SherryEast Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 okay so maybe it sounds silly, but I'm sure that other women will back me up on this one. A number of guys can come onto us and usually if there's no spark it's just not going to happen. There is a guy I've had communication with online, email, phone (work) and we'll be meeting up in the very near future. For some reason, I suddenly became curious about him and checked him out on Facebook and WOW he's in great shape - I like him and I feel 99.9% certain that I am going to have sex with this man. Crazy, lol!! Has this ever happened to you (men or women) that you felt this way and then how did it go?
jen1447 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Sure, happens a lot. And I pretty much always have sex w/them. Have fun, be safe, and don't forget to vet. 2
deckard11 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I've always heard that women decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if they'll have sex with him. 1
Author SherryEast Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 I've always heard that women decide within 5 seconds of meeting a man if they'll have sex with him. Yes, in most cases, the decision is made that quickly! 1
AMJ Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I think it's more like I know within 5 seconds if I DON'T want to sleep with him. 6
jen1447 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I think it's more like I know within 5 seconds if I DON'T want to sleep with him. Exactly - the green light's actually usually yellow until you get thru the intersection. 3
preraph Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 It can happen, but it can also happen that the personality doesn't match the body in person. 1
hasaquestion Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 (edited) I think that extends beyond women, by the way. I think people in general are that way. The first impression truly is everything. Most of the people I've just not gotten along with, with whom things always feel terse and awkward - it was like that from the first moment. I've always felt the best advice you can give a guy if he wants to have more success with women, is to work on your first 10 minutes. Within a 10 minutes (and that's being generous if the bit about 5 seconds above is to be believed), you can safely assume she's decided where you stand. In college I always noticed this dynamic at parties. When the house I lived in had a party, you'd get a lot of strange faces coming in and out. Groups of younger kids who are doing the party-to-party thing. Maybe this was the placebo effect but it really felt that people's perceptions of me varied wildly depending on whether they caught me on a good day or not. When I was quieter, dour, more reserved, etc. I was in the background. If I was in boisterous, confident, dancing mode, people thought I was much cooler and girls would approach me and flirt with me - even though I'm the same person. EDIT: The corollary to that observation is that "party-hopping" has never made sense to me. Best to spend the night at one party, become 'the party' yourself or at least part of it, and meet people coming to you, than to go to a few different other places, say hi to a few friends and acquaintances, and always be on the outside looking in. Edited April 4, 2016 by hasaquestion 1
Author SherryEast Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 I think that extends beyond women, by the way. I think people in general are that way. The first impression truly is everything. Most of the people I've just not gotten along with, with whom things always feel terse and awkward - it was like that from the first moment. I've always felt the best advice you can give a guy if he wants to have more success with women, is to work on your first 10 minutes. Within a 10 minutes (and that's being generous if the bit about 5 seconds above is to be believed), you can safely assume she's decided where you stand. In college I always noticed this dynamic at parties. When the house I lived in had a party, you'd get a lot of strange faces coming in and out. Groups of younger kids who are doing the party-to-party thing. Maybe this was the placebo effect but it really felt that people's perceptions of me varied wildly depending on whether they caught me on a good day or not. When I was quieter, dour, more reserved, etc. I was in the background. If I was in boisterous, confident, dancing mode, people thought I was much cooler and girls would approach me and flirt with me - even though I'm the same person. EDIT: The corollary to that observation is that "party-hopping" has never made sense to me. Best to spend the night at one party, become 'the party' yourself or at least part of it, and meet people coming to you, than to go to a few different other places, say hi to a few friends and acquaintances, and always be on the outside looking in. No I agree, but I think it's a combination. I've been working with this guy already and mind you, I've kept it very professional, didn't bother much until recently to wonder what the hell he was about, lol, but I can say this much, I NEVER had an issue/problem with him so he's made a good impression... so seeing the pics didn't hurt And he never came off as awkward, shy, or an idiot so far lol 1
hasaquestion Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 No I agree, but I think it's a combination. I've been working with this guy already and mind you, I've kept it very professional, didn't bother much until recently to wonder what the hell he was about, lol, but I can say this much, I NEVER had an issue/problem with him so he's made a good impression... so seeing the pics didn't hurt And he never came off as awkward, shy, or an idiot so far lol Go for it, so long as you don't have a reason to "not dip your pen in company ink"! 1
kismetkismet Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I don't think that I always know. Particularly with online dating because I find it really hard to judge someone's actual appearance and my attraction to them by their photos. I'm not really attracted to conventionally good looking faces and super ripped bodies and the photos that show that sort of thing usually make them look vain and thus unattractive to me. My current boyfriend has that (though he's fit from work and sport, not the gym) and I honestly don't know if i would have been attracted to him in a photo - based on how i might have judged what his appearance says about his personality haha.. Basically what i'm saying is that my attraction is kind of finicky I think.. I've also changed my mind about it after knowing someone a few months, and grown attracted to someone as well as growing unattracted to someone. however.. with the last two guys that i've dated seriously, and the only two people that i've slept with in the past 3 years, I knew right away.. or.. my super drunk self did - met them, slept with them the first night i met them, and then dated and eventually fell in love with them haha. Maybe drunk me knows better than sober me. Or maybe it's being a bit older, who knows! (I'm 30 and live with my bf and we hope to get married in the next couple of years) 1
joseb Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 (edited) Personally, I would not even meet up with a woman if I didn't think that I wanted to have sex with her. I won't know that for sure until I meet her though. And I won't know that in 5 seconds - as AMJ said, I'll know if I don't in 5 seconds. But I would never go assuming a 99% chance that sex was going to happen! Maybe that's because I'm a guy - maybe girls just think if they want sex then the guy will too - I never assume the reverse Edited April 4, 2016 by joseb 2
Author SherryEast Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 I don't think that I always know. Particularly with online dating because I find it really hard to judge someone's actual appearance and my attraction to them by their photos. I'm not really attracted to conventionally good looking faces and super ripped bodies and the photos that show that sort of thing usually make them look vain and thus unattractive to me. My current boyfriend has that (though he's fit from work and sport, not the gym) and I honestly don't know if i would have been attracted to him in a photo - based on how i might have judged what his appearance says about his personality haha.. Basically what i'm saying is that my attraction is kind of finicky I think.. I've also changed my mind about it after knowing someone a few months, and grown attracted to someone as well as growing unattracted to someone. however.. with the last two guys that i've dated seriously, and the only two people that i've slept with in the past 3 years, I knew right away.. or.. my super drunk self did - met them, slept with them the first night i met them, and then dated and eventually fell in love with them haha. Maybe drunk me knows better than sober me. Or maybe it's being a bit older, who knows! (I'm 30 and live with my bf and we hope to get married in the next couple of years) Yes, all of the above is true! I did recently like a guy a lot, got to know him, lost the attraction! But with this one, certain things in a man that I want, I know already he has so it's not just looks. It's more than that.
Author SherryEast Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 Personally, I would not even meet up with a woman if I didn't think that I wanted to have sex with her. I won't know that for sure until I meet her though. And I won't know that in 5 seconds - as AMJ said, I'll know if I don't in 5 seconds. But I would never go assuming a 99% chance that sex was going to happen! Maybe that's because I'm a guy - maybe girls just think if they want sex then the guy will too - I never assume the reverse Oh exactly, attraction has to be there, especially if it's dating and not someone say you met at work and became attracted to over time... but see what I mean? You know right away if you want to have sex with them or not! lol
Recommended Posts