Breakup

[crushedheart1]

Im new here and english is not my native language, bare with me if i do any misspellings and/or if im putting this thread in the wroong section.

 

Someone please help me! I dont know what to do anymore and im panicking. My gf and were together for almost 2,5 years but it has come to an end and now i dont know if i want to get back together or not, and how to do it if i want to get back together...

 

Two weeks ago she broke up with me bc she said that i havent cared for her and that ive been distant and havent been myself lately. I asked her if we could take a break for a month instead and she said yes. Two days later i couldnt bare it anymore so i took my bike and rode to her in the middle of the night. I cried like hell and ive never been that sad in my life. A day later we agreed to meet and she agreed to my suggestion to try to make it work again. Barely a week passed and after that i went on a 1 w vacation with my family. During this vacation i texted with her more than i did before (which also was one of her reasons to break up with me) and i felt like this was the beginning of something new.

 

We said that we would meet the day after i got home and so we did. As soon as i saw her i noticed that something was wrong. She said that she wants to break up again bc it wont work. I told her that barely a week has passed with us being together again but it didnt matter. She crushed my heart once again and now im here.

 

So my soulmate broke up with me two days ago and i cant handle it. At the breakup we told weach other that we will still be friends and i want it to be that way ( if i dont decide that i want us to get back together) I miss her so ****ing much that it hurts (although ive felt like we should break up before) and i dont know what feel. Do i really miss her or do i just miss having someone by my side. I really feel like talking to her but im doing the NC thing because im not sure yet if i want us to get back or not.

 

When will i know what i feel and what i want to do next?

 

Sorry for the very long post but im absolutely lost.

[Steven1]

I think that she had made up her mind before this to end things with you sadly. Suggesting a break for a month was probably the deciding factor for her. She may have been hoping that you had suggested that you and her fix/work on things before taking a break. I think the break was just the final line for her. If you had been acting different/distant towards her for quite some time, she probably felt as though you had moved on from the relationship too.

 

You could try and have a talk with her, explain that you have changed and that you want to work on the relationship. Sadly there is very little else you can do at this point.

[Satu]

Sorry that you're hurting, but what you are feeling is perfectly normal, and to be expected.

 

You're not sure about your feelings, and thats normal too.

 

Ambivalence.

 

 

There is nothing you can do to make her come back, if she doesn't of her own free will, want to.

 

 

Not long letters of apology.

Not tears.

Not begging and pleading.

Not buying roses.

Not 'fighting for the relationship.'

Not writing poems.

Etc...

 

 

Leave her totally alone.

 

 

It is possible that she'll miss you and will want you back.

 

It is also possible that she won't.

 

Do nothing.

 

No contact.

[Mrin]

^^^^^ what Satu said.

 

The other thing you probably are facing is that most women do not take breaking up a serious relationship lightly. She's probably spent a lot of time on it. Talked to many of her friends about it. Came to her conclusion. And now she's invested in that conclusion. You have to let her figure out if that conclusion is right and the only way to do it is to let her experience life completely without you.

[crushedheart1]

Thank you guys so much for your replies. I cant explain how much it means to me. You are my heroes.( Sorry for being so emotional)

 

I've been insecure about the entire relationship for a long time and we've spoken about it together. That must've added to her decision to break up with me. But all I feel now after two days is that I miss her like I don't know what and I just want to lay down in her lap and arms and just cry and explain to her that I need her like never before.

 

When will I know if these are my true feelings of love and care for her and not just the feeling of loneliness? ( when will I know if it is real and worth fighting for or just know that we're better off as friends?

[Steven1]

You will feel like this for a few days or more, it's natural. Often at the point of break up funny enough it's not to bad, it's the days AFTER that hit us the hardest. I think you will know eventually what the right decision is, all you can do is have a chat with her and see what she says but I suspect her mind is made up sadly.