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I am just really down, never going to see my partner again. Want to move far away.

sevva888

By sevva888
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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sevva888 New Member

sevva888

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We broke up, she was my soulmate, I loved her a lot. She is moving away and things can't be fixed. I ****ed it up (not cheating), I just completely ****ed it up and I will live with it for the rest of my life.

 

I want to move far away, anything to stop me feeling this terrible. It's been 3 weeks since we broke up and everyday has been tough. I see everywhere around me and it kills me inside because everything reminds me of her.

 

People tell me to stop thinking about her, but I can't. I am 25 and it has been unlike anything I have felt before. I am 25 in a few weeks and I don't think I can really handle this in the future.

 

It's things like our birthday being one day after the next, and the fact that she knew the real me, she had my soul. I am 100% over the casual dating scene since I met her, I would rather be alone. I just want to run somewhere far away and start life again.

 

It is just ****ed up because I loved her so deeply.

 

I apologise if this sounds dramatic, I just feel nothing but sadness.

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Lasko Member

Lasko

Posted
Posted
We broke up, she was my soulmate, I loved her a lot. She is moving away and things can't be fixed. I ****ed it up (not cheating), I just completely ****ed it up and I will live with it for the rest of my life.

 

I want to move far away, anything to stop me feeling this terrible. It's been 3 weeks since we broke up and everyday has been tough. I see everywhere around me and it kills me inside because everything reminds me of her.

 

People tell me to stop thinking about her, but I can't. I am 25 and it has been unlike anything I have felt before. I am 25 in a few weeks and I don't think I can really handle this in the future.

 

It's things like our birthday being one day after the next, and the fact that she knew the real me, she had my soul. I am 100% over the casual dating scene since I met her, I would rather be alone. I just want to run somewhere far away and start life again.

 

It is just ****ed up because I loved her so deeply.

 

I apologise if this sounds dramatic, I just feel nothing but sadness.

 

 

Mind telling us what you fcked up on? seems like you know its your fault and you might lose her.

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted

Twenty-five is just barely an adult. You'll survive; believe that. I lost someone quite special to me at around the same age, and I thought I would never get past it. Took a good long while, but obviously I did, and I've lived to tell about it (and other subsequent heartbreaks since). You will, too!

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K2z Established Member

K2z

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What's important is not to make any long term decisions out of this sadness and anxiety. You need to patch yourself up and find some peace, and in the short to medium term that means setting your expectations of yourself low and scoring some simple victories. Your heart is in intensive care. Don't try to exercise it too much.

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smudge21 Established Member

smudge21

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3 weeks is nothing to get over someone. You can't force yourself to heal either, so expecting everything to be fine will only make you worse. Just accept that this is going to suck for a while and you will be down, and that's fine. It shows you care and are human. Try not to be alone too much and stop blaming yourself for everything. We often think we're the ones that have caused the end to a relationship but we have to always remember there are two adults involved here.

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kztar Established Member

kztar

Posted
Posted
Twenty-five is just barely an adult. You'll survive; believe that. I lost someone quite special to me at around the same age, and I thought I would never get past it. Took a good long while, but obviously I did, and I've lived to tell about it (and other subsequent heartbreaks since). You will, too!

 

Did you get married afterwards and find happiness again?. Life is stressful at mid 20's. I feel like after 30 life is basically almost over.

 

So I feel for you OP. I rather be DEAD than go through another heartbreak.

keiji Established Member

keiji

Posted
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Did you get married afterwards and find happiness again?. Life is stressful at mid 20's. I feel like after 30 life is basically almost over.

 

WHAT? You gotta be joking. I'm 38, was divorced at 32, had two painful breakups after that, one of them five months ago. And you know what? I'll love and be loved again.

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Blanco Established Member

Blanco

Posted
Posted
Did you get married afterwards and find happiness again?. Life is stressful at mid 20's. I feel like after 30 life is basically almost over.

