RobTaylor10 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 It would have been our 1 year anniversary yesterday. She texted me asking how I was. We talked and she said she wanted to be friends. I already told her I couldn't. She got upset, probably because I'm not playing her games. she knows I want her, and wants to string me along, even though I know she'll never take me back because she's been dating a guy for 5 months now. She then tells me "I wish I could fix everything". I said to her "If you wanted to fix it, you would have. You would have been intimate with me, you would have shown that you care, you would have treated me like a boyfriend instead of a boy friend" She said it was my fault and that all I cared about was sex. I responded with this: I bought you flowers every month anniversary. I took you on nice dates and treated you well. I was a gentlemen. I gave you massages and footrubs whenever you wanted. I helped you move. I was there when you cried. I did stuff around your place even when I didn't want to. Why? Because I loved you. I made a great effort in our relationship. I just don't know why you never wanted to have any intimacy. you would sit in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed while I talked to you, if I tried to look, you would get upset. If you needed to change clothes, you would shoo me out of her room. IF we were watching a movie, you would sit on the other end of the couch instead of cuddling. If I asked to spend the night, you said no. If I asked to cuddle before bed, she would say you were too tired and was going right to sleep, yet proceeded to text me for another 20 minutes. If we did anything sexual, I could pleasure you, but I had to ask permission. If I wanted anything you said no. If you acted like we were going to be intimate, you made an excuse not to all of a sudden. IF I wanted to make out, you said no. If I wanted to hold your hand at Disney or anywhere, I had to ask permission. I would give you kisses on the forehead and you said it was annoying. All of these things you used to do all the time and would say yes. I don't know what happened that made you change. It made me feel awful that I could no longer share intimacy, yet I did all these things for you and constantly showed you my love. I hope you're showing your boyfriend the intimacy and love you didn't show me. You must be because he's still around. It sucks that I had to be different but theres nothing I can do about it. I still love you and would love you the same even if I had to do it all over again. She responded with "You're a pig. Buh bye" I think she was a narcissist. Not only with the whole intimacy thing, but even if I wanted to go to the gym or out with my friends, she would get upset, saying I never prioritized her. How can she just realize all the **** she put me through? Trust me I'm moving on. I love her but I'll never put myself through that again. 1
Zahara Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Block her. Do not allow her any access into your life. These types will mind f*** the crap out of you. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 OP, you continue to be a glutton for punishment. At what point will you stop engaging her? 1
lchf Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Bud your response after "I wish I could fix everything" was not constructive to either of you. She's not going to see your point of view and it just opened the floodgates. If you're not interested in being friends there was no point even going past "Hi, I'm fine thanks". Boom NC. Don't text her like this again. It's obviously affected you enough to post a thread about it. 1
mightycpa Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 So you're in love with a dominatrix who is also a prude? You didn't share intimacy... having to ask permission to hold her hand? My God, son, listen to yourself! Get her out of your life. If I were you, looking back at that cluster**** I just read, I'd be thanking my lucky stars to be done with that! You'd do it all over again? You much have Stockholm Syndrome. Here's how you deal with her - you never give her the time of day again. Don't worry about her "getting it". Let the next poor sap worry about that.
Author RobTaylor10 Posted April 20, 2016 Author Posted April 20, 2016 I saw her when I was walking out of my apartment and she went out of her way to talk to me. She asked me about my new job. I just made a little small talk with her. Later in the day, she added me back on snapchat and started texting me. she asked how my friends were and if they were still with their girlfriends, like WTF. She then asked if it was awkward that she talked to me and texting me. I told her it was. I told her I can't see her as a friend, only as a girl I love. She said she understood but wanted to know if there was anything left unsaid I wanted to say. I replied with a letter telling her how I felt after she broke up with me. She admitted that she treated me like ****. I told her I still loved her and can't be her friend. I told her I was jealous had someone else had all of her heart. When she responded, I found it odd that she didn't say "Get over me" or "don't say you love me" like she used to. She said "no one has all of my heart. My friends, family, my bf, and even you have a piece." I told her I wanted her in my life but couldn't be friends. I was trying to emphasize that I still loved her want nothing less than her as my gf pretty much. She said she wanted me in her life. I said I woud be civil with her. She send me snaps and texts me every so often, but I don't know how I can keep it up. I'm conflicted. On one hand its making me miss her more but on the other, I'm hoping being in her life will make her miss what we once had. It just sucks that she's still with her boyfriend. Is this all so she can get an ego boost or does she miss me?
