xtwilight Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 (edited) Hello everyone. These past months I have been dealing with a lot of depression. Me and this guy used to be a lot in love and we even decided to move together in another country so he can continue with his studies. But after some months, he left for another city in that country and I struggle behind. When he went to a university in another city, he started chasing other girls and he did not care about the long-distance relationship with me. He emotionally abused me so much and he still acts like he does not want to be romantically involved with me, even though he 'cares' somehow about me. He said things like he never truly loved me, he just felt 'bad' for me but we can have sex even though we are not together. Everyone told me to move on, the guy is immature for a committed relationship. I keep trying and actually I developed a crush on this guy at my work. He does not work at my place anymore but by the time I knew him back then, he had a girlfriend. We did not talk that much but after he quit, I kept a bit in touch. I asked him if he was still dating that girl and he told me they broke up, so I told him about my feelings towards him and he was happy. He said we could go on a date and he would like to get to know me better before he proceeds in a relationship. We were texting all the days before our date and a day before the date, he made an 180 degree shift acting that I am too confusing, he does not know what I want out of him, that somehow I wanted to mock him about my feelings. And even though he quit from the job, he could not handle the rumors that they were creating around me and him, so he still worries that he will get more rumors because of me. So he canceled it and he said if I want his trust to send him my pictures. I did not send anything and he has not spoken to me since then, even if I tried texting him or calling him. I do not know how to deal with this. I want to get to know that guy better and I feel it is the only way to completely forget about my ex. But right now I do not know how to approach him. I could use a mutual person we both know to talk to him but I am not sure. I do not want to seem desperate either but I feel like I need the affection of somebody right now. Edited April 3, 2016 by xtwilight
username0 Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 First of all your ex is a complete waste. You shouldnt have anything to do with such a guy again. I wanna keep things clean so i won't tell you what I really think of your ex. (Dick) Dont line yourself up for hurt and dissapointment right now. This new guy doesn't really seem he knows what he wants, he no longer works there, he is single, but is concerned about what people have to say. Hope I got that correctly. Does it really seem worth it. Maybe you should just give him some space. Contact him later and be straight forward and take it from there. If he's interested he'll try, if hr isn't you know to not waste your time there.
Author xtwilight Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 Since what my ex done to me, I have such a void in my heart. I tried to get to understand him why he changed like that but he would just find my reaction entertaining somehow, even if I was crying a lot. I decided some of my pictures to the new guy, he didn't really reply so I guess he still holds some sort of grudge? Maybe he was just fooling around in the end, so I feel depressed from it it. I am not someone to chase guys like that, I only had my ex and I developed a crush for the new guy. I feel like I lack something when it comes to relationships, especially when I see younger people than me being in some good relationships. I get guys after me but it is usually the kind of males that are perverted and I do not even wear any revealing clothes to provoke them.
smudge21 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 First off, I think you need to heal from your first guy (I say "guy" but in reality he was a worm). You are trying to force out the feelings for your ex by forcing in feelings for a new guy. It doesn't work like that. Jumping from a bad break up to a new relationship will only lead to more hurt. It's like breaking your leg but thinking you can still run by favouring the other leg. You need to fully heal and that takes time. Realise that you're still in pain and that it's okay to be there and then do whatever it takes to move on, be it seeing friends, family or whatever the hell you want. Take it as me time and find your inner happiness. We all need that before we can have happiness with others.
Author xtwilight Posted April 14, 2016 Author Posted April 14, 2016 Some updates on my situation which makes me having more sad thoughts. My ex who treated me that way is trying to impress me by sending me pictures. I know I am just a fallback for him since it did not work out with the girl he has been chasing. The second guy, no sign. I tried to text him and all but I really believe he has me blocked. My friends are pushing me to go and wait for him at his workplace but I do not have the courage yet. And I am worried how he might treat me. I heard from a coworker that the guy used to be in a serious relationship with a girl that was heading to marriage even. I do not know if he lied to me that they broke up but I believe when he was flirting with me, he was with that girl. I am trying to focus on other things like my goals but such thoughts get into my head. I wanted to have a fresh start with the second guy and I felt I was so close to him but it turns out to push me away like that. I guess the fact that my ex done that to me has left me with such a void in my heart. I have some friends but it does not help much either.
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