Did I make a mistake when I decided to let him go? Broke up last night.

[nargis]

i really don’t know how to express myself still i will try. Its been 2 years since i am dating my boyfriend. Both of us are in our late twenties and this is the 2nd relationship for both of us. We started dating in 2014 before that we were friends for one year. In his last relationship his ex cheated on him and she dumped him in 2012. In my last relationship my ex got married to someone else,it was a mutual break up. So we started dating after 2 years of that breakup.This was the first time i fell for someone but he was always aloof during the initial period of our relationship.

 

I thought maybe he is still not over her.so i keep on doing my part. i was always extra loving ,caring. I was always eager to see him. six months passed he started opening up little bit..i was so happy but there was always some distance between us. Sometimes he used to behave like a stranger, he never let me in completely in his life. He never asked me anything about my life..i am not talking about general questions i mean questions which makes you close to someone .. it was me who used to tell him about my school days, my college days..my family problem . my childhood days… not even once did he ask me any question about life. he also did not share on his own anything about his life. It not like we never used to talk.. but there was lack of deep connection.Still i waited that one day he will fall in love with me . one day he will see my worth,one day he will let me in his life but that day never came.

 

My 2 birthdays passed,on my first b’day he forgot to gift me anything when he saw me upset he bought me some flowers. i am not a materialistic person.i only wanted something from him as a token of love.. maybe a song sang by him for me, a vidoe anything. When my second b’day came he did nothing . i couldn’t hold myself and i cried but i realized you can’t force someone to do anything maybe birthdays doesn’t matter to him.. so i have decided from now one i will not going to treat my birthday as a special day. His birthday means a lot to me and it will always going to be.. i always planned a lot about his birthday… i want to do everything for him. i just want to see him happy.. but i am not financially strong in comparison to him. so i try to do little things just to make him happy. Its not like that he was a bad person. he is always good to me. everyday he calls me, when i visit him sometimes he cooks for me.. when i share any problem with him he listens to me.. but when i share any problem regarding our relationship ..he avoid listening to me. i feel alone those times. i have to deal everything on my own. he used to flirt with me a lot when we were friends..he used to say lot romantic things to me but since the day we got into relationship he never say anything romantic to me. when i dedicate him any romantic song.. after telling him so many times then only he listen it.

 

i want to do so many romantic things for him.. but i know he will not even understand the depth of my emotions. if we see from outside my relationship is good.. but i feel emptiness in my life.. there is so much distance between us. i tried very hard to fill those spaces in our relationship. but with the time i feel day by day he is turning into a stranger for me. so i broke up with him last night telling him everything .he said he loves me but he doesn’t love me as much as i love him. he said for me he is the priority but he can;t do the same. he said i should reconsider..he said he understand very well that how much i love him..he loves me too but not to that extent .. after that he did not say anything and he excepted that. i know one thing in my heart i can fight to the whole world for him.. but i can’t fight with him for his love.He was my everything. i can do anything for his one smile. its not like i wanted to change him . i loved him the way he was.. i just wanted to feel loved.Did i make any mistake in letting him go ??

[266696687]

i really don’t know how to express myself still i will try. Its been 2 years since i am dating my boyfriend. Both of us are in our late twenties and this is the 2nd relationship for both of us. We started dating in 2014 before that we were friends for one year. In his last relationship his ex cheated on him and she dumped him in 2012. In my last relationship my ex got married to someone else,it was a mutual break up. So we started dating after 2 years of that breakup.This was the first time i fell for someone but he was always aloof during the initial period of our relationship.

 

I thought maybe he is still not over her.so i keep on doing my part. i was always extra loving ,caring. I was always eager to see him. six months passed he started opening up little bit..i was so happy but there was always some distance between us. Sometimes he used to behave like a stranger, he never let me in completely in his life. He never asked me anything about my life..i am not talking about general questions i mean questions which makes you close to someone .. it was me who used to tell him about my school days, my college days..my family problem . my childhood days… not even once did he ask me any question about life. he also did not share on his own anything about his life. It not like we never used to talk.. but there was lack of deep connection.Still i waited that one day he will fall in love with me . one day he will see my worth,one day he will let me in his life but that day never came.

 

My 2 birthdays passed,on my first b’day he forgot to gift me anything when he saw me upset he bought me some flowers. i am not a materialistic person.i only wanted something from him as a token of love.. maybe a song sang by him for me, a vidoe anything. When my second b’day came he did nothing . i couldn’t hold myself and i cried but i realized you can’t force someone to do anything maybe birthdays doesn’t matter to him.. so i have decided from now one i will not going to treat my birthday as a special day. His birthday means a lot to me and it will always going to be.. i always planned a lot about his birthday… i want to do everything for him. i just want to see him happy.. but i am not financially strong in comparison to him. so i try to do little things just to make him happy. Its not like that he was a bad person. he is always good to me. everyday he calls me, when i visit him sometimes he cooks for me.. when i share any problem with him he listens to me.. but when i share any problem regarding our relationship ..he avoid listening to me. i feel alone those times. i have to deal everything on my own. he used to flirt with me a lot when we were friends..he used to say lot romantic things to me but since the day we got into relationship he never say anything romantic to me. when i dedicate him any romantic song.. after telling him so many times then only he listen it.

