Venn Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 We have to accept that they moved on so easily... T.T I don't know... maybe they don't love us that much anyway... even if they did a lot of effort in the relationship... or if they just forced themselves to love us... who knows?... We'll never get closure from them anyway T.T 1
Author Jim nine three Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 They most definitely loved us as much as we loved them at one point or another.But you can't force someone to feel about you in a way they don't anymore.That's the truth.Here is an article that helps me gain perspective when I am feeling down : Why You Can't Make Your Ex Fall In Love With You Again | Thought Catalog At the end of the day,if they regret their decision they know where we are.But we really should not linger onto hope.As far as I am concerned she has moved on completely and never coming back.Sad,I know,it breaks my heart but it is what it is
Satu Posted March 8, 2016 Posted March 8, 2016 (edited) I am totally aware of this,believe me I have realised this for some time now and hope to move on with my life.*Question is how does on stop "being in love" with someone else? *The first step is realising that it is not love; that it is a dysfunctional attachment, an addiction. Edited March 8, 2016 by Satu 1
Author Jim nine three Posted March 8, 2016 Author Posted March 8, 2016 I can see where you're coming from.Believe me I really love her,like I also do most of my exes no matter our relationship now days.After all at some point in my life they were the center of it. I want to be with her,but I know I can't force her to want the same things I do.Maybe she will miss us and if she truly loves me come back around,maybe not.I,however,know I can live my life without her and since we are not together that's what I will,can do...
Author Jim nine three Posted March 11, 2016 Author Posted March 11, 2016 So I cut off all contact with my ex about a month ago.Two days ago she texted me out of the blue telling me that she found some old stuff of mine she had in her house from a couple of years ago.She told me she would get in touch with me today so she would give them back.However today I have heard nothing from her. I don't really mind since the things are pretty much irrelevant and frankly I don't really mind her not contacting me today as well.I won't take of this for anything else than it is.But seriously?What's this all about?She could have given me these things ages ago.Could this be a form of contact re-initiation from her part?Any thoughts? 1
Zahara Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 What are you confused about? In your past threads you mention she's rejected you several times but continues to want to have some access into your life by popping in and out. She's doing the same exact thing. You're a fallback. Someone that provides her attention, comfort, and ego boost, a shoulder, you're familiar -- while she moves on with her life. Why haven't you blocked her? You've been stuck since January when you first posted. 1
kidm Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 Ego boost. Check in to see if you're still around and will respond. 2
lolablue17 Posted March 11, 2016 Posted March 11, 2016 It's a trap! Don't cooperate. Ignore. She wants to have a mini replay of the break up. Your role is to show interest, to show that you're still thinking about her, and her role is to hurt you again by saying "I'm sorry but no". Stay away from her. 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 Any thoughts? Here are my thoughts: Don't become a crumb-eater. Nobody respects them. Block her.
Author Jim nine three Posted March 12, 2016 Author Posted March 12, 2016 I have blocked her since last time I posted here,she reached out through cell phone text.It is probably just her way of seeing if I am still around,which honestly I am not.Should I tell her to deliver my stuff to one of my friend if she reaches out again?
Zahara Posted March 12, 2016 Posted March 12, 2016 I have blocked her since last time I posted here,she reached out through cell phone text.It is probably just her way of seeing if I am still around,which honestly I am not.Should I tell her to deliver my stuff to one of my friend if she reaches out again? Forget the stuff. You've gone months without it. Unless it's an heirloom or belongings of significant value, I'd not risk any contact with her. Just ignore her. People use "stuff" as a way of keeping the door open to communication. If since January you've let your things sit there, best to just let it go. And block her from everything.
