zack121 Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 First off, I don;t beieve in revenge in the strictest sense. As I try the buddist approach. But a friend was saying how he got revenge on his ex, and it made me wonder if people that are hurt do this?, and in the long run did it help you to move on? did u regret it. I am not really interested in posts about anything voilent as that is way outta control. I am more interested in the milder side of revenge. I used to belive in Karma, but am starting to doubt it... Questions I am interested in.. What revenge did you use Did you regret it Did it make you feel better long term Was it worth it. If you had a chance would you take it? At what cost would you take it. After you implemented it, was there any kind of pay back, as I always assume that it would lead to wars between the two parties. One for the girls, did a guy ever try and get revenge on you? how did you feel then? have you gotten revenge on an ex BF? I firmly belive and have been told by many people that the best revenge is to get on with it and have a good happy life. but my friend got me intersted in how different people view the topic. I have spoken to some guys, that are all for an eye for an eye, some say not worth it it shows weakness. this seems like an open place with many interesting people that are honest and open. so I welcome your comments. As for me, I have choosen not to, as my ex has had a whole lot of jerks in her life (one tryed to choke her), and I hope that one day she realizes that I am above these that she has dealt with in the past. for the record, I never even mouthed off at her, no name calling, no breaking things nada. I ask out of pure curiosity. my story can be read at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?postid=507649#post507649 its a long one!! and I still am coming to terms with many things
beejsea2 Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 It has been eight months since my ex left me. Sure at first I thought about revenge. Than I thought about what would that prove. I mean he could brush it off by saying "see how crazy she is that's why I left" AS far as Karma I'm not sure it exist. My therapist said maybe my Karma was that he messed up on the best thing that every happened to him. I read your story and I can understand how you wanted your ex to end things with integrity and truth. My ex left while I was working and left a note. I have since found out that he was going on-line behind my back talking with other woman, we had been together 4 1/2 years and were talking of marriage. I firmly believe and have been told by many people that the best revenge is to get on with it and have a good happy life. but my friend got me interested in how different people view the topic. I have spoken to some guys, that are all for an eye for an eye, some say not worth it it shows weakness. this seems like an open place with many interesting people that are honest and open. so I welcome your comments I believe that you are right about the best revenge is to go forward with a happy life. I have found out that my ex has proposed to a woman that he has been talking to on-line for three months that he hadn't meet yet. So for me my revenge against him...not to think about him anymore
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I got revenge on my ex in a way. He went nuts and broke into my house, tried to kill my friend. Now he's in jail awaiting trial. The state is asking for 15 years in prison, no option for parole. I still feel sh*tty about the whole thing. It's not satisfying to know that someone else is going to suffer, even if they did hurt you.
tanbark813 Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I got revenge on my ex in a way. He went nuts and broke into my house, tried to kill my friend. Now he's in jail awaiting trial. The state is asking for 15 years in prison, no option for parole. I still feel sh*tty about the whole thing. It's not satisfying to know that someone else is going to suffer, even if they did hurt you. There's a difference between revenge and justice. I would argue that yours is the latter, BO.
Guest Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I got a little bit of revenge on my ex. I know that he has been on a dating site - infact that is where I met him. So after our break up I changed everything about my profile and then went on there and sent him and e-mail. I got him to tell me all about himself and then I told him he was immature and a hillbilly. The funniest part is that a few days later he actually told me about it b/c I think his feelings were hurt! I only did it to make him think about how nice I was to him and how much of a b*tch some girls can be! I think he got the point!
blind_otter Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 There's a difference between revenge and justice. I would argue that yours is the latter, BO. I suppose so, as, even though I am sad that he is going to suffer, and sad that he is a lost soul - I would not change things. I can't save him from himself. But, I think, making someone else truely suffer because they did something that hurt you isn't right and should not feel good. The best revenge really is a life well-lived.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 One for the girls, did a guy ever try and get revenge on you? how did you feel then? I was with a guy for a short while. I was lonely, bored and was looking for someone to date casually in this one backwater little town where I was working at the time. Unfortunately, he was an insecure basket case, with a penchant for moving way too fast way too early. The more I backed away from commitment, the more aggressive he became. Eventually I broke up with him and started seeing someone else. His 'revenge' came in the form of punching holes in my walls, throwing stuff (food, drinks, etc) at my car in public, telling people that I 'worshiped the devil (because of my tattoos), telling anyone who would listen that I was a whore, he would follow me around in his truck and shout at me, stage elaborate 'suicide' attempts, trying to get his redneck girl friends to harass me, and so on. Basically it wasn't revenge because I never felt bad for dumping him. If anything, he just turned whatever pity I might have had for him into hatred. As for garnering sympathy, it didn't work. People just became more convinced that he was unhinged. Eventually I had to call the police to get him off my property one day, because he was standing outside screaming that he was going to break in and murder me and the guy I was seeing at the time. They came and made him leave, and he left me alone after that.
Jadey Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 I dont mean to toot my own horn but i think karmahas already taken place with my ex in maybe what people would consider s strange way! This is how: He threw away something sooo good, i was brilliant to himand gave himsome the best experiences of his life He coulda had it brilliant, so much could have happend in the future, family,marriage etc. I woulda gave him everything i possible could Hes lost my family too. Some ofmy family are great and would have became his fami;y. I just know that we would have had such an awesome time all together! Hes thrown away not only me and a brill life but hesthrown away my family members too who are so special. Such as my lil nephews and niece who loved him and he loved back. Basically i truely believe that hes thrown away something so special, possibly the best ting that happend to him and i also believe he willone day realise that too if he havent yet! My friend done all sorts of **** to her ex to get him back and itmade her look just as bad if not worse. So i just think of all hes left behind and smile that hes thrown it all away and hopedully one day he will pay for it! :)Best revenge ever!!It will do moredamage than a scratched car
moimeme Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 If anything, he just turned whatever pity I might have had for him into hatred. As for garnering sympathy, it didn't work. That's the general effect of revenge. Rather than making the target feel bad/ashamed/whatever you're hoping to achieve, it just confirms to them that they're well rid of you. Leave it to karma to tend to for you. The university BF I had who dumped me just before I had to defend my paper was subsequently robbed and lost his beloved sound system. I had nothing to do with it but must admit to having been secretly a little pleased since he'd been so inconsiderate.
miss-gonewest Posted June 17, 2005 Posted June 17, 2005 I don't agree with revenge... when you break up with someone, you already feel pretty ordinary, no need to add guilt, shame and embarrassment to the mix! Especially if they are expecting you to do something naughty - why give them the satisfaction? Besides, if you are trying to get back with him, my guess is that you'll just blow your chances by doing something silly. My biggest fear is having to see them again - the world really is a small place, you never know who is around the next corner!
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