Why do I feel jealous towards my cousin?

[temmsmp6]

Ok so growing up I have been best friends with my cousin. He is more like a brother to me. Growing up I had always envied him. He was on the wealthy side, and I was poor. His mom was a nurse, my dad was a janitor. He was lean and athletic I was fat (I worked really hard at losing weight, but people still viewed me as the awkward kid that followed him around) He was so outgoing and could make friends so easily, yet I was awkward and he was really my only friend. On my 16th birthday I brought a cheap hunk of junk car that I could afford, he goes out and buys a brand new car. Girls always thought he was attractive. He had so many girlfriends growing up (Which I can't lie, he is a pretty attractive dude). Though growing up I was always incredibly smart. I've always gotten straight A's. I've been studying to become a doctor. I've worked really hard at it and can't imagine not becoming a doctor. My cousin just announced to our family that he too, is studying to become a doctor. Everyone in my family is so happy for him. They threw a party for him. My grandma cried. Nobody did that for me. In fact a few of my family member doubted I was even smart enough to become a doctor. People always view me in his shadow. I've worked so hard to try to become my own person. I love my cousin and only wish him the best, and I do hope he becomes a doctor together. Haha we could be doctors together. But I can't help but feel jealous. Any advice?

[AlexDream]

Ok so growing up I have been best friends with my cousin. He is more like a brother to me. Growing up I had always envied him. He was on the wealthy side, and I was poor. His mom was a nurse, my dad was a janitor. He was lean and athletic I was fat (I worked really hard at losing weight, but people still viewed me as the awkward kid that followed him around) He was so outgoing and could make friends so easily, yet I was awkward and he was really my only friend. On my 16th birthday I brought a cheap hunk of junk car that I could afford, he goes out and buys a brand new car. Girls always thought he was attractive. He had so many girlfriends growing up (Which I can't lie, he is a pretty attractive dude). Though growing up I was always incredibly smart. I've always gotten straight A's. I've been studying to become a doctor. I've worked really hard at it and can't imagine not becoming a doctor. My cousin just announced to our family that he too, is studying to become a doctor. Everyone in my family is so happy for him. They threw a party for him. My grandma cried. Nobody did that for me. In fact a few of my family member doubted I was even smart enough to become a doctor. People always view me in his shadow. I've worked so hard to try to become my own person. I love my cousin and only wish him the best, and I do hope he becomes a doctor together. Haha we could be doctors together. But I can't help but feel jealous. Any advice?

 

The only thing you should understand and, which is more important, admit is that the life is full of injustice.

 

Simultaneously, let's speculate about the issue. You're studying for becoming a doctor, right? Do you really do it for recognition among your circle or yourself?

 

You don't need to be jealous to your cousin but open-minded and helpful. Just try to help him with subjects he isn't good at, cooperate! You will see your influence on his life and so do the others! Just release these destructive thoughts about unfairness and go to your goals.

 

 

The reason of your jealousy is that feeling of being your cousin's shadow. And that's not about the others - that's only in your own head! You have an extremely low self-esteem so you need to work in this direction.

 

My advice here is that you should concentrate on your aims and you will find recognition among other students and professionals. Then, I strongly believe, you'll see support from your relatives.

[cococat]

It sounds like you've put up with quite a lot, and it's only normal for you to feel unjustice and jealousy. Life is unfair after all. Sometimes it just seems like some people are "born with" advantages against others. I've often felt this unjustice too, and in the end the only one who got hurt from these feelings was myself.

 

The thing about kids who were born into rich families is that on the outside, they appear to have it all - money, looks, etc... but they often lack the ability to survive on their own or to solve problems because everything is handed to them. Mind you, I am just making an observation here from what I've seen... I'm not saying that "all wealthy people are bad people" or anything. My point is, all people have their problems even if you can't see it. In the end, for your own happiness, it's how you use what you have that matters. And when you are happy with yourself, only then can you direct positive energy outward and bring good to others, such as becoming a doctor and helping people. I myself am working on gathering positive energy, otherwise I get into a slump.

 

I'd suggest directing your focus toward your own studies and goals, rather than comparing yourself to him. Make a list of all your talents and positive traits, as well as the things you are thankful for. Just forget about him. I'm sure he's not all that perfect as you described

 

Again, it's okay to feel jealous and disappointed sometimes. I'm sure everybody feels that way at points of their life. You could have all the money and looks in the world and still be unhappy, thinking, "I may be a millionaire, but that guy's a billionaire." It's all about your point of view. Also, surround yourself with people who are similar to yourself and who you can identify with, instead of being entangled with your cousin.

Good luck!