python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 (edited) Hello all, I'm just your average decent guy, I'm on a forum like this so that tells you what kind of guy I am. Not too confident around women but I know how to treat them. Anyway. Been seeing this girl in my gym for a few months, very attractive. Around 22 years old I would say. No idea what her name was. Anyway. All I've ever said to her is hi once. And the odd bit of eye contact. This morning she appeared on people you may know on Facebook so I opened up her profile as I recognised her. 10 minutes later I get a notification saying she accepted my friend request. My heart sank. I see this girl every day and I know how strange this may seem to her. Should I explain my self in the gym. Or just casually say hi? As you can tell I'm not a player in the slightest. She's very attractive so I'm sure she gets random adds all the time. I know I can't ignore her now. That would look very strange. I know she's single too as I've seen her on tinder today. A few friends think I'm way overthinking this but I just don't want to come across as a shy creep. I genuinely didn't mean to add her. Edited April 4, 2016 by python23
Emilia Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 It happened to me once with someone I hated! Luckily I deleted the request straight away. Just walk up to her, say her name, say hello, smile and tell her it was the touch screen but that you are pleased to be facebook friends. From her reaction it will be obvious whether she is interested 1
Maxtor Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Man, don't say anyting other than hi. If you feel awkward, that awkwardess will pass onto her. Just dont think about it too much.
Emilia Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Man, don't say anyting other than hi. If you feel awkward, that awkwardess will pass onto her. Just dont think about it too much. Definitely talk to her, it's your opportunity, don't be negative! A bit of shyness can be cute 1
losangelena Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Well, she did accept it, so she must not think you're so weird. 5
JustGettingBy Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 No need for you to really do anything. I think you're over reacting, fb isn't the end-all-be-all.
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Say hi and jus walk off? I have zero game when it comes to things like this. I'm confident in other things like how to treat people and how I look but I've never been one for chat up lines.
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Tell you have an app installed that automatically finds and then sends friend requests to girls it thinks you should get to know... it's totally out of your control. In other words, make light of it, but definitely say something, even if it's just a hello. She knows you've found her on FB, she knows you've been looking for her on there, so she also knows you've been thinking about her lately... but... you know she's also accepted the request. Do not make the first bit of contact be over social media, do it face to face. Keep it real, be yourself and if she just asks why, just tell her what you told us. Remember though that as much as you're worrying about the request you sent, keep reminding yourself that she accepted it. Been worse if she'd have not... 1
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Thanks for your reply but it may have been better if she didn't accept as I didn't know I'd sent it in the first place. I wouldn't have this worry if that was the case
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 It's happened, you can't change it. Focus on the fact she accepted. Now just say hi next time you see her and see how she is. You are over thinking this way too much... but we all do that when it comes to fancying someone.
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 It's happened, you can't change it. Focus on the fact she accepted. Now just say hi next time you see her and see how she is. You are over thinking this way too much... but we all do that when it comes to fancying someone. That's true. I just don't want to come across as a creep that's All. I know I'm not. I know in a decent guy. It's just annoying that I didn't mean to do it.
Mrin Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Somewhere some woman is having a conversation with her girlfriends that goes a little like, "OMG, that cute guy I see at the gym all the time just friended me. Do you think he likes me?!?!?!" Just go with it dude. It will be a funny story to tell your grandchildren. 2
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 It seems to be the norm to be added to FB.....she obviously remembers you from the gym. Just introduce yourself, have some chit chat and let things happen organically.
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 That's true. I just don't want to come across as a creep that's All. I know I'm not. I know in a decent guy. It's just annoying that I didn't mean to do it. Did you send her a dick pic as well? No? Then you're fine and stop over thinking it. Like Mrin says, for all you know, she loved the fact you added her and right now is nervous wondering what she's going to say to you next time. The fact remains, you have zero to lose her and everything to gain. Plus it truly is a short funny story... enjoy it. You needed a way to break the ice, well now it's done. 1
normal person Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Tell you have an app installed that automatically finds and then sends friend requests to girls it thinks you should get to know... it's totally out of your control. In other words, make light of it, but definitely say something, even if it's just a hello. She knows you've found her on FB, she knows you've been looking for her on there, so she also knows you've been thinking about her lately... but... you know she's also accepted the request. Do not make the first bit of contact be over social media, do it face to face. Keep it real, be yourself and if she just asks why, just tell her what you told us. Remember though that as much as you're worrying about the request you sent, keep reminding yourself that she accepted it. Been worse if she'd have not... This comes off very "worrisome," which isn't a good look. "Uh, hi, sorry I friend requested you -- I have an ap that does it automatically and I totally didn't mean to." Providing unprompted explanations or excuses as to why you did something will just show all your cards. The more worried and concerned he appears about it, the less appealing he becomes. He would just be broadcasting "I'm worried about what you think." A few friends think I'm way overthinking this but I just don't want to come across as a shy creep. I genuinely didn't mean to add her. Adding someone you see sometimes on Facebook? Not very creepy Acknowledging that you added her on Facebook and insisting to her it was a mistake instead of just deleting it or ignoring it and making a relatively forgettable action seem like it's been troubling you? Not necessarily creepy, but kind of weird and definitely not in control. OP, she accepted it. You're overthinking it. It's safe to talk to her, but hopefully you've got something more to say than "hi," and hopefully about something other than Facebook. That would look very strange. I know she's single too as I've seen her on tinder today. So why even care about the Facebook thing? You swiped right, yes? So if/when you get matched, everything will be fine. 2
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Are you being honest about the friend request? How did you accidentally add her? You have to hit the ADD FRIEND button and then it lights up in blue. Regardless, she accepted. You're in good standing unless she has no idea who you are? If you're telling the truth and she came up in your PYMK list without you ever looking at her profile first, then my guess is she was looking you up and was thrilled when she got the friend request. You're all set. You can either say something to her at the gym or send her a message and say: "Hey, I see you at the gym! lol. Great to connect. How are you?" 1
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Adding someone you see sometimes on Facebook? Not very creepy Acknowledging that you added her on Facebook and insisting to her it was a mistake instead of just deleting it or ignoring it and making a relatively forgettable action seem like it's been troubling you? Not necessarily creepy, but kind of weird and definitely not in control. I'm not so sure. If I friend request someone I see at the gym when I've never spoken to them, you're telling me that's not weird? I agree the explanation is not good... just leave that part alone.
