Pumping the Brakes [updated]

[Eaglescout88]

Hello, first, I assume your GF broke up with you. Same day, you go out and have a nice time with your EX. Nothing wrong with that. I don't know how long you were together or what issues you had with this EX that caused the breakup, but I can say that it's always easy to go back to what is familiar to us. I know there were some people who were very critical for how close you got with your EX on the same day that your most current GF broke up with you, but I understand on some level how this could happen. I guess the big question that I have is what do you want to get out of it? I am glad that you stopped before doing something that both of you would have regretted, but what now? Along with all of the good comes all of the reasons that the two of you broke up in the first place. If you can get past that (and the fact that both of you are rebounding), then there might be a chance at a relationship. I will pray for you. Blessings, Kevin

[WhirlwindGuy]

My initial post here, back in November of last year, was to talk about a girl I had fell hard for, very quickly, that ghosted me. We both had, what I thought, were very strong feeling for each other. We related on a ton of levels and just really felt like we clicked. It was a very intense, very whirlwind month of passion. When she disappeared I was devastated. She explained after a week of disappearing that she felt it moved too fast and wasn't ready for that. She then blocked me on phone, social media, etc. I reluctantly move on and wonder what if.

 

 

Fast forward to January, I am seeing someone else, starting to get a bit more serious, but not too much. Girl 1 contacts me and apologizes for the way she treated me, explained why she actually left. She was in a toxic relationship with a guy. When the guy found out she was moving on and she was seeing me, he came crawling back and begged and she went back. They were back on the rocks in January, we met for a drink, and just talked about it and I let her know at the time I wasn't interested in rekindling things. We text back and forth here and there maybe every other week just about random stuff. Just trying to remain friends.

 

 

Fast forward to this past weekend, my girlfriend bails and her relationship with this guy is back on the rocks. We both agree to go to dinner and commiserate. During this time the guy actually breaks it off with her officially. She is crying and feels very dejected. Turns out he was married / separated and was always back and forth with going back to his wife and her. We decide to both turn off our phones and go to a baseball game to decompress.

 

 

Was really just a friendly day. We tried to keep it plutonic and we did. The next day we hung out again, got coffee, shared stories, just making each other feel better mostly. This day ended in a make out session, and a little fooling around which we both stopped. We talked about the fact that her and I have a really strong bond, we are both extremely attracted to each other, but we are both scared of doing it wrong.

 

 

We both feel like a relationship with each other would be great in a normal circumstance, but her and I are both all over the place emotionally. We don't want to stop hanging out, but we also don't want to ruin it either and be each others rebound.

 

 

What do I do? I really like this girl a lot, I did from the moment I met her. I want it to work, I feel like we could be really good together, We already are actually. Is this doomed? How do we make this work, or at least give it a fighting chance?

 

 

I really want a chance to see if this could be real.

[RedPurpleOrange]

I know what I'd probably do. But that's not necessarily the most sensible thing.

 

 

If all else fails, do a Harvey Dent and get that coin out...

[WhirlwindGuy]

I know what I'd probably do. But that's not necessarily the most sensible thing.

 

 

If all else fails, do a Harvey Dent and get that coin out...

 

 

 

Haha, sometimes when it comes to the crap I get myself into, it sounds like the most sensible choice.

[smackie9]

Keep in light contact but don't start hanging out.....or you both will just rebound off each other.

 

You both need to heal on your own, or you will end up using each other as a crutch.

 

I dunno man, this girl had an affair with a married man, started dating you, then went back to him without a word. This girl is unstable, and makes poor choices....it might not be a good idea to get involved.

[Satu]

View it as a *possibility* for the future.

 

You both know that it's not something to peruse at this time.

 

Light and easy infrequent contact.

 

 

Take care.

[SherryEast]

I have NEVER expected a man to take care of me and me just not work - this is crazy in today's miserable economy.

[WhirlwindGuy]

Why is the "what I should do" always the exact opposite of the "what I want to do"??

 

 

Why does this girl have some sort of magnetism over me. Ive never met someone that does this to me. makes me completely forgo all good decision making and just nod like an automaton.

 

 

That says something bad about me im sure...