 

i want to do so many romantic things for him.. but i know he will not even understand the depth of my emotions. if we see from outside my relationship is good.. but i feel emptiness in my life.. there is so much distance between us. i tried very hard to fill those spaces in our relationship. but with the time i feel day by day he is turning into a stranger for me. so i broke up with him last night telling him everything .he said he loves me but he doesn’t love me as much as i love him. he said for me he is the priority but he can;t do the same. he said i should reconsider..he said he understand very well that how much i love him..he loves me too but not to that extent .. after that he did not say anything and he excepted that. i know one thing in my heart i can fight to the whole world for him.. but i can’t fight with him for his love.He was my everything. i can do anything for his one smile. its not like i wanted to change him . i loved him the way he was.. i just wanted to feel loved.Did i make any mistake in letting him go ??

 

You absolutely did the right thing. One of the most painful things is loving someone who doesn't love you back. You deserve someone that feels the same love for you as you feel for them. You should never accept anything less than that. He has made it clear he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. Letting him go is the best thing to do so you can move on and find someone else. You cannot make him love you.

 

It's been two years if he was going to fall in love with you he would have by now.

 

The fact that he didn't share his life stories with you is also an indicator of him keeping you at a distance. Holding back from real intimacy is a clue he didn't see you as his future.

 

Let him go.

[kztar]

You absolutely did the right thing. One of the most painful things is loving someone who doesn't love you back. You deserve someone that feels the same love for you as you feel for them. You should never accept anything less than that. He has made it clear he doesn't reciprocate your feelings. Letting him go is the best thing to do so you can move on and find someone else. You cannot make him love you.

 

It's been two years if he was going to fall in love with you he would have by now.

 

The fact that he didn't share his life stories with you is also an indicator of him keeping you at a distance. Holding back from real intimacy is a clue he didn't see you as his future.

 

Let him go.

 

You did the right thing in letting him go. Perhaps he was trying to let you go a long time ago but was never had the balls to do it like my ex. It's hard to love someone who doesn't love you back. You feel emptier than you would alone. It ruins you in so many ways that I've never imagined. It kills your self-esteem and everything in you.

 

Move on and find someone else that can reciprocate that love to you. I know it's hard, trust me, im there right now but it will get better for us.

 

Hugs. Know your not alone.

[mightycpa]

Or maybe what you got is his version of showing love, and you feel it's not good enough. I guess what I'm saying is whatever the cause, you're dissatisfied with how it works, and it doesn't sound like it will ever get better.

 

What would you tell your own best friend here? Be your own best friend.

[DevotedBaker54]

I'm sorry you guys broke up. It's hard when you are the one putting in most of the effort in a relationship. Maybe see how you feel in a few weeks once things settle down? You'll miss him, since you're used to him constantly being in your life, but missing a person isn't a good reason to get back together with them. Use this time to focus on yourself and do things you want to do

[Lasko]

I was in your same situation. we were in a LD relationship but whenever we got to see each other, I always wanted to hold her hand, touch her and hug her. but she somehow didn't do the same back to me. she always made excuses why she wasn't affectionate towards me. but she would say things like she misses me and loves me and wanting to live with me one day. she would always apologize for acting that way towards me but her actions say something else. she would call me babe through text messages but never call me babe in front of her family and friends. at the end, she broke it off and I was left with unbearable pain.

 

if someone truly loves you, their actions show what words cannot compared to.

 

that's why I backed off like you did. I was investing too much in the relationship and I was not profiting much in return. it lead to the BU.

 

Love is a form of action, not just a word to throw around so that you can keep the other person stringing along.

 

You did the right thing. maybe he will realize what he had now that you're gone. I hope one day my ex will realize the same.

[Lasko]

I think we're in the same boat, if you ever want to talk or chat. feel free to hit me up.

[blue_daisy]

I know how it feels when you love someone more than he loves you. You try to do everything to make him happy because he is the whole world to you and seeing him happy makes you happier. But he doesn't do the same for you and leaves you being tossed around by your own emotions.

 

It's heartbreaking to go through this breakup and now the wound is very fresh to you. Please keep yourself together. Know that it is not your fault for this breakup and you are a very valuable person. There will be someone else in the future who can appreciate you for who you are and love you back as much as you love him, maybe more. Don't give up!