute looking, wasn't my 'type' in any way and I was not attracted to her. Liked her, liked talking to her, but that was it. Over the course of a few months of just being casual friends she clearly got under my skin and then after one night out I realised that I'd developed feelings for her. They grew and suddenly she became someone I was heavily attracted to - she became the most beautiful girl ever, no question about it. Once again though, I had no control over the fact I fell for her... looking back, I wish I had have as I wouldn't have pressed that switch. This happened to me. and looking back, I wish the same.
jen1447 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 guys, were you in love with every girl you dated? Okay. So the question says it all. Not a guy but I've dated a lot of girls. Not in love with all (or even very many) of them by a long shot. It's possible to be in love-them/not-'in-love'-with-them relationships and anything else down to only mild caring and/or sexual interest.
dichotomy Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 In any long term relationship I became in love - or else I would not have stayed. Short term no - except one that I kind had that "early infatuation butterflies" kind of love (but not real love). I don't love easily but when I do - its very all in. 2
Liam1 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Okay. So the question says it all. No. I was not in love with ever woman I dated. I had to get to know someone for awhile before I could say I loved them. Now, lust, that is a different story. Yes, I was physically attracted to every woman I asked out on a date.
GoodOnPaper Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Anytime I thought I was "in love" with a girl, it turned out I was really in love with the idea of a relationship - but that's something I could only see in retrospect. I chalk it up as an occupational hazard for any guy who really struggles to attract women. What I've learned on LS is that people don't even like the person they are dating half the time, let alone love. Even IRL, I'm saddened by how many couples don't seem to muster up the will to cover the basics as far as day-to-day niceties, respect, and support go. I think that's the easy part of relationships, but the mindset and skill sets needed for this are a completely different ball of wax than what's needed for seduction and intimacy - unfortunately, that's what really determines your worth in the dating/relationship arena.
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