Bad work anxiety, how do I treat it without a therapist?

[chelle21689]

I worry constantly about work performance, making mistakes, being fired, heavy workloads, etc. I have been at this job for almost 6 weeks now and I can say I know most of the job functions about 90% but I do have to ask my trainer questions to learn. It is affecting me because I start to feel sick and have terrible headaches to the point I want to run away and hide.

 

This is my 3rd "real" job. I was not like this with my last job because it was really easy and I didn't care too much to get fired since I was unhappy being a temp for over a year. I also was super close to my coworkers and my boss was never really there and was really chill. This job on the other hand has great pay and benefits but is very challenging. Sometimes I get a heavy workload all at once, people bother me and I have to multi-task, it's very detailed, and I work in a more conservative environment. I think my fear comes from my very very first job when it was super toxic and everything I did was wrong, manager hated me, and I got laid off. So I guess I'm a bit scared of it happening again and I'm scared I won't be good at my new job.

 

I asked my trainer feedback on how I've been doing so far hoping it'd help. She said I've made strides since we first started and overall really good. I've made mistakes along the way but that's normal and how I learn. Then she told me to watch time sensitivity which is the hardest part of the job and get things done in payroll before the deadline. I then worried if I did something to make her say this...I also didn't understand because some papers I can't turn in until a new hire gives me their forms no matter how much I bug them so I need clarification when she comes back from vacation... But I guess it's good feedback but still I feel sick to my stomach thinking about failing. I asked her how long it took to master the job and she said 3 years because of inconsistencies with the job! I hate feeling stupid and needy.

 

It affects my life and over the weekend and work is in the back of my mind. I try to rationalize it by telling myself but it doesn't help. The weird thing is I feel less stressed when I am working. I think because I'm facing my "fear" trying actively to work it out.

 

Any techniques that can help? I think I may seek professional help if I don't feel better as time goes on. Right now I'm pretty much ok...some days I'm not. I notice days I feel great when I can do the work with ease...it's when the workload gets heavy and I have to ask questions or when I make mistakes when I feel sick inside.

[d0nnivain]

A therapist may be helpful but perhaps a job coach would be more practical. Being conscientious is a good thing.

[whichwayisup]

Cognitive behaviour therapy is the type of counseling will be really helpful.

 

If you want to try it on your own first, then go to your local bookstore and get some books. Dr Steven Burns books are good and Sam Obitz anxiety books are fantastic, they have the TEA forms you do daily and teaches you how to control anxiety etc...understand it and cope with it in a healthier way.

 

Yoga, meditation. daily!!!

 

Buy the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

[Buddhist]

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Edited April 15, 2016 by Buddhist

[thecrucible]

You shouldn't beat yourself up because of parts of the job you have been critiqued on. Everyone works differently and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. I would recommend that you try and de-personalise the feedback. I also think getting exercise helps, and trying to mentally space off the job in your mind - so as soon as you've clocked off that's it and try not to take the worries of the job out of work.

[acrosstheuniverse]

There's a lot you can do with cognitive behavioural therapy without a therapist. Things like working on relaxation techniques (calm diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation), thought challenging and taking a closer look at your behaviours to make sure you're not doing anything to exacerbate it (such as avoidance or safety behaviours) can really help. There are also techniques to help with worry management, such as 'worry time'.

 

CCI (google it) have some great worksheets, and also some great courses with around eight modules in each that you can work through at your own pace, focusing on stuff like generalised anxiety, social anxiety, panic. Honestly, CBT is a very self-help therapy anyway, most of the time it's guided self help in therapy so the therapist guides the patient or client through how to help themselves and basically provides guidance and encouragement and accountability. But if you have the motivation (and I am sure you do, to be posting on here!) you can do a tonne of it for yourself. Maybe google for some anxiety support forums or CBT support forums too, for that extra bit of back up, and don't be afraid to seek professional help if you're not getting anywhere.

 

Managing anxiety with CBT for dummies is a great book, too. Very useful.

[Buddhist]

I can't recommend the Happiness Trap & Reality Slap by Russ Harris enough. Small workbooks that use similar techniques to CBT and are just a mindfulness version of the same thing if I'm being honest. I've done both and found the Harris stuff to be more effective than straight CBT.

 

You can probably get the books from your library they are popular enough.

[Rachel39]

I am a massive worrier have bee for years, I take magnesium which has really helped calm my mind as it's a natural relaxant.

 

I'm not saying it will change your problems but if you can slow down the anxiety you can see things a lot clearer.

 

Do you also jog/run this helps too!

[whichwayisup]

I am a massive worrier have bee for years, I take magnesium which has really helped calm my mind as it's a natural relaxant.

 

I'm not saying it will change your problems but if you can slow down the anxiety you can see things a lot clearer.

 

Do you also jog/run this helps too!

 

How does the Magnesium help? Did you have any side effects aka upset stomach?