TXGuy Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 This morning she appeared on people you may know on Facebook so I opened up her profile as I recognised her. 10 minutes later I get a notification saying she accepted my friend request. My heart sank. I see this girl every day and I know how strange this may seem to her. Should I explain my self in the gym. Or just casually say hi? Why would your heart sink when she accepted my friend request in 10 minutes? If she thought you were creepy, she would have either not accepted or at least waited a while. Here is a Facebook insider bit of info: One of the ways Facebook decides to populate "people you may know" is by putting people there who have recently looked you up on Facebook. So, it is entirely possible that she checked you out on Facebook and was happy that you friend requested her. I don't think there would be any harm in saying hello to her and chatting with her a bit. Do not "explain yourself." Just say hello.
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 It seems to be the norm to be added to FB.....she obviously remembers you from the gym. Just introduce yourself, have some chit chat and let things happen organically. Yea but he doesn't even know her. If some guy at your gym you don't know personally, you just see him there, friend requested you, you wouldn't find that strange?
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Yea but he doesn't even know her. If some guy at your gym you don't know personally, you just see him there, friend requested you, you wouldn't find that strange? Yes, I would.. but I'm not her and she accepted the request. Basically, only she knows what she's thinking and only the OP can find out what that is. 1
losangelena Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I REAAAAAAAALLLLLLLYYYYYYY don't think it's that big of a deal. It's Facebook, for crying out loud. I'd get friend requests from people who I happened to be at the same party with and barely spoke to. It means literally nothing in the grand scheme of things. If she didn't want to accept your friend request—she wouldn't have! I realize it's the fact that you didn't mean to do it, but now it's happened. So what, it's not the end of the world. You don't even have to mention anything about it. The next time you see her, just say hi. Or don't! I've also gotten friend requests from people who don't remember meeting me six months later. Again, it really doesn't matter. 2
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Yes, I would.. but I'm not her and she accepted the request. Basically, only she knows what she's thinking and only the OP can find out what that is. If she were looking him up, and thats how she ended up in the PYMK list, then I can see him adding her and her accepting. She basically got caught snooping on him.
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I REAAAAAAAALLLLLLLYYYYYYY don't think it's that big of a deal. It's Facebook, for crying out loud. I'd get friend requests from people who I happened to be at the same party with and barely spoke to. It means literally nothing in the grand scheme of things. If she didn't want to accept your friend request—she wouldn't have! I realize it's the fact that you didn't mean to do it, but now it's happened. So what, it's not the end of the world. You don't even have to mention anything about it. The next time you see her, just say hi. Or don't! I've also gotten friend requests from people who don't remember meeting me six months later. Again, it really doesn't matter. What's your FB? I want to add you. 1
Author python23 Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 If she were looking him up, and thats how she ended up in the PYMK list, then I can see him adding her and her accepting. She basically got caught snooping on him. We have 3 mutual friends so this is the reason I think she appeared in that section. I can assure everyone I didn't mean to add her, that goes against everything about me and adding people on Facebook. And to be honest I don't really care if she's interested in me or not, it's purely just the embarrassment of being that guy from the gym who's never spoken to her that adds her. It's not what I do.
truth_seeker Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 We have 3 mutual friends so this is the reason I think she appeared in that section. I can assure everyone I didn't mean to add her, that goes against everything about me and adding people on Facebook. And to be honest I don't really care if she's interested in me or not, it's purely just the embarrassment of being that guy from the gym who's never spoken to her that adds her. It's not what I do. I'm still not understanding how you accidentally added her. Go to your outgoing requests section and see if you accidentally added anyone else. I'm not trying to be jerk with you, I'm trying to figure out how you could add her without trying to add her. That's a possibility with the mutual friends... but she could have been looking at your page and since you have mutual friends FB recognized that and put her on the list.
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