losangelena Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 What's your FB? I want to add you. I deactivated it last year. I totally would've accepted it, though! 1
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 I'm still not understanding how you accidentally added her. Go to your outgoing requests section and see if you accidentally added anyone else. I'm not trying to be jerk with you, I'm trying to figure out how you could add her without trying to add her. That's a possibility with the mutual friends... but she could have been looking at your page and since you have mutual friends FB recognized that and put her on the list. I opened up her profile scrolled down for 2-3 seconds. Went back. Put my phone down, finished my food then got up and went back to work. And noticed on my walk back that I had a notification saying she had accepted my friend request. I must have pressed add friend without knowing. I certainly didn't know. If I did it deliberately I wouldnt have made this thread.
SwordofFlame Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 My advice is to pretend like nothing happened...if you want nothing to happen. 1
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Why would your heart sink when she accepted my friend request in 10 minutes? If she thought you were creepy, she would have either not accepted or at least waited a while. Very true. Here is a Facebook insider bit of info: One of the ways Facebook decides to populate "people you may know" is by putting people there who have recently looked you up on Facebook. Again, true. However we don't know if this was the case for sure. It could have been a combination of mutual friends and their location that triggered it. If she did look him up, I wonder how she got OP's name? So, it is entirely possible that she checked you out on Facebook and was happy that you friend requested her. I don't think there would be any harm in saying hello to her and chatting with her a bit. Do not "explain yourself." Just say hello. She accepted the friend request so we can eliminate her thinking he's a creep. The next step for OP, if he wants to talk to this girl, is to send a message to her. If he wants nothing to do with her, then like another poster suggested, play it off like nothing happened.
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Very true. Again, true. However we don't know if this was the case for sure. It could have been a combination of mutual friends and their location that triggered it. If she did look him up, I wonder how she got OP's name? She accepted the friend request so we can eliminate her thinking he's a creep. The next step for OP, if he wants to talk to this girl, is to send a message to her. If he wants nothing to do with her, then like another poster suggested, play it off like nothing happened. Thanks for all your opinions. I think I'm going to go down the road of just smiling and saying hi, maybe a small bit of chit chat if I see her. I've just have to struggle through the embarrassment. If I try to explain the truth she might think I'm some sort of loser creep that's seeking her approval. If we chat more and more and she seems friendly I may think about asking her out. That's not my priority right now. Although it would probably help if I did that straight away in person
strawberryshortstack Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Are you being honest about the friend request? How did you accidentally add her? You have to hit the ADD FRIEND button and then it lights up in blue. Regardless, she accepted. You're in good standing unless she has no idea who you are? If you're telling the truth and she came up in your PYMK list without you ever looking at her profile first, then my guess is she was looking you up and was thrilled when she got the friend request. You're all set. You can either say something to her at the gym or send her a message and say: "Hey, I see you at the gym! lol. Great to connect. How are you?" It's actually quite easy to accidentally add someone using the mobile version of Facebook on a touch screen device. I have done it, but I usually realize it immediately and delete the request before it can be accepted (unless it's someone I actually wouldn't mind being connected to on Facebook).
Author python23 Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 It's actually quite easy to accidentally add someone using the mobile version of Facebook on a touch screen device. I have done it, but I usually realize it immediately and delete the request before it can be accepted (unless it's someone I actually wouldn't mind being connected to on Facebook). What would you do in my situation? Just say hi? Or try and explain yourself ? I'm dreading going to the gym
strawberryshortstack Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 What would you do in my situation? Just say hi? Or try and explain yourself ? I'm dreading going to the gym I'd just send her a quick, friendly message on facebook - maybe explain where you know her from, but nothing about the friend request. Especially don't tell her that you didn't mean to do it. And then chat with her the next time you see her at the gym. Again - friendly, with no mention of the friend request. As others have mentioned, she accepted it, so she probably wasn't freaked out by it, but mentioning it...explaining it, etc, may freak her out.
