dragonwalker Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I had a first date with a woman from okc. I had some mix feelings but I think it went ok. I asked about how I should go about contacting this woman. I decided to recall something funny from the date. We chatted later that night and that is also where I contacted her by text and recalled something funny. I mentioned wanting to know her better and asking her availability. She said she had some plans this week and would check with her friends tomorrow. I text late the 1st day after the date just to talk awhile. We chatted but neither one of us brought up setting up a time. I would like to continue this but should I ask her tonight? Should I hold off on contacting her and wait for her? I do get the sense that she is more of the shy/quieter/innocent type. Hard to tell if that's just her or maybe not as interested.
ThisisIt606 Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 If she's the shy/quiet type AND it's a 2nd date you should take the lead and ask her out. Meaning place, day, and time. Needs all 3 components for it to be a real date. How she responds to your date offer will help you gage her interest level. 1
Author dragonwalker Posted April 7, 2016 Author Posted April 7, 2016 (edited) If she's the shy/quiet type AND it's a 2nd date you should take the lead and ask her out. Meaning place, day, and time. Needs all 3 components for it to be a real date So I did end up texting her last night. We chatted for a bit where I asked her about meeting again. She stated she was very busy preparing for the CPA exam but did suggest at first a "date" at the library to study and then a lunch or a dinner date perhaps. I do feel she is serious about needing the time to study however I'm not sure what to do now. My last message to her was to say that "Let's meet for dinner." She did not say anything afterwards. I have not contacted her today and I think tomorrow I may suggest a time and day tomorrow and work out a location. Is it normal for me to be taking so much of a lead here or am I just in denial that perhaps she is not interested? Does what I plan to do seem reasonable? Edited April 7, 2016 by dragonwalker
PegNosePete Posted April 7, 2016 Posted April 7, 2016 You should be taking more of a lead. Rather than "Let's meet for dinner", you should have said "Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday at Dave's Grill, 8pm?" But since you already sent the vague wishy-washy one, probably best to wait for a reply to that first. If she replies "sure" or whatever, then you should suggest date, time and place. If she doesn't reply... she's probably not interested.
Author dragonwalker Posted April 8, 2016 Author Posted April 8, 2016 (edited) You should be taking more of a lead. Rather than "Let's meet for dinner", you should have said "Would you like to have dinner with me on Friday at Dave's Grill, 8pm?" But since you already sent the vague wishy-washy one, probably best to wait for a reply to that first. If she replies "sure" or whatever, then you should suggest date, time and place. If she doesn't reply... she's probably not interested. Alright, just an update. So I sent her a text today suggesting a time and place. She agreed and asked for a location. I actually hadn't given it much thought the specific location but I chose a place near her that is rated highly on yelp. Something more on the simple side, it didn't seem to fancy. I offered to pick her up and she made a comment saying it was nice of me to do so but so only tells her closest friends where she lives. I replied that's no problem but it was my duty to offer. Anyway, looks like we are on for this coming weekend. Question is I know she's more of the shy type. I don't want to be the only one asking questions and talking when we meet. How can I make this more of a two way conversation? I thought of just being fine with maintaining some silence but it makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes. However on our first date there were some moments where we didn't speak at all and I felt like it would just go on like that until I caved and started speaking again. Edited April 8, 2016 by dragonwalker 1
Dis Posted April 8, 2016 Posted April 8, 2016 Alright, just an update. So I sent her a text today suggesting a time and place. She agreed and asked for a location. I actually hadn't given it much thought the specific location but I chose a place near her and rated very well. Something more on the simple side, it didn't seem to fancy. I offered to pick her up and she made a comment saying it was nice of me to do so but so only tells her closest friends where she lives. I replied that's no problem but it was my duty to offer. Anyway, looks like we are on for this coming weekend. Question is I know she's more of the shy type. I don't want to be the only one asking questions and talking when we meet. How can I make this more of a two way conversation? I thought of just being fine with maintaining some silence but it makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes. However on our first date there were some moments where we didn't speak at all and I felt like it would just go on like that until I caved and started speaking again. Oh man, awkward dates are no fun. But give her a chance, she is shy so maybe she'll come out of her shell alittle bit. I'm learning to give people a fair shot when it comes to dating...not just dismissing them for any little reason. I have a date later tonight too. (Friday night). It takes more than just a few dates to see who someone really is. It was nice you offered to pick her up and chose a place close to her. Give her a chance to speak up, but if after a few more dates shes just as shy as she was on the first date, maybe its time to seek better convo with someone else. But remain optimistic for now. Best of luck!
Author dragonwalker Posted April 9, 2016 Author Posted April 9, 2016 Oh man, awkward dates are no fun. But give her a chance, she is shy so maybe she'll come out of her shell alittle bit. I'm learning to give people a fair shot when it comes to dating...not just dismissing them for any little reason. I have a date later tonight too. (Friday night). It takes more than just a few dates to see who someone really is. It was nice you offered to pick her up and chose a place close to her. Give her a chance to speak up, but if after a few more dates shes just as shy as she was on the first date, maybe its time to seek better convo with someone else. But remain optimistic for now. Best of luck! Thanks, so I was also thinking about the 2nd date and what to do afterwards. It's going to be dinner at a more casual place. I'm hoping this will give us an opportunity to talk. I don't think she drinks much and neither do I so I don't want to even think about that. What might be something light to suggest afterwards? I was thinking maybe ice cream or yogurt, or possibly a comedy club show. Should I mention these options or 1 option to her before meeting on Sunday or should I suggest it when I meet her and if things are going well? Also I thought of maybe testing the waters a bit about how to see if she's open to a bit more intimacy. I'm not looking for sex or anything but maybe going for a kiss or something. Although I'm just having serious doubts because like I said, she seems shy.
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