Aisling.25 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I've only started dating this guy it's been going great and he has started to call me his girlfriend so things were going in the right direction. So he added me the other day on fb, I started having a little nose and I noticed he still has pictures of his ex girlfriend on it so I clicked on her name and they are still friends. Just out of curiosity I checked his ig and she's been commenting on all his pictures. They were together for 5 years so it's a long time and a lot of history. I know to most people you probably think I'm being childish and Insecure but it's really after giving me doubts. I never stay friends with an ex even when it ended on good terms I think it's better just to leave it in the past because it would just cause problems in new realtionships. I know in the long run its only going to cause problems because I'm just not comfortable with it. Is it wrong of me to ask him to delete her from everything? I really don't know what to do. Any advice ?
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 My sister is friends with pretty much all her ex's and they are friends with her current chap too. I never understood that as, like you, I've never stayed in touch with any of them. People are different and depending on how they broke up, it may be just very friendly between them. They may have separated for mutual happy reasons. I reckon before you go demanding things, you should at least found out what the deal is. For all you know, she could be happy in another relationship and truly just be his friend. However, as it makes you uncomfortable, you do need to talk about that. Bottling it up will just get your mind wandering and then you'll be overthinking every single time she posts a "like" on one of his pictures. 1
stillafool Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Is it wrong of me to ask him to delete her from everything? I really don't know what to do. Any advice ? No it's not wrong of you to ask him to remove her, but you shouldn't have to. I think you already know this guy is no where near over this girl (as stated in your other thread). She cheated on him, went with the guy she cheated with and now apparently wants him back. He is still talking to her because he's not over her yet. He really shouldn't even be in a relationship because he is still pinning for his ex.
neowulf Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 As someone who's remained friendly with ex's, I think it really comes down to how adult people are willing to be about the situation. A relationship is separate from the people involved. You can have a romantic partnership, have it not work out, yet still value the friendship of the person. People can and do get over things. You can get to the point where you care for another person, yet feel no romantic attraction to them. Sure, it's not always possible, but in the end, making demands on others because of your own insecurity doesn't sit well with me. I've had partners give me a hard time about ex's in the past. In the end, it's either something they can learn to deal with, or we're probably not going to be a great match.
SunnyWeather Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I've only started dating this guy it's been going great and he has started to call me his girlfriend so things were going in the right direction. So he added me the other day on fb, I started having a little nose and I noticed he still has pictures of his ex girlfriend on it so I clicked on her name and they are still friends. Just out of curiosity I checked his ig and she's been commenting on all his pictures. They were together for 5 years so it's a long time and a lot of history. I know to most people you probably think I'm being childish and Insecure but it's really after giving me doubts. I never stay friends with an ex even when it ended on good terms I think it's better just to leave it in the past because it would just cause problems in new realtionships. I know in the long run its only going to cause problems because I'm just not comfortable with it. Is it wrong of me to ask him to delete her from everything? I really don't know what to do. Any advice ? I think so, it's waaay too early to impose such a demand. Maybe have a talk about it, but to put up what sounds like an ultimatum seems totally out of line
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