singlelife Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Ladys, when you meet a guy can you tell if he wants sex or getting to know you?
introverted1 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Most guys want sex. So do most women. It comes down to whether they only want sex, or if they want sex in the context of something more. I've always been able to tell - never been ghosted or faded or ONS'd. 2
salparadise Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 As a man I want sex and a good relationship. As to whether I want sex with a particular woman, it depends on attraction and how the first few dates go. As to whether I want a relationship with a particular woman... to be determined after we've dated awhile and had sex. Some women are on board with that. Others feel that a man should commit to a relationship before he gets vagina, but if she gets wet and gives up vagina without first securing commitment then she feels like she got cheated. If he lied to get vagina then she did get cheated. That's the dance.
Alamo657 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 (edited) Women don't care what you want unless you are being unwittingly persistant, or if they want to make babies with you. The basic knowledge is if you start actively expressing interest in a woman, she knows it's because of physical attraction. She then decides wether or not you're worth her time. If you're a hot guy, you can directly cut to the chase and ask for sex, 1 out of 10 won't be looking for a relationship and jump on your lap. Edited April 5, 2016 by Alamo657
preraph Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I think once women have dated for a short while, they feel it's safe to err on the side of whatever the guy is doing, it's because he's trying to sleep with you. It at least crosses the woman's mind that if a guy is persistently making contact with them, they probably want sex and may only want sex. Guys who really like you and like your personality are kind of rare, but you can usually tell because every conversation doesn't end up being nuanced with a sexual innuendo or something like that and the conversation is mutually free-flowing and you have lots to talk about. Anyway, since most women know right away whether or not they find someone attractive and also know right away if they are open to bedding someone quickly or not, it kind of doesn't make a lot of difference. But most women will quickly tire of someone who just can't keep hinting he wants sex with innuendo or endless compliments, etc. because it's so transparent and sophomoric. And smart women start learning that if a guy really cares about you, he won't be persistent in some kind of talk or behavior that makes you uncomfortable or is disrespectful. If he likes you, he is going to be more protective and considerate, no matter if you're having sex or not. 2
PrettyEmily77 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Mostly yes, sometimes no, occasionally not sure - so the trick is to get to know them a little better before deciding for sure. Hope I haven't ruined that for you.
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I always could tell good guys from selfish ones. 4
sin miedo Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Women don't care what you want unless you are being unwittingly persistant, or if they want to make babies with you. I'm not a woman and even I know this is a completely unfounded stereotype. Also, being "unwittingly persistent" will turn off a woman quicker than almost anything you could do. It's concerning that some men think this way...
lilmissjava Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Can't tell you what men want any more than I could tell you what a penguin wants when first meeting. For me, I think everything short of going on a first date with a polygraph is intuition on how things will roll out. 1
Buddhist Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Ladys, when you meet a guy can you tell if he wants sex or getting to know you? Is this a trick question? Because 99% of the time if a guy is talking to you he's wanting sex. Unless he's a coworker, boss, professional capacity and it's clear he's talking to you about that. If you are asking can women sniff out that a guy will be a waste of her time because he just wants to get his end in? Yes big time. It doesn't take long before most women can smell a sex shopper from a mile away. We're not stupid, we know that many men just see a walking vagina and pair of breasts when they look at a female they find attractive. We know that most of the time he isn't interested in a relationship he's just interested in a warm place to put his dick. That's why women aren't usually all that receptive to some randoms overtures. That's why the whole 'make him work for it' train of thought came in. Because we are sick of being walking vagina's and breasts to men who could not care less about us as people. 1
Imported Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I can tell that women can tell what I want. I think a lot of times I am really obvious. I don't even have to say one word lol.
Author singlelife Posted April 6, 2016 Author Posted April 6, 2016 Is this a trick question? Because 99% of the time if a guy is talking to you he's wanting sex. Unless he's a coworker, boss, professional capacity and it's clear he's talking to you about that. If you are asking can women sniff out that a guy will be a waste of her time because he just wants to get his end in? Yes big time. It doesn't take long before most women can smell a sex shopper from a mile away. We're not stupid, we know that many men just see a walking vagina and pair of breasts when they look at a female they find attractive. We know that most of the time he isn't interested in a relationship he's just interested in a warm place to put his dick. That's why women aren't usually all that receptive to some randoms overtures. That's why the whole 'make him work for it' train of thought came in. Because we are sick of being walking vagina's and breasts to men who could not care less about us as people. I get it. Guys really are a trip huh lol.
preraph Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I know the last thing guys want to seem is infantile, but there are some that are so single-minded and sex-centric that they may as well be wearing two big neon arrows pointing downward in a V from their shoulders. Sly.
phineas Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Women don't care what you want unless you are being unwittingly persistant, or if they want to make babies with you. The basic knowledge is if you start actively expressing interest in a woman, she knows it's because of physical attraction. She then decides wether or not you're worth her time. If you're a hot guy, you can directly cut to the chase and ask for sex, 1 out of 10 won't be looking for a relationship and jump on your lap. Nah, I've gotten laid/dating just by walking away from women who wanted me to chase/be persistent. and FYI I also wasn't just looking for sex. I was looking to date but got tired of the hot/cold games and other crap. It all comes down to attraction & whether or not a woman values you too much to let you get away.