 

So I feel for you OP. I rather be DEAD than go through another heartbreak.

 

Um no. I was involved in another LTR and while it wound up being incredibly toxic, some good, life-changing things came from it, so I don't regret it. I would've missed out on those things had I totally shut myself off after the previous heartbreak.

 

Life is basically almost over at 30 if we've somehow gone back to the Middle Ages. Or if you have a bitter, crappy attitude that repels away any potential loved ones.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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OP --

 

 

Hate to tell you this but moving won't solve anything. You are in the immediate aftermath of a break up. You get to be dramatic. You will feel pain.

 

 

If this is your 1st big break up it's going to hurt. The only way to get over this is to go through the pain.

 

 

Give yourself time. Experience the emotions. Surround yourself with positive people. Take some action -- go outside every day; sun light & Vitamin D actually help; get some exercise. Rearrange your life / living space. Get rid of the reminders; pack away all the mementos; move the furniture in your living space; take a new route to work.

 

 

 

 

Life is stressful at mid 20's. I feel like after 30 life is basically almost over.

 

So I feel for you OP. I rather be DEAD than go through another heartbreak.

 

 

kztar -- Life is stressful at every age. It's not almost over at 30. Haven't you ever heard life begins at 40? As I have aged I'm so more at peace with myself. There are way worse things in life then the heartache of a break up. While they are painful, the pain from loss through death is far worse, so please chose your words carefully.

 

 

If you truly believe what you posted, please consult a medical professional. You may be clinically depressed.

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kztar Established Member

kztar

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Posted

LOL guys im sorry, im not trying to be bitter or anything I guess just seems that way because im not where I wish I was or where I was hoping to be at this point in my life. It's great to hear your stories and honestly they are all words of encouragement.

 

I think my issue is that I really thought I'd have my life figured out by now and sadly that is not the case. But im still young I guess lol. I am educated and certainly blessed, just have ALOT more to work for.

 

Life is just hard and yes im pretty sure that there are far many more things worst than a heartache.

keiji Established Member

keiji

Posted
Posted
I think my issue is that I really thought I'd have my life figured out by now and sadly that is not the case. But im still young I guess lol.

 

My ex was 28. The last time we met she said I had destroyed ALL her future plans (with a breakup she initiated, go figure). That sounded so bitter and unrealistic to me. My auntie died and my uncle found a woman when he was like 75 years-old, for God's sake. There's good things in store for all of us, and no, it doesn't need to be a partner.

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sevva888 New Member

sevva888

Posted
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Mind telling us what you fcked up on? seems like you know its your fault and you might lose her.

 

I left it too late to tell her how i felt about her. She was already gone. She is 29 and has bought a house in the countryside, hundreds of miles away. Wants to settle down and have kids... with someone new she will meet.

 

I am trying to look at photos and tell myself that she is not perfect and I can do better, but the pain does not really go away. It softens the blow, it does not heal.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Did you ever tell her you love her & want to have kids with her while living in the country? If that is true, that you want to be with her, try sending her flowers.

 

 

If you are at all equivocal about how you feel & what you want, then leave her be to pursue her dream.

bluefeather Established Member

bluefeather

Posted
Posted
I left it too late to tell her how i felt about her. She was already gone. She is 29 and has bought a house in the countryside, hundreds of miles away. Wants to settle down and have kids... with someone new she will meet.

 

"with someone new she will meet." wth does that mean? did you tell her that you love her and did she respond with "I want to meet someone new some day." Your wording is really confusing.

Girlfromcali Established Member

Girlfromcali

Posted
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Losing someone you love can easily IMO be compared to someone dying. The pain I felt when I lost someone I thought I loved felt the same as when my parents died.

 

OP, what you're feeling is normal. You have to endure the heartbreak, you cannot go to "coma" or go on autopilot, you have to go through the pain in order to heal.

 

I have a feeling, though, that you and her are not totally over.

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