Lina23 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I met this guy about 1,5 years ago.back then I still had a boyfriend, but we started talking and had an amazing chemistry. At the end of the evening he asked my number and texted me 3 days later. He always kept contact, with very short but sweet conversations every month. About a half year ago I broke up with my boyfriend and 3 months ago we had our first 'date'. He lives very far away, so we can't see eachother very often. He is very sweet and caring when we are on a date. Also sometimes in his texts. But he always stops replying, only to start a conversation or give me a random compliment 2 weeks later. After the second date before we said goodbye asked me when we will see each other again, then he said over text that he likes me very much. Still he is sometimes rescheduling dates or all of a sudden cold in text.he texts , I answer , he sees my answer and waits untill the next day to reply. I have the feeling he always wants to be the one that stopped texting. We didn't have sex but he is very flirty when we see each other. Talking about how he thinks about relationships, saying stuff like ' if we were in a relationship' and asking questions about me. I'm totally falling for this guy, but it takes forever! He is driving me mad, cause now I really want him. Could it be that he is playing hard to get?
basil67 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 No, he's not playing hard to get. He's just flaky. And it's also quite possible that the long distance isn't working for him. Don't let your infatuation lead you into a relationship which won't satisfy you. 2
loveweary11 Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I'm this guy all the time. With me, it's because I'm not sure what or who I'm looking for. So... I have a lot of options open. Tons of girls can sniff this out and move on. This guy is probably doing the same. 1
truth_seeker Posted March 31, 2016 Posted March 31, 2016 I met this guy about 1,5 years ago.back then I still had a boyfriend, but we started talking and had an amazing chemistry. At the end of the evening he asked my number and texted me 3 days later. He always kept contact, with very short but sweet conversations every month. About a half year ago I broke up with my boyfriend and 3 months ago we had our first 'date'. He lives very far away, so we can't see eachother very often. He is very sweet and caring when we are on a date. Also sometimes in his texts. But he always stops replying, only to start a conversation or give me a random compliment 2 weeks later. After the second date before we said goodbye asked me when we will see each other again, then he said over text that he likes me very much. Still he is sometimes rescheduling dates or all of a sudden cold in text.he texts , I answer , he sees my answer and waits untill the next day to reply. I have the feeling he always wants to be the one that stopped texting. We didn't have sex but he is very flirty when we see each other. Talking about how he thinks about relationships, saying stuff like ' if we were in a relationship' and asking questions about me. I'm totally falling for this guy, but it takes forever! He is driving me mad, cause now I really want him. Could it be that he is playing hard to get? The hell you doing giving your number out and talking to this guy while you had a boyfriend? Shame on you! He's a player. He's getting you all excited to build up when he visits you. You're being groomed to be his out of town piece. 1
jcromp Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 It doesn't seem like he's playing hard to get as much as it seems like you're not the only girl he's seeing. Now being that you're not sleeping together and you haven't had a conversation about being exclusive, that's not totally a bad thing. But the facts are that he lives far away and he's not reliable about contacting you. You say that this is driving you crazy. Well, it's not likely to get better since guys are usually the most attentive when you first start dating. So, basically, if it's already driving you crazy, you may want to move on. Also, he's very likely the type to have several girls going at once and you living far from him only makes it that much easier for him to do that. Also, are you in the habit of handing out your number when you have a boyfriend? If so, you shouldn't be too pissed if you find out this guy is a player. How would you have felt if your boyfriend was passing his number out when you were together?
mortensorchid Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 He's not playing hard to get, he's not that interested. He is obviously seeing other women during these periods of silence then likes to come back and yank your chain when he's so inclined, thinking this is going to be more serious than it is. It's not. So I suggest you see other men as well.
Buddhist Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Well, if he's playing hard to get then he's playing. And that's never a fun situation. Next time he asks you about 'if we were together' why don't you say to him. Be with me and then you'll find out. If he doesn't jump on an open invitation then he's just playing games and you can move on.
frus69 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 . Next time he asks you about 'if we were together' why don't you say to him. Be with me and then you'll find out.. I would say "we will never be together" and wait for the look on his face then never see him again 1
smudge21 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Sadly with game players all you can do is walk away, or play their game. Stop being the one who initiates contact or try being the one who doesn't reply to his messages for a while. If he's flaky, then at least that should spur him on (if he thinks he's losing your attention). I personally hate this when it's done to me - if you don't want me in your life, fine, leave, go, whatever, but don't play hot and cold with others emotions and time. Life's too short. 1
Author Lina23 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 It doesn't seem like he's playing hard to get as much as it seems like you're not the only girl he's seeing. Now being that you're not sleeping together and you haven't had a conversation about being exclusive, that's not totally a bad thing. But the facts are that he lives far away and he's not reliable about contacting you. You say that this is driving you crazy. Well, it's not likely to get better since guys are usually the most attentive when you first start dating. So, basically, if it's already driving you crazy, you may want to move on. Also, he's very likely the type to have several girls going at once and you living far from him only makes it that much easier for him to do that. Also, are you in the habit of handing out your number when you have a boyfriend? If so, you shouldn't be too pissed if you find out this guy is a player. How would you have felt if your boyfriend was passing his number out when you were together? Oke, yes giving my number was a not nice of me, but I can honestly say that I never felt a bigger chemistry before and knowing that my ex-boyfriend has been cheating on me my attitude was like: **** it. Still no excuse and you are right. And I also think that he is seeing others girls, it's fine I decided to just back off.
