Author Genie74 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 We were supposed to be getting engaged but he said he considered us engaged even though i havent actually got a ring:(..and a friend of his gave him some viagra..he hasnt got a prescription for it..he had a lot of trouble from too much porn and brewers droop from what i can gather+he stopped having sex with me for 12 weeks
joseb Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 SAF Dudes just want to "keep it up" for extended periods of time... I still don't see why young guys would need Viagra. Surely this is not an issue unless they have a problem or are getting old...am I missing something?
Author Genie74 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 I think it may be a case of the honeymoon period being over. There was the wooing, romancing and the gloss of a new love. Now, you've become 'a couple'; he's used to you, and you've become a fixture. He's stopped with the romancing because he feels, as you're long-term partners, it's probably not necessary any more. I hate to break it to you, but this isn't uncommon. If he's not naturally, spontaneously repetitively or habitually romantic, then this won't get better, and in fact may very well deteriorate even more. I don't think he's necessarily preparing to dump you. He's 'settled into it'. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's taking you for granted in a callous way, but the effort factor has slipped, because there's no point to it. I mean, you're his GF now, right? I mean, if you're together, of course he loves you, it's obvious, isn't it? Women GENERALLY tend to have a rosier idea of romance, and a longing for their men to be romantic, affectionate and open and expressive about it. Look at chick-flicks. That's the kind of stuff that generates and perpetuates all this sentimental stuff. Guys GENERALLY don't get it. They're not on the same mind-frame. (There are exceptions to both 'rules' which is why I was emphatic with the term 'Generally'....) In terms of the hunter-gatherer caveman, they've bagged their woman and dragged her by the hair to their cave. That is obviously gesture enough to indicate they want you. You're "in his cave". What, he needs to keep banging you over the head with his club, and keep dragging you by the hair? Still? Don't you get it woman?? I think you need to discuss your concerns and tell him that you're beginning to feel unloved, and why. But it needs to be a constructive discussion without chest-poking accusations summed up by "You don't love me any more! I think you're going to dump me, you weasel!" How do i go about mentioning my concerns without him thinking im been mean cos he does tend to get very defensive when i mention my worries
Author Genie74 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 I still don't see why young guys would need Viagra. Surely this is not an issue unless they have a problem or are getting old...am I missing something? In a nutshell he stopped sleeping with me for 12 whole weeks..he said it was depression but i found a shed load of porn on his computer...some of it looked at minutes after he'd rejected me..his friend gave him the viagra..it wasnt actually a prescription...we still have a VERY sporadic sex life.
Gaeta Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 In a nutshell he stopped sleeping with me for 12 whole weeks..he said it was depression but i found a shed load of porn on his computer...some of it looked at minutes after he'd rejected me..his friend gave him the viagra..it wasnt actually a prescription...we still have a VERY sporadic sex life. He should not self-diagnoses or self-medicate. If he has a problem getting an erection in his 30s he needs to speak to his doctor. He could have a beginning of prostate illness. 1
TaraMaiden2 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 He should not self-diagnoses or self-medicate. If he has a problem getting an erection in his 30s he needs to speak to his doctor. He could have a beginning of prostate illness. I thought I'd hit the wrong thread, and got confused - but I see now we have a combined 2 threads. My comment with regard to the problem I originally responded to, would still be relevant - had not the second issue emerged. Add everything together and I think your Bf has issues which need addressing bit by bit - but not necessarily by you. If talking to him leads to defensive, hostile responses, I would say this indicates 2 things (possibly): One: He is lousy at self-expression and communication, deflects issues and shows anger to avoid getting into an in-depth discussion - OR: Two: He has something to hide. It might even be both. In either case, you are not his therapist, and merit the common respect and communication any partner in a couple merits. If he can't be civil and conduct a discussion you feel happy participating in, without feeling intimidated or belittled, then think carefully about what emotional wealth such a relationship is bringing you. On the face of it, it seems that in the "I'm really happy and contented!" stakes, you are definitely at a disadvantage, and you're losing out in this one.... 2
joseb Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 (edited) In a nutshell he stopped sleeping with me for 12 whole weeks..he said it was depression but i found a shed load of porn on his computer...some of it looked at minutes after he'd rejected me..his friend gave him the viagra..it wasnt actually a prescription...we still have a VERY sporadic sex life. There are a couple of possibilities. He has an underlying medical problem. If he really has problems with Ed it could be a number of things, heart disease, prostate issues, etc. So yeah a doctor would be a good place to start. But given that he has a shed load of porn on his computer, perhaps he has a bit of a porn addiction. If he had been using porn for a very long time this could explain the Ed. Did you go snooping to find out by the way? Or maybe he just isn't that in to you anymore. He stopped having sex for months...how did he explain this to you? Edited April 1, 2016 by joseb
Curiousroxy86 Posted April 2, 2016 Posted April 2, 2016 In my opinion.....Trust your gut. He is not having sex with you. He is taking erection pills and did t use two of them on you. He is flirting with girls online. He is being secretive erasing things from the computer. Deep down you know something is off. If you talked about it and he is not receptive in making it better then you need to ask yourself if you can live with it staying the same or getting worst. If so don't argue accept. If not don't argue and walk away. He makes his own decisions now you have to make yours.
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