My story

[blue_daisy]

It was 2 months since my ex-boyfriend broke up after our 1-year relationship. Our relationship was fine all the while (or I thought it was) up till the very end of it. I didn't really thought that we had any problem, we didn't quarrel at all, only arguments on opinions. I was contented and happy and we were celebrating our first year anniversary. But on that night itself he told me that "I think we are better off being friends". His reason being that I was too naggy, we weren't compatible and he wasn't as attracted to me as he used to be in the past. At that moment I was shocked and confused to the point where I was just stunned for a while before making a response.

 

He was my first and I was his second. I even hoped to marry him one day. But my world came crashing in when he decided to make that announcement. I decided to accept this breakup despite my heart screaming not to. Because what's the point when one wants to work on this relationship and the other doesn't want to?

 

For these 2 months my emotions have been swinging back and forth like a pendulum. There are days when I felt good and I thought it's better this way because he doesn't know how to appreciate me enough, and there are days where I miss him so much I wished he would just turn up at one corner and begged me to be together with him again. During those bad days the good old memories will just resurface and run by itself so vividly that I just kept trying to convince my brain not to go back there again.

 

I know time heals (or rather, time numbs) but these 2 months felt extremely long. I lost my appetite and had insomnia initially, now it's much better but not 100% back to normal. This whole ordeal took 13 pounds off me. I try to stay distracted through work, shows, games etc. But when I get to bed at night the brain reactivates. After that every morning I wake up with him on my mind, again. I pray to God every day and it helps sooth my emotions but I still go back there.

 

In the beginning I confided in my group of friends especially during the really bad times but now I stopped so that they wouldn't worry about me too much. Then recently I saw him reconnecting with his first ex on facebook (he unfriended her when we started going out). It hit me hard once again and I decided to unfriend him on facebook after thinking for a few days. At first I thought we may have a chance one day but now I just want to move on. It's so, so hard.

 

So this is my story. I know this has been a drag but I really need to let this out one way or another because today is one of those bad days. Thanks for reading.

[LovelyJoey]

Don't sweat about making a long story, that's what were here for, to help you. I understand that you might not really know what happened, I just had something similar happen to me with no real explanation, but sometimes, rather we like it or not, relationships don't work out, out of the blue, and it really does hurt I feel you. You're right about time though, it does certainly heal and one day you'll meet that perfect someone you'll forget all about this jerk. Point is you did all you could for him, and you just have to hang on despite how hard it is, I know it can be REALLY hard, but it will be okay one day soon. It takes time, we all heal at different paces, so don't feel bad about what you're feeling, and like you said, one day can be the best day ever, next day you feel horrible, you just have to trust in that hope everything will be okay, and do your best to take your mind off of things. Now is a good time to pick up new hobbies or better yourself to make a positive change out of a negative situation. Never feel you cannot come here or go to your friends and family, now is a good time to lean on them. Also, for sleeping at night, perhaps listening to some music, reading, watching television before hand can take your mind off of things while you try to rest. Best of luck my friend, things WILL turn out for the better, count on that hope!

[blue_daisy]

Don't sweat about making a long story, that's what were here for, to help you. I understand that you might not really know what happened, I just had something similar happen to me with no real explanation, but sometimes, rather we like it or not, relationships don't work out, out of the blue, and it really does hurt I feel you. You're right about time though, it does certainly heal and one day you'll meet that perfect someone you'll forget all about this jerk. Point is you did all you could for him, and you just have to hang on despite how hard it is, I know it can be REALLY hard, but it will be okay one day soon. It takes time, we all heal at different paces, so don't feel bad about what you're feeling, and like you said, one day can be the best day ever, next day you feel horrible, you just have to trust in that hope everything will be okay, and do your best to take your mind off of things. Now is a good time to pick up new hobbies or better yourself to make a positive change out of a negative situation. Never feel you cannot come here or go to your friends and family, now is a good time to lean on them. Also, for sleeping at night, perhaps listening to some music, reading, watching television before hand can take your mind off of things while you try to rest. Best of luck my friend, things WILL turn out for the better, count on that hope!

Thank you so much for your kind words, they are very encouraging. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this.

 

I look forward to a complete healing and another relationship to begin in the future. For now I'll be doing random stuffs to keep myself occupied. Just that often times I keep thinking of the past because somehow everything links to him and I end up hurting myself doing so.

[LovelyJoey]

Well your very welcome I'm glad to have made you feel better, I honestly know how it feels even right now to lose someone you love and the horrible feelings that go with it. You're on the right track, it takes time to heal and doing more things and being optimistic about the future and your future relationships is the key to healing, it does get better. Though I can completely relate when certain things remind you of your loved one, and unfortunately that's just how life is, you have to keep pushing through and find ways to make a positive situation out of a negative one, even with the things that make you hurt the most, and you should give yourself time before you enter triggering environments, but in no time you'll feel better and be able to handle anything that life throws your way. Have a wonderful night and stay strong my friend.

[LovelyJoey]

Also a quick suggestion, try not contacting him, it's hard to try to let go, but having him friends on facebook (glad you deleted him) and as well as keeping in contact with him isn't going to help anything but fuel the negative fire. Stay strong and sometimes you have to let go of what you want to do what's right. You'' be okay, believe me.

[blue_daisy]

I did not contact him all these while partly because I'm a passive person but mainly because I felt that he should be the one who comes to me instead of me going to him. Ego, maybe. But my behaviour to stalk him on facebook kept me from moving on and when I realize I couldn't handle the fact that he has reconnected with his first ex I immediately took him off my friends' list.

 

Letting go is hard but slow and I believe I'm heading towards the right path. I doubt that he would approach me either because he's too chicken to do that. Now that I have decided to move on, there are times when I get paranoid that I would meet him coincidentally and I wouldn't know how to react. I hope that when I do I have already gotten over him by then.

[LovelyJoey]

You are on the right path and what you're doing is good, sometimes life throws unpredictable things towards us and we must remain strong! It will take time and you will recover I promise. You've honestly done all you have for him, be proud and sleep good at night knowing you've done everything that you've needed to, it will all be okay!