Author Lina23 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 (edited) Sadly with game players all you can do is walk away, or play their game. Stop being the one who initiates contact or try being the one who doesn't reply to his messages for a while. If he's flaky, then at least that should spur him on (if he thinks he's losing your attention). I personally hate this when it's done to me - if you don't want me in your life, fine, leave, go, whatever, but don't play hot and cold with others emotions and time. Life's too short. He has been writing everyday now and yesterday we write 2 full hours before he said goodnight. I'm never the one that starts the conversation. If he doesn't Text 5 days, I will also not. But I will indeed try not responding to his texts anymore. I need to back off. It's just really sad, I never felt something like this before. I'm also not used of getting turned down, so It could be that this is just because my ego is hurt Edited April 1, 2016 by Lina23
smudge21 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 He has been writing everyday now and yesterday we write 2 full hours before he said goodnight. I'm never the one that starts the conversation. If he doesn't Text 5 days, I will also not. But I will indeed try not responding to his texts anymore. I need to back off. It's just really sad, I never felt something like this before. I'm also not used of getting turned down, so It could be that this is just because my ego is hurt Could there be a chance that he thinks you're not interested? I mean, if it's been this long and still nothing has happened, he may be thinking that although he wants to keep you close, he thinks you don't. If he always initiates, maybe he wants you to take charge more, show some more energy. I don't know, it's a tough call as you both could be giving out signals that the other is getting confused about... or he could just be a player. Maybe if it's getting this tough you should just go all in and speak to him about it. Tell him you want him but don't want to play games. I know that can be a tough call as you run the risk of losing him, but the alternative is to hang around in limbo. 1
Author Lina23 Posted April 1, 2016 Author Posted April 1, 2016 Could there be a chance that he thinks you're not interested? I mean, if it's been this long and still nothing has happened, he may be thinking that although he wants to keep you close, he thinks you don't. If he always initiates, maybe he wants you to take charge more, show some more energy. I don't know, it's a tough call as you both could be giving out signals that the other is getting confused about... or he could just be a player. Maybe if it's getting this tough you should just go all in and speak to him about it. Tell him you want him but don't want to play games. I know that can be a tough call as you run the risk of losing him, but the alternative is to hang around in limbo. Yes, I have been thinking that too. Especially because when I was with my boyfriend I was nice to him, but not very open. At our last date I told him 'kinda' that I am interested in him. Then he texted me afterwards that he was angry with himself for not kissing me. Then I texted him ( during workhours) and he replied, I texted him again he saw it but didn't reply until the next day. But you are right, maby we should have one more date and then I just will be honest with him! 1
smudge21 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Yes, I have been thinking that too. Especially because when I was with my boyfriend I was nice to him, but not very open. At our last date I told him 'kinda' that I am interested in him. Then he texted me afterwards that he was angry with himself for not kissing me. Then I texted him ( during workhours) and he replied, I texted him again he saw it but didn't reply until the next day. But you are right, maby we should have one more date and then I just will be honest with him! Don't see it as one more date - see it as a first date and make your interests known. He could tell you he feels the same way and you fall into each others arms, or he could be a total tool and play you off, but at least you'll know. It does sound to me though that you've both been on and off far too much. Men and women not only have their sexual organs in different places, but also their brains are wired differently too. What you may think is obvious may be totally hidden to him, and vice versa. 1
Zippy2000 Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 He's not playing hard to get, he's not that interested. He is obviously seeing other women during these periods of silence then likes to come back and yank your chain when he's so inclined, thinking this is going to be more serious than it is. It's not. So I suggest you see other men as well. I agree with this. I ve been that man and if Im interested I d do my damnest to be with you if I m interested. He just luke warm and not that into you.
truth_seeker Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 I agree with this. I ve been that man and if Im interested I d do my damnest to be with you if I m interested. He just luke warm and not that into you. Not so fast... you may be right in this case, but I can tell you anytime I'm attracted to a woman, she is attracted to me, and she is dating someone, I play it cool and keep my distance. I let her know she has to let go of her guy and come to me. I'm not chasing a woman in a relationship no matter how attracted I am to her.
truth_seeker Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 Oke, yes giving my number was a not nice of me, but I can honestly say that I never felt a bigger chemistry before and knowing that my ex-boyfriend has been cheating on me my attitude was like: **** it. Still no excuse and you are right. And I also think that he is seeing others girls, it's fine I decided to just back off. Then why in the hell are you with your boyfriend if he cheats on you? Are you the type to hold onto a guy until you have a new one lined up? 1) Break up with your boyfriend. He's no good. He's a cheater and doesn't respect you. 2) Go on one date with this guy. This way you get a feel for him and can decide if you like him or not to pursue anything further with him. I really don't like your thought process here... you've stated this unbelievable chemistry with this guy yet decide to back off... huh? You could be missing out on something great, keyword: could. This is why you owe it to yourself to go on one date with this guy to find out if the chemistry is real.
OnlyHonesty Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 I met this guy about 1,5 years ago.back then I still had a boyfriend, but we started talking and had an amazing chemistry. At the end of the evening he asked my number and texted me 3 days later. ... What is happening is a bit of karma. Also, any guy with half a brain knows you were not loyal to your current bf because you were talking to them so they do not take you too seriously. 1
truth_seeker Posted April 1, 2016 Posted April 1, 2016 What is happening is a bit of karma. Also, any guy with half a brain knows you were not loyal to your current bf because you were talking to them so they do not take you too seriously. Very true... but if she is telling the truth, in her defense, she gave the number out because of the boyfriend cheating on her. Still, she should have ditched the guy in the first place but that's another argument.
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