Author python23 Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 (edited) I'd just send her a quick, friendly message on facebook - maybe explain where you know her from, but nothing about the friend request. Especially don't tell her that you didn't mean to do it. And then chat with her the next time you see her at the gym. Again - friendly, with no mention of the friend request. As others have mentioned, she accepted it, so she probably wasn't freaked out by it, but mentioning it...explaining it, etc, may freak her out. Thanks. Ya see I understand where you're coming from so il do that, but I think explaining the request would make me feel better. But I see what you mean. Il leave that out. It's too late to message her now I think. It's nearly been a day. Il just say hi at the gym and try and make abit of small talk. Il have to deal with the embarrassment, there's nothing else I can do. If I was a player who was really interested in her they wouldn't think anything of it apart from the first step to getting her on a date. It's not my normal approach though as you can tell. Edited April 5, 2016 by python23
truth_seeker Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Thanks. Ya see I understand where you're coming from so il do that, but I think explaining the request would make me feel better. But I see what you mean. Il leave that out. It's too late to message her now I think. It's nearly been a day. Il just say hi at the gym and try and make abit of small talk. Il have to deal with the embarrassment, there's nothing else I can do. If I was a player who was really interested in her they wouldn't think anything of it apart from the first step to getting her on a date. It's not my normal approach though as you can tell. I'm not sure what you're embarrassed about? She accepted the friend request. You're in the clear. If she didn't, then I could see you being embarrassed.
fitnessfan365 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Couldn't this be a good thing? Send her a quick message saying that you recognized her from your gym and would love to train with her soon. If she's down, arrange a time to meet up and grab a workout. During that time, get to know her a bit. If you two click, just be honest and say "I had a great time with you today. Are you free to grab a drink sometime this week?" Then just let the rest take care of itself. 1
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Yea but he doesn't even know her. If some guy at your gym you don't know personally, you just see him there, friend requested you, you wouldn't find that strange? **I get friend requests from guys I don't know that are associated with one of my friends on FB. I'm not stupid I know their motives, I don't add them. I don't find it strange....I find it typical.
Author python23 Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 **I get friend requests from guys I don't know that are associated with one of my friends on FB. I'm not stupid I know their motives, I don't add them. I don't find it strange....I find it typical. Most guys do this a lot and it's obvious why, they see it as a way in. I've done this by accident but it's kind of forced me now to at least say hi at the gym, and that's the scary thing. She could have accepted so it wasn't as awkward at the gym as if she had declined it.
losangelena Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 But here's the thing—so what if things are a little awkward for a while? Why is it "scary?" I don't know, maybe I have a high awkwardness threshold, but in my mind, isn't it better to take a chance and stick your neck out a little bit? I mean, if the worst thing that can happen is someone's not interested, they politely return your hello, and then you can go back to ignoring each other.
truth_seeker Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 But here's the thing—so what if things are a little awkward for a while? Why is it "scary?" I don't know, maybe I have a high awkwardness threshold, but in my mind, isn't it better to take a chance and stick your neck out a little bit? I mean, if the worst thing that can happen is someone's not interested, they politely return your hello, and then you can go back to ignoring each other. I totally get what you're saying and think it's the right way to go about it... the problem though is that if you do this with the wrong person, an immature person, then they can blow it up into something ridiculous that can make your life miserable. People can be real a-holes because they have no class.
truth_seeker Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 **I get friend requests from guys I don't know that are associated with one of my friends on FB. I'm not stupid I know their motives, I don't add them. I don't find it strange....I find it typical. You didn't answer the question. I asked about a complete stranger, no mutual friends, who sees you at the gym.
Author python23 Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 You didn't answer the question. I asked about a complete stranger, no mutual friends, who sees you at the gym. We have 3 mutual friends. One of my good friends girlfriends is a friend of hers on Facebook, I've made eye contact I'd say about 10 times and said hello twice. Im hardly a stranger but obviously she doesn't know me and in my opinion I don't know her well enough to add her on social media. I wouldn't have Drempt of it delibabratly. It's done now, I can't ignore her. I know a few guys in the gym who's she's spoken to so next time il go in and speak to them. Say hi to her if I see her and hopefully it gets forgotten about. If the chance comes where I end up talking to her more then great! But for now I just need to get the feeling of embarrassment out of my head.
Mrin Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 Just say, " how you doin'?" and smile. See what happens.
Imported Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I don't understand why you'd be embarrassed about this. The truth; -You two have noticed each other before this. -You have mutual friends. -She showed up as a person you might know on FB. -You friend requested her. -She accepted. That's not an invitation to ball-sack her face, but next time you see her try saying 'hi" again, smiling and pausing and maybe she'll smile back and pause as well instead of just say hi and hurriedly walk past you. If the response is favorable, than maybe just talk about what friends you have in common.
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