bettermistakes Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 I have been seeing a guy lately who has a lot of great qualities - consistent, reliable, thoughtful, considerate, insightful, a hard worker, a good dad, etc. etc. Just generally seems to be a pretty great human being. He's taken me on some really nice dates and it's been lovely. On our last date a week ago, he invited me over to his house to have dinner and watch the Walking Dead. Sounded like fun, and also I was curious about what he was going to try physically, because until that point, he'd only given the briefest of kisses at the end of dates. To the point where I kind of wondered if he was actually interested. Anyway, he didn't make his move until almost 11pm, after I'd been there for nearly 4 hours. I really want to give this guy a chance, but it was all very awkward, and weirdly half-hearted (at least from my perspective). I didn't feel any escalating attraction/desire coming from him. It was so tepid. I thought at first maybe he's just really shy/nervous/out of practice, but he still awkwardly asked me if I wanted to go back to his room. I declined. He is otherwise a great guy and I don't want to call it quits just yet. Anyone else deal with this kind of thing? I googled "bad kisser" (poor guy - may he never see or hear of any of this) and all the results were about how to teach someone to kiss better. I am NOT interested in being a 41 year-old man's kissing/physical relationship tutor. That is just so unappealing to me. I'm wondering if I can sort of prod/needle him flirtatiously into being more assertive physically. Would that be a good approach to take? Are there better ones? I'm thinking saying to him "Kiss me like a man!" probably wouldn't be advisable, though that's it in a nutshell...
normal person Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 If you're that bothered by it, I'd move on. If you don't give him a guiding hand, you're going to be unsatisfied. If you do, the fact that you had to teach this 41 year old man how to kiss and take charge will likely kill all your attraction to him anyways, as it sounds like it's starting to do already. It just doesn't bode well either way. If he doesn't get you excited, or if he just naturally has mannerisms and behavioral quirks like this that just turn you off, my guess is that it won't get any better any time soon. You either like someone or you don't -- if you're in the middle, you don't. Time to move on, I'd say.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 I have been seeing a guy lately who has a lot of great qualities - consistent, reliable, thoughtful, considerate, insightful, a hard worker, a good dad, etc. etc. Just generally seems to be a pretty great human being. He's taken me on some really nice dates and it's been lovely. On our last date a week ago, he invited me over to his house to have dinner and watch the Walking Dead. Sounded like fun, and also I was curious about what he was going to try physically, because until that point, he'd only given the briefest of kisses at the end of dates. To the point where I kind of wondered if he was actually interested. Anyway, he didn't make his move until almost 11pm, after I'd been there for nearly 4 hours. I really want to give this guy a chance, but it was all very awkward, and weirdly half-hearted (at least from my perspective). I didn't feel any escalating attraction/desire coming from him. It was so tepid. I thought at first maybe he's just really shy/nervous/out of practice, but he still awkwardly asked me if I wanted to go back to his room. I declined. He is otherwise a great guy and I don't want to call it quits just yet. Anyone else deal with this kind of thing? I googled "bad kisser" (poor guy - may he never see or hear of any of this) and all the results were about how to teach someone to kiss better. I am NOT interested in being a 41 year-old man's kissing/physical relationship tutor. That is just so unappealing to me. I'm wondering if I can sort of prod/needle him flirtatiously into being more assertive physically. Would that be a good approach to take? Are there better ones? I'm thinking saying to him "Kiss me like a man!" probably wouldn't be advisable, though that's it in a nutshell... Are you saying he hasn't dated that much even though he is 41?
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