mightycpa Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 If I wrote what I want to write, I'd get pinged for abusive conduct. So instead, I'm going to write this: Intelligence can be measured by how many repetitions it takes for someone to learn something. How many times have you taken the bait and not gotten what you thought it was? 1
LD1990 Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 She called the shots the whole relationship and now she's still calling the shots even after dumping you. She doesn't miss you. She's used to putting her foot down and getting what she wants which is exactly what's happening here. Take another look at how this played out: 1. You tell her you can't be friends with her. 2. She says she still wants you in her life. 3. You say you'll be civil. Look at that, you're friends, she gets what she wants while you're miserable because she has a boyfriend. If you want to actually move forward here, you have to stop giving in. She shows up and tries to talk to you - you're not interested. She adds you on social media - block her. Now, if you want to be her pal that she talks to when she isn't busy hanging out with her boyfriend, you're on the right path. But it doesn't look like that's what you want.
mrs rubble Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 I saw her when I was walking out of my apartment and she went out of her way to talk to me. She asked me about my new job. I just made a little small talk with her. Later in the day, she added me back on snapchat and started texting me. she asked how my friends were and if they were still with their girlfriends, like WTF. She then asked if it was awkward that she talked to me and texting me. I told her it was. I told her I can't see her as a friend, only as a girl I love. She said she understood but wanted to know if there was anything left unsaid I wanted to say. I replied with a letter telling her how I felt after she broke up with me. She admitted that she treated me like ****. I told her I still loved her and can't be her friend. I told her I was jealous had someone else had all of her heart. When she responded, I found it odd that she didn't say "Get over me" or "don't say you love me" like she used to. She said "no one has all of my heart. My friends, family, my bf, and even you have a piece." I told her I wanted her in my life but couldn't be friends. I was trying to emphasize that I still loved her want nothing less than her as my gf pretty much. She said she wanted me in her life. I said I woud be civil with her. She send me snaps and texts me every so often, but I don't know how I can keep it up. I'm conflicted. On one hand its making me miss her more but on the other, I'm hoping being in her life will make her miss what we once had. It just sucks that she's still with her boyfriend. Is this all so she can get an ego boost or does she miss me? She misses the way you dote over her and adore her, the new bf is probably tired of it by now, she could be even trying to make him jealous by engaging with you. Why do you love her? It doesn't sound like she has anything to offer you. What pleasure/satisfaction did you get from being with her? I reckon you can do much better. Block her. Move on.
YWGMan Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 She's just not into you... plain and simple...move on and find the girl who deserves all that love and care you're capable of sharing. Tooodles!
Simon Phoenix Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 I saw her when I was walking out of my apartment and she went out of her way to talk to me. She asked me about my new job. I just made a little small talk with her. Later in the day, she added me back on snapchat and started texting me. she asked how my friends were and if they were still with their girlfriends, like WTF. She then asked if it was awkward that she talked to me and texting me. I told her it was. I told her I can't see her as a friend, only as a girl I love. She said she understood but wanted to know if there was anything left unsaid I wanted to say. I replied with a letter telling her how I felt after she broke up with me. She admitted that she treated me like ****. I told her I still loved her and can't be her friend. I told her I was jealous had someone else had all of her heart. When she responded, I found it odd that she didn't say "Get over me" or "don't say you love me" like she used to. She said "no one has all of my heart. My friends, family, my bf, and even you have a piece." I told her I wanted her in my life but couldn't be friends. I was trying to emphasize that I still loved her want nothing less than her as my gf pretty much. She said she wanted me in her life. I said I woud be civil with her. She send me snaps and texts me every so often, but I don't know how I can keep it up. I'm conflicted. On one hand its making me miss her more but on the other, I'm hoping being in her life will make her miss what we once had. It just sucks that she's still with her boyfriend. Is this all so she can get an ego boost or does she miss me? It's like we're going back in time. Seems like this merry-go-round has a few spins left.
elaine567 Posted April 20, 2016 Posted April 20, 2016 YOU are wasting your time here. She is/was just not into you. You can get angry, call her all the names you want, even "diagnose" her, but the fact here is that the "love", was one sided. YOU felt "love" and you thought you were showing her that love, but all she saw was a man wanting sex, and that was a turn off for her. Even your written profession of "love" is all about sex... A total mismatch. You can't fix this. She can be "friends", as she is in a position of strength, she is no longer emotionally invested, she has moved on, she has a bf. YOU in contrast are still in a mess, so you need to keep trying to fix YOU. Keeping in contact with her is doing you no good whatsoever, so stop it.
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