Ostepop Posted April 3, 2016 Posted April 3, 2016 This is a bit of a ramble, so read at your own peril I'm 28 and have never been in a proper relationship before because i was hurt pretty badly many years ago after i fell head over heels in love with a girl who was at first into me, but rejected me for someone else (and being a ****ing liar about it for some time) after things were starting to look good. It was my first, and i picked up the danger signs naturally, and was losing my mind because i never understood why it was happening. I just never felt it was worth it after that, and just avoided relationships altogether. You don't crave what you've never really had, right? Well, some of us don't. So that means i'm pretty inexperienced first hand, but i'm not completely clueless. As you get older you pretty much witness most things anyway. Well, onto the main topic I and this girl i met was at this thing together for a month and we became fast friends. I pretty much found her interesting pretty quickly, and kind of liked her towards the end. I never did anything there as it would have been pretty damn awkward if she didn't feel the same. It would be in bad taste in that situation. I was expecting things to die down between us after we finished this thing, but we're talking more than ever. Always by text though (call me spineless if you wish, but that last girl never picked up the phone when i rang, so i guess i just don't want to risk experiencing that again) She's quick at responding and we have fun conversations for hours and hours. I admit, as i'm not so experienced with talking to girls, i do run out of stuff to say now and then. Pathetic, but it is what it is. We've become best friends on snap (if that even means anything, but i'd expect so since she's a snapoholic) but the flirtation has been very light. I'm a brick when it comes to flirting, but i guess that's because i've been so long without doing it, so i need to warm up to it. Well' i've given her, and also received compliments, so it's not nothing. The amount of texting and how eager she seems to be when i text, in additional to lately there being a heart sometimes in her goodnight text does reveal that she has some form of feelings for me, but i cannot say for sure what kind. My mind says she pretty much likes me, but she's never uttered a word of tangible evidence for my suspicion, so it would be horribly comic if it was some best friend thing. She's even speaking to her family about me. We're meeting up in a while because she's in the neighborhood, and if things are either the same or progressed a bit further by that time, i'm thinking of going for at the very least a kiss on the cheek, either when greeting her or saying goodbye, but i'm sure i can read the atmosphere when that time comes. She seems to eagerly await our meeting though. At this moment i don't think it would be appropriate to go for anything more until i know more about her feelings. Bit of a problem is that she lives a while away, so we don't get to meet often. But such problems would have solutions if anything were to happen anyway. Any thoughts on this? How does the good people of LS see this situation, and how would you handle it? Please take my circumstances into consideration when answering
Grey40 Posted April 4, 2016 Posted April 4, 2016 Hard to tell. Based on what you describe it almost sounds like you are just friends, snapping and texting for hours on end? That sounds very "friend zone"ish to me. That being said, you have the right idea by trying to hang out with her in person and gauge her interest. IMO, you need to go for more than just a kiss on the cheek. Go for a real kiss (obviously, if it's the right time and place). Kiss on the cheek is too "friendly" and doesn't show your romantic interest imo. To be honest though, at this point I would really just ask her straight up. You've been talking long enough to be comfortable..you need to just tell her you like her and want to take her out. If it scares her off, then so be it. I understand that could hurt the friendship, but she lives far away anyways, and you won't be wasting all night and so much of your time hoping she changes her mind.
Author Ostepop Posted April 4, 2016 Author Posted April 4, 2016 (edited) No i'm receiving snaps mostly, but otherwise it's texting. Unless you meet someone through online dating or out at a party, you mostly always start out as friends first anyway. Let's just hope i'm not friend zoned completely, if that is the case, which i doubt based on the attention she tries to give me. Edited April 4, 2016 by Ostepop
Author Ostepop Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 Hard to tell. Based on what you describe it almost sounds like you are just friends, snapping and texting for hours on end? That sounds very "friend zone"ish to me. That being said, you have the right idea by trying to hang out with her in person and gauge her interest. IMO, you need to go for more than just a kiss on the cheek. Go for a real kiss (obviously, if it's the right time and place). Kiss on the cheek is too "friendly" and doesn't show your romantic interest imo. To be honest though, at this point I would really just ask her straight up. You've been talking long enough to be comfortable..you need to just tell her you like her and want to take her out. If it scares her off, then so be it. I understand that could hurt the friendship, but she lives far away anyways, and you won't be wasting all night and so much of your time hoping she changes her mind. Well, i've been thinking about what you said, and i think it's best to plan for a way to break it to her. There was a little development, while it still wasn't any development at all based on a mistake i made. I sent her a kissing emoji, and she just completely ignored that part, but replied in her usual happy manner for everything else. I just ignored the fact that i did make a mistake, but the situation as a whole is starting to bug me a little. I just don't understand why she's so eager to speak to me like this if she wasn't the least bit interested. Sounds like a complete waste of time if you ask me. I just hate the thought of having to do anything over the phone.
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2016 Posted April 5, 2016 You can't operate like that, all negative, and pussy footing around if you are interested in dating someone. Just ask her out on a date. If she says no, then no big deal, you just move on. That is how it's done and there is no other way around it. Sending a kiss emoji out of the blue is someone who lacks confidence, when you can just come out and say that you like them and would like to go out for dinner sometime.
Author Ostepop Posted April 5, 2016 Author Posted April 5, 2016 Yeah, i don't doubt it. The emoji was a mistake though. As you can see, distance is a problem at this present time, and i really don't want to ask someone out over the phone, especially under these circumstances. Things will change when i meet her again though. I will be determined to kiss her (if the situation allows it) and tell her i'll call her sometime when we say goodbye. It's just weird to start calling now when we've just been texting like this for so long.
Recommended Posts