Savannah Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years and have been living together for the past year. About a month ago, he asked me to move out and since the apartment is technically his, I had no choice. He said it had nothing to do with me and he still wants to continue our relationship. I have a hard time grasping that it has nothing to do with me. I have moved back in with my parents a month ago and am getting ready to move into my own place in a couple of weeks. Now he is going to start a new job and won't have that apartment anymore (his job gave him the apartment). His new job is very close to my new apartment so I offered for him to move in with me, but he refused saying that he wasn't ready and instead is going to live with his brother which is farther away from work and more rent. He has been asking me to stay the night at his place all the time since I moved out, I think I am there more now than when I lived there. What' s going on?
laRubiaBonita Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 And everything else about your relationship is Hunky-Dorey?
d'Arthez Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 It is very strange request / demand your boyfriend for you to move out. Technically it was his, but a relationship or friendship is not based on technicalities. He invites you over, so that you spend more time there? I can't find a logical explanation for that, unless there were other problems in the relationship. Perhaps he is looking for a new girl to take your place?
noname Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 hhhmmmmmm... tough one. perhaps he realized that moving in wasn't the best idea. were you two having any problems. living with someone, even just a roomate, can be a deal breaker for any relationship. maybe he thinks that you all need to be stronger before you try to live together. maybe you have some bad living habits. maybe he decided that "living in sin" wasn't for him. since you do not have a crystal ball, the only way you are going to find out is to pick his brain. communicate. tell him you are confused. tell him he is pushing you to make assumptions and that you need clarity...
Author Savannah Posted June 16, 2005 Author Posted June 16, 2005 our relationship has a great base. I went away for basic training and he went to my parents' house a lot just because he missed me. He wrote me every single day while I was gone. I trust him completely, he has never given me a reason to not trust him. I really don't think he is looking for someone else. He said that he needs his time to grow because we moved from our parent's house to live together so we've never experienced living alone. But I don't have the urge to live alone. I guess in some ways it would be nice, but I am ready for what we had when we lived together, I guess he isn't?
Author Savannah Posted June 16, 2005 Author Posted June 16, 2005 We do have a very stong bond, and we didnt really have any problems living together. When we first moved in together, we were working together, going to school together, and going to the gym together and never got sick of if it. But then we both got offered better jobs and from there everything else began to change. He isn't the type of person to consider us living in sin, but he was uneasy of us acting as if we are married, but when your live with someone, you are acting like you're married, right. What 's wrong with that if you aren't.
Author Savannah Posted June 16, 2005 Author Posted June 16, 2005 Does anyone have a suggestion for me? I love him so much and I just want everything to be the way it was before.
laRubiaBonita Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Gawd! Even i feel suffocated, jusyt by reading all the together time in your many posts! I am the type of person that needs "alone time" "me time" otherwise i do feel observed and almost like i cannot breath. I need time to sing out loud, fart anyway i want, eat like a pig and put ketchup on practically everything with out being questioned.....and i do not feel that freedom when i am with someone all the time. especially working, going to school, exercising, and living with the same person my whole young life. How else will you both be able to find anything new out about yourselves, when you are both kinda just acting the way you think the other percieves you? Just a thought. But younger people who have been with one person most of their dating career, sometimes get panic stricken, thuinking that they need to sow some wild oats before the "prime years" are over.
Author Savannah Posted June 16, 2005 Author Posted June 16, 2005 so do you think that he's just not the "one"?
laRubiaBonita Posted June 16, 2005 Posted June 16, 2005 Originally posted by Savannah so do you think that he's just not the "one"? exactly. and if he is, well then it will work itself out, no matter what you do or do not do.
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