dragonwalker Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) So I went on a first date with a girl I just chatted to online through okcupid. We met at the farmer's market. I greeted her with a hug and we walked in together. She seemed a bit shy at first and initially didn't open up that much. I felt a bit nervous as I always do in these kinds of things. I felt like I asked her a lot of questions to keep the conversation going. We were able to talk throughout and I think it went ok. We walked and chatted, then we found an area to sit, the sun was coming down on her so we walked over to a more secluded area to sit down and talk. We were together for about 2 hours. We talked about all sorts of things and she opened up a bit more. We do have a variety of shared interests and I thought she was very cool. She seems to be a very modest person that I'd like to get to know more. Eventually I was the one who actually made the move to wrap it up. We parted ways by hugging again. I wanted to arrange for a 2nd date but I only managed to say that we should talk soon. I was thinking later today I would text her that I had a good time and suggest at that time to meet. She didn't say she had a good time but I don't know if she was just shy or was thinking this wasn't going to work out. I like how both of us remained engaged and focused in our conversation. For instance she wasn't texting or doing anything else with her phone. I just kind of felt a bit like our conversation was very superficial and not really about anything important. Is that more the norm than not? I tried to bring up a more serious and emotional subject by referencing a bit of a controversial movie and asking her thoughts on it but she shyed away from a direct answer. Not sure if I made her feel uncomfortable. Any of you have any great suggestions at this point? Also, she provided her phone number, do you think it's ok that I text her the message or should I use the online app messaging system? Edited April 3, 2016 by dragonwalker
LAtoChiGuy Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 Yes, text her. Recall something funny from the date. After some banter ask her out again. Since you did something outside and loud (depending on how crowded the market was) already, I would suggest something quieter and inside. Maybe visit a bookstore or a museum. If things are going well, an impromptu dinner. Also never forget the power of bowling. If second date goes well... CALL HER I figure this with OLD or meeting someone the same way. OLD messaging/meeting = first encounter First date = getting to know each other, trial run (kiss optional) Second date = first real date (kiss necessary) After a first real date, texting to set up further dates is super lame in my opinion.
LAtoChiGuy Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 I wanted to arrange for a 2nd date but I only managed to say that we should talk soon. Also don't do that on any date, at least not early on. It is alright to end it with 'talk to you later' or 'see you soon' but setting up the next date while on a current date is a little strange. Do you do that with any other friends? When you go drinking with a friend as you're jumping in an uber do you then tell your friend, "see you next Tuesday for darts?" No. So why do that with someone you are casually dating at this point?
angel.eyes Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 I would text her, or better yet call her, and ask for another date. Don't wait. FWIW, pretty much every guy I've dated has asked for a second date at the end of the first date. Then they'll contact me the next day with final details. You want to keep the momentum and excitement going after you first meet. The longer you wait, the more likely the initial spark is to die off. Two hours spent with a complete stranger from OLD is a pretty tenuous connection, even if the date was amazing. You want to build on that fairly quickly by setting up the second date.
Author dragonwalker Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Also don't do that on any date, at least not early on. It is alright to end it with 'talk to you later' or 'see you soon' but setting up the next date while on a current date is a little strange. Do you do that with any other friends? When you go drinking with a friend as you're jumping in an uber do you then tell your friend, "see you next Tuesday for darts?" No. So why do that with someone you are casually dating at this point? Regarding the second date and how I felt. It was based off a suggestion on another post about what that person suggested that I do and apparently another poster on this topic as well. I have to admit I wouldn't feel comfortable setting up the next date on the first one as it feels like putting someone on the spot but I will be asking later today and I like that suggestion about recalling something funny.
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