1Jessie86 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I'm a novice in the world of dating. I online date and make it known that I'm not looking for hook ups. So what's with guys that want you to spend the night? What ever happened to the stage of courtship? I'll be 30 this year..
LydiaLong Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 It is the age of hook-ups. People want sex right away, so that's what men expect.
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 It's a shoot first and ask questions later mentality. Sex is a priority for most guys. Guys would rather have sex then get to know you, women want to get to know them before sex. All you can do is tell them no. If they don't like it, move on. They are not worth your time.
insert_name Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 In my experience the women are pushing to sleep with me by date 2. We are all kidding ourselves by holding to the pretence that women are more reserved and want to be selective about who they sleep with. Both genders are as bad as each other these days and are usually DTF ASAP. I don't like it, I would prefer a steady courtship but it seems that era is long gone. So I can well imagine the guys want to get the girl home on date 2 because that is what the women usually want too. If you can't beat them, join them. 1
SammySammy Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 They like cooking you breakfast in the morning. It's a way to show you he cares and is marriage material. 4
joystickd Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I'm a novice in the world of dating. I online date and make it known that I'm not looking for hook ups. So what's with guys that want you to spend the night? What ever happened to the stage of courtship? I'll be 30 this year.. Nothing happened. It's just men are more honest about looking out for self interests. As humans we all look out for self. Women want to wait for sex to look out for them and men want sex asap to look out for them. It's just a matter of finding someone to meet in the middle and create a win win situation. No man wants to be the meet emotional needs guy without reciprocation. All of us just need to be honest about this need of looking out for self and stop putting the veneer of it being an issue with dating. You just have trouble of finding the path of least resistance to meet your needs and it's an issue for you. Dating is a path of resistance and if it isn't then you are in trouble
Lovelorn00 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 They like cooking you breakfast in the morning. It's a way to show you he cares and is marriage material. Ha! Oh, wow.
joystickd Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 It's a shoot first and ask questions later mentality. Sex is a priority for most guys. Guys would rather have sex then get to know you, women want to get to know them before sex. All you can do is tell them no. If they don't like it, move on. They are not worth your time. What is the benefit of a man to connect emotionally if there is a risk of not having sex? Being emotionally vulnerable is a big thing for a man. It's how women feel when men ask for sex early on. At some point you just are going to have to compromise and find a man that is willing to also. That is the big problem no one wants to compromise. If you want something sometimes you have to give something.
mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 I admit, there are times when I wonder myself what happened to "the way it was" vs. "the way it is now". But then again, just watch an episode of Sex In The City - the four women are all different aspects of ourselves and we are all them at different points. But no matter who you are or are not, remember this: Don't put out before dinner. Not even Samantha Jones is that insecure. Ha ha ha ...
mrldii Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 OP, I just recently learned (here on LS, as a matter of fact!) that sex, nowadays, is safe (from diseases and unwanted pregnancy), that women enjoy sex even MORE than men do (apparently, we're just physically *wired* and engineered that way), and that those who are capable of freely and easily having sex with others (a trait more commonly found in men) are "modern, engaged, and intelligent" people, whereas those who are NOT as capable (typically, women) are stuck in Puritanical mores and are more apt to cave to social mores and conventions, and to keep their sexuality "locked up", denying themselves the pure awesome and driving life-force which is "sex". Apparently, none of these "modern, engaged, and intelligent" folk are simply just looking to put another notch in their bedpost (to use an archaic phrase) and are NOT just looking for a quick-and-easy "hook-up".
Lady2163 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 They like cooking you breakfast in the morning. It's a way to show you he cares and is marriage material. That really did make me laugh out loud and ellicited a very unladylike snort... Listen, men have always tested the waters on these things. If a goodnight kiss turns into a make out session, chances are they are not going to stop sucking face, say goodnight and leave. They're going to reach for your breasts. I think it is kind of a shot in the dark for them.. They throw the idea out there, with two possible answers. Yes or no. Either answer is a win for them. Yes, and they score. No and they decide whether to keep dating or move on to someone else. It's informational feedback for them.
Recommended Posts