HillValley Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Nah, I've gotten laid/dating just by walking away from women who wanted me to chase/be persistent. and FYI I also wasn't just looking for sex. I was looking to date but got tired of the hot/cold games and other crap. It all comes down to attraction & whether or not a woman values you too much to let you get away. **Claps** If women were as insightful as they think they are, the whole "I thought I could change him" wouldn't be a thing I see so many times. I feel like a lot of women would be happier in their younger years if they'd learned to listen to the alarms in their heads early on. Guys aren't complicated cause there's nothing to gain from being aloof, indirect, or distant. "you're hot, I wanna be around you." That's it. That's 99% of all male thought process when seeing a woman he likes.
preraph Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 **Claps** If women were as insightful as they think they are, the whole "I thought I could change him" wouldn't be a thing I see so many times. I feel like a lot of women would be happier in their younger years if they'd learned to listen to the alarms in their heads early on. Guys aren't complicated cause there's nothing to gain from being aloof, indirect, or distant. "you're hot, I wanna be around you." That's it. That's 99% of all male thought process when seeing a woman he likes. I believe that is true, but I also believe that's why women feel they need to change them, because no woman wants someone that single-minded. Being attracted to hot women isn't a skill that will benefit a marriage and being a parent. And it isn't anything that would make a man interesting to a woman. It's boring and monotonous when someone is a broken record like that. Most men aren't quite that bad and have some other virtues, but just the fact that that is indisputably number one is so shallow that it's just incomprehensible to most women.
HillValley Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 I believe that is true, but I also believe that's why women feel they need to change them, because no woman wants someone that single-minded. Being attracted to hot women isn't a skill that will benefit a marriage and being a parent. And it isn't anything that would make a man interesting to a woman. It's boring and monotonous when someone is a broken record like that. Most men aren't quite that bad and have some other virtues, but just the fact that that is indisputably number one is so shallow that it's just incomprehensible to most women. Why do we think so many people get set-up by friends? Judging someone's character longterm is hard and subject to internal bias. Whether or not it's a guy just wanting sex or someone who is a "good guy." Wanting to be around the women is his reason for crossing to the other side of the room to talk to her. If I need a pencil for class, I can ask anyone in the room including the teacher. Whether or not the girl picks the gangly, awkward nerd or the jock, or the pot-head slacker is her own reasons. Some of which she may not even understand. My point is that everyone has a learning curve. Being able to determine character is far more difficult than whether a man is sexual interested in you. Women like confidence so the guy asking for pencil cause he's too insecure to simply ask her out will probably fly by her radar as anything but awkward talk.
preraph Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Why do we think so many people get set-up by friends? Judging someone's character longterm is hard and subject to internal bias. Whether or not it's a guy just wanting sex or someone who is a "good guy." Wanting to be around the women is his reason for crossing to the other side of the room to talk to her. If I need a pencil for class, I can ask anyone in the room including the teacher. Whether or not the girl picks the gangly, awkward nerd or the jock, or the pot-head slacker is her own reasons. Some of which she may not even understand. My point is that everyone has a learning curve. Being able to determine character is far more difficult than whether a man is sexual interested in you. Women like confidence so the guy asking for pencil cause he's too insecure to simply ask her out will probably fly by her radar as anything but awkward talk. Right, but it's not like their lack of confidence is confined only to being shy with women. I found this out because I will go talk to people, even shy people, and I've dated a couple, and eventually, they just seemed weak to me, mostly in social situations, but also in practical everyday things like needing to fix a problem with a service person or a phone bill. They weren't assertive enough to even hold up their end of things and I would have to do it all. Not saying plenty of women aren't also like that, but just saying it's not just a "tiny flaw," being awkward and fearful -- it comes up in every facet of living and is generally a deficit. They come up light.
Shanex Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Yes I can. Another question? Yup. Guys are pretty easy to read. Nope and nope. I don't dispute the fact that smackie and Gaeta are intelligent according to their posting but you both either are mind reader or have mensa IQ or else you only met dumb, unsubtle guys. Some guys, and I'll agree that only a few are able of fooling a woman to get her in bed and dispose of them. Of course women do the same to foolish guys they only want a ONS with. This boils downs to the intelligence of the man to do so, and the naivety of the woman (girl?) Who will swallow the bait and his BS game like a 15 lbs bass. It's not as simple as "we women know better''.
HillValley Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Right, but it's not like their lack of confidence is confined only to being shy with women. I found this out because I will go talk to people, even shy people, and I've dated a couple, and eventually, they just seemed weak to me, mostly in social situations, but also in practical everyday things like needing to fix a problem with a service person or a phone bill. They weren't assertive enough to even hold up their end of things and I would have to do it all. Not saying plenty of women aren't also like that, but just saying it's not just a "tiny flaw," being awkward and fearful -- it comes up in every facet of living and is generally a deficit. They come up light. Agreed. A personality trait will show up in other aspects of life. Selfish people are selfish to everyone and about everything. Just because they love their mother doesn't make them not selfish, but some people will make gymnastic leaps to themselves as justification for staying with that person.
HillValley Posted April 6, 2016 Posted April 6, 2016 Nope and nope. This boils downs to the intelligence of the man to do so, and the naivety of the woman (girl?) Who will swallow the bait and his BS game like a 15 lbs bass. It's not as simple as "we women know better''. I don't think that's as true as it used to be. Sex is an important part of a relationship. Women don't have to be bound to guy who isn't sexually pleasing to them to some degree. So finding out if they are sexually compatible is important now to women and men. So unless the women is celibate, dealing with past issues, or religious, you will have sex with her if you date for some period of time. Not because you played the game the best. Assuming you're playing the numbers game on Tinder or whatever, you can easily sleep with multiple women at the same time without ever uttering the words boyfriend-girlfriend.
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