Author Jim nine three Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 So I experienced a horrible post break-up period over these last months.I have posted about it on several threads beginning from January up to some weeks ago.Basically I went through it all,begging,heartbreak,seeing her in a relationship with someone else,many sleepless nights,regrets,anger...you name it! About a month ago I decided to cut off all ties with her.It was definitely the right decision,I knew that to move on I had to separate myself from my past life and habits.At first however I secretly hoped that my absence would make her regret letting me go and make her attempt to rekindle things.I knew that cutting off all ties would serve nothing else but make me move on,but part of me still kept holding onto hope. At first,it was tough.Most days were bad.I kept thinking about my ex girlfriend throughout my whole day.As the days went on I started going out more,meeting new people and hanging out with old friends.I actually enjoyed the company of others,something I had forgotten about.I even met a couple of fantastic ladies.Who knows,my next thread may be in the dating section Over the last week I get this feeling like a switch has flipped inside me.I don't miss us...I don't miss what we had,neither feel sad about anything at all.It's not hate nor love,though I still wish her well,like all the people that I shared part of my life with or were important to me at some point,it's a weird feeling of indifference.Sure,nostalgic feelings sometimes come and go but the same goes with everything you once held dear,nothing out of the ordinary. It feels like an invisible cord has been cut.No longer am I connected to this person emotionally,mentally or physically like I were before.It's like my life has now completely separated from hers and now I am leading a life completely on my own,which makes me feel happy. For the first time in months I am more eager for what is about to come rather than what I once had.Is this it then?Don't get me wrong,I have gone through a bad break-up once or twice before,however each time really feels different and this time it was a relationship of almost 4 years,no wonder it seems strange and almost like a new experience I guess.Is this how "moving on" happens?
TheBathWater Posted March 22, 2016 Posted March 22, 2016 Sounds good to me, man. Congratulations on your newly found emotional freedom from your ex-girlfriend! I have been experiencing this exact same process this week. I don't know what happened, but like you said, it's like a cord was cut and I am looking forward more than I am looking back. And we're both optimistic about it. Feels good, huh? I think it can only get better from here. I know it feels SO good now after having gone through what felt like endless grief and hurt. Don't be entirely surprised if you still have occasional negative feelings about your ex. This is normal and nothing to get too alarmed about. As long as you continuing to feel like things are moving forward for you overall, that's a good sign.
Author Jim nine three Posted April 2, 2016 Author Posted April 2, 2016 So,here's the situation.I have cut off ties with my ex more or less a couple of months ago.Over the last weeks I have been feeling great.I have been working on my career,made new friends and acquaintances,even taken an interest on a new girl I like.Things have been going great!Over this period of time I have thought less and less about my ex girlfriend,up to the point I started to feel indifferent about the whole thing.Life has started to finally feel good again and I am enjoying it to the fullest. Now,these last couple of days however I experience a weird emotional situation.Don't get me wrong,I don't want her back neither miss the mess I had been all these months after our break up,I am actually glad I made progress with moving on and plan to keep doing that.I get a feeling like I was wronged though,like I gave it my all for that relationship to thrive and flourish to no avail.It's a weird feeling really but it is what it is.I still get the occasional nostalgic feelings once in a while but that doesn't bother me,I have taught myself to not pay too much attention to them as they lessen with each passing day.The fact that I tried my best to work things out,to show her that I truly cared for her and loved her,but it wasn't appreciated still bothers me today it seems. Is this normal?should I be having these thoughts still?It really confuses me to be honest...
mightycpa Posted April 2, 2016 Posted April 2, 2016 Is betrayal the magic word? Anyway, your emotions in this process are a lot like waves, sometimes you feel the crest and sometimes the trough, but most of the time it's somewhere in between, moving one way or the other.
Author Jim nine three Posted April 2, 2016 Author Posted April 2, 2016 Is betrayal the magic word? Anyway, your emotions in this process are a lot like waves, sometimes you feel the crest and sometimes the trough, but most of the time it's somewhere in between, moving one way or the other. Probably,betrayal is one way to describe it I guess.I know that this too will fade away but it really feels strange these couple of days,such thoughts coming to my mind again from nowhere.I like the way you describe it though!
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