Stakone Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Don't really know where to begin..so I met this girl about a year and a half ago. We met at work and immediately hit it off. She text me one night while I was asleep apparently she mustered up the courage from drinking to finally text me. Any ways we immediately started talking and it was an instant connection she loved all the things I did I took intrest in her life and it was love no doubt about it. We started to date and we introduced our selves to eAch others family. Spent the summer, spring, all off the holidays together. Towards the last couple of months speaking as of now we split up for the first time, it was a huge fight that ultimately cause her to move 6 hours away with her family members. We realized that it was an instant mistake when she did this so we tried to make it work but the distance drove us apart there was so much more fighting and she broke it off for good. Blocked me from everything including social media sites. It's been 2 months now and I am going crazy I can't seem to let her go as much as I try In those two months I met a good girl with a bright head on her shoulder and a good career. And even though I know she or any other girl would be a potentially better match. I still want my ex I miss her every single day and I know she's moved on. I see her ghost every where I go every little thing I do reminds me of her. There isn't a minute in the day that I don't think about her. Last night while I had this other girl in my arms while she was sleeping tears rolled down my cheeks because I felt like it should've been her here. I need help please don't tell me time will heal all because my heart isn't repairing one bit it's only getting worse. To put this short how do I let go the love of your life after they no longer love you.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I'm sorry you're in so much pain, OP. What were all these fights about? Usually a lot of arguing indicates incompatibility and thus not the love of your life. You need to consider that when you miss her. How old are you both, and how long were you dating? Finally, when people say time heals all wounds - they generally mean longer than a couple months. Don't assume that just because you're still feeling bad now (which is normal) that you won't ever feel okay again.
smudge21 Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 My previous healing took nearly a year. Didn't know I was over her until one day we met and I simply didn't care - no love or hate, just nothing. You cannot force yourself to heal and I do believe that's partly what you're trying to accomplish with this new girl. Sometimes we sadly just need to be away from dating and be with friends or family.. or even on our own. Yes I get that she was the love of your live, but I can promise you now, you will meet another one of those.. maybe even a few of them. It sucks to hear and I reckon the hardest thing is that acceptance that they've gone and that feeling that you don't want to give up, you still want to hold on to hope. All that just holds you back and stops you healing. It will happen, you will get over her, you will feel yourself again and you will find love again... but it will take as long as it takes. Wish I could be more helpful, but honesty is all I got.
Author Stakone Posted April 6, 2016 Author Posted April 6, 2016 We dated for about 1 year and a half. We are both 23 and the fights usually were about her not being able to trust me, and other Various things but I proved my self countless times even gave up every one of my friends just to prove how committed I was. I think what hurt the most was that she just completely removed her self permanently as if we never knew each other and now I'm still stuck in the dark missing her every moment of the day.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 We dated for about 1 year and a half. We are both 23 and the fights usually were about her not being able to trust me, and other Various things but I proved my self countless times even gave up every one of my friends just to prove how committed I was. I think what hurt the most was that she just completely removed her self permanently as if we never knew each other and now I'm still stuck in the dark missing her every moment of the day. This was a huge mistake. Never, ever cut off friends. This demonstrates that the dynamic in the relationship was extremely unhealthy. You shouldn't feel you have to keep proving over and over that you're trustworthy. If you didn't do anything to provoke her insecurities, then the problem is her. Get your friends back, if you can. Apologize to them. Rebuild your own life. The love of your life would never put you in such a position. In time, you will see that. There are much better girlfriend candidates out there than this girl. 1
Author Stakone Posted April 6, 2016 Author Posted April 6, 2016 I see her everywhere I go like a ghost I'm trying to move on but her memmory haunts me so bad the moment I become happy, I'm kicked back down to the realization that I'm never gonna see or speek to her again..
ExpatInItaly Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I see her everywhere I go like a ghost I'm trying to move on but her memmory haunts me so bad the moment I become happy, I'm kicked back down to the realization that I'm never gonna see or speek to her again.. This is normal after a break-up. You need to be patient with yourself because it's still quite fresh. Once you take her off that pedestal you put her on, your healing will come more quickly. Being so jealous that you felt compelled to give up your friends indicates she wasn't an awesome girlfriend at all. Are you happy without your friends in your life? What do you for fun now? Who do you hang out with? I ask because it seems quite clear that this relationship came at too high a price to you.
Weathersf1 Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 (edited) It's been 2 months now and I am going crazy I can't seem to let her go as much as I try In those two months I met a good girl with a bright head on her shoulder and a good career. And even though I know she or any other girl would be a potentially better match. I still want my ex I miss her every single day and I know she's moved on. I see her ghost every where I go every little thing I do reminds me of her. There isn't a minute in the day that I don't think about her. Last night while I had this other girl in my arms while she was sleeping tears rolled down my cheeks because I felt like it should've been her here. I need help please don't tell me time will heal all because my heart isn't repairing one bit it's only getting worse. To put this short how do I let go the love of your life after they no longer love you. If you can figure that one please let me know as well. I think the only answer is to wait for your mind to catch up to the present. At least you have met someone, I haven't had that happen yet. I'll just be happy if the pain finally stops and I can go back to feeling the way I did before I met her. Edited April 6, 2016 by Weathersf1
Author Stakone Posted April 7, 2016 Author Posted April 7, 2016 Any ideas of getting her off a pedestal because she really was a great girl, she just became this monster towards the end. She would kick me when I was down and would tell me some real hurtful things
Weathersf1 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 Any ideas of getting her off a pedestal because she really was a great girl, she just became this monster towards the end. She would kick me when I was down and would tell me some real hurtful things You just answered your own question.
bubby7 Posted April 12, 2016 Posted April 12, 2016 I’m sorry about the pain you are feeling! Have you consider dealing with how you are feeling about your ex-girlfriend before you enter into another relationship? Do you think you can use this season in your life to focus on yourself and see where you might want to grow emotionally and spiritually? Lost is never easy! As painful as you are fleeing this might also be a good time to reconnect with your old friends. Try not to let your self-worth be determined by this lost
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