aelvidge Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Me and my boyfriend of a year broke up a week ago, he did it. We have broken up once in the past but he soon realised the mistake he made a couple days later and we got back together. It's been clear to me since day one he has had some mental health issues and after hearing about his past (mum abusing him) I understand more now. He says he's having different thoughts, has he done the right thing or made a mistake and also said he realises he's lost the best thing that's ever happened to him. I suggested him going to the doctors to try and talk to someone about his mental health and even offered to go with him. He is petrified of going to see someone so scared that they will put him on pills. His dad doesn't know much about it and neither do any of his friends. The thing is he realises he's making a mistake and I wish I could make him see. I don't want to push him to get things sorted but I also don't think we can't be together when he's hot and cold all the time. I love him so much and just want him to get it sorted. Advice please??
carhill Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 As an outsider, here's my quick triage... You've been together a year. If you had to put a percentage on your relationship's health in that year, how would it go? 80% healthy, 50% healthy, etc.... Does he get on well with his closest male friends? How do things go when you are all together? Are they tight buds? Has he ever talked about seeing a psychological professional in the past? If so, when? Also, had he mentioned getting a routine physical in the year you've known him? If so, when? Does he have any substance abuse issues? Drink a lot? Stoned? Other vices? TBH, while it usually doesn't happen that way, I think folks who have personal struggles should work them out on their own rather than subjecting others to dealing with them or taking on the role of caretaker or therapist. After spending a goodly amount of time doing that as a young man and gathering up the dope of the year medals regularly, I finally said enough was enough. There's always someone else so it was win-win. Up to you.
Author aelvidge Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 I'd probably say 80% healthy. He does get on well with his friends but I think he is scared to tell them how he is feeling etc. No substance abuse at all. He just gets mixed feelings and emotions about everything so distances himself as he sees it as a way of getting through things.
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