xUnknown Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 (edited) First off, you're not being shallow. The type that you find attractive is the type you find attractive. If the girl you're seeing has started bad habits and started to change into something you're not attractive to, that's not your fault. She has changed, not you. Honestly, I wouldn't find the weight gain as unattractive compared to the lack of motivation. I had a similar scenario with my ex. She put on weight. It was noticeable. I stuck with it and loved her all the same. Something finally clicked and she realized all the bad habits she got in. We made goals for each other. She wanted to lose weight, I wanted to tone up a bit (i'm pretty strong, but around 18% body fat, and didn't have the abs she wanted me to have). Long and short of it, I met my goals. She didn't. She actually resented me for being motivated and meeting/exceeding mine. What she thought would be a good idea for us as a couple, only ended up making this worse. Time to cut the chord on her...the dynamic of the relationship for you two has changed, and so has she. Don't keep dragging it on... Edit: As someone else mentioned, I did the whole "lets go to the gym" thing also. I go 4-5 days a week right after work. Again, resentment built up towards me because I was motivated. As elaine mentioned, its too late for that. Edited April 19, 2016 by xUnknown
dumbass2 Posted April 19, 2016 Posted April 19, 2016 (edited) "She told me her her ex of 2 years did the same thing. Broke up with her because she got big. Then she got really small in the year or so after they broke up and we met now back to big and she's not understanding why there's issues." You were sold a false bill of goods. She felt that she needs to be someone she is not in order to meet and keep a man. You should gracefully end this relationship because she is not going to change as long as you are around. People will change if they feel a loss because of their bad habits. Edited April 19, 2016 by